Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Zenith

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the matter there was once a considerable dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of the body was immaterial. These were called Horizontalists, their opponents, Verticalists. The Horizontalist heresy was finally extinguished by Xanobus, the philosopher-king of Abara, a zealous Verticalist. Entering an assembly of philosophers who were debating the matter, he cast a severed human head at the feet of his opponents and asked them to determine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging by the heels outside. Observing that it was the head of their leader, the Horizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whatever opinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took its place among fides defuncti.

2008 Update: The point of relative maximal ascendance, for example, the vice-presidency.

19 comments:

Omnipotent Poobah said...

zenith - The long lost twin sister of Xena, Warrior Princess.

mireille said...

As opposed to nadir, for example, the current presidency. xoxo

Anonymous said...

horizontal or vertical posture is immaterial to succeed in obtaining the zenith of physical/mental pleasure...as for vp,some would argue that six feet under will be the zenith of the career...May Peace Engulf the World................

quilly said...

ZENITH n.
The ancient black and white TV set that held Walter Cronkite and Dobie Gillis and Beaver and Cecil & Beanie, and ... do any of you even know whatg I'm talking about?

the amoeba said...

ZENITH, n. What American-made products aren't anymore, which is why Zeniths and just about everything else, including American flags, are now made in (South)East Asia. See ACME.

Jim said...

"Ze Nith, Ze Nith!"

ZENITH: Comes after Zanzibari for some.

ZENITH:
Ze nith
isa myth
created by
mathies of old.
Proof you say?
Goof I say.
..

Doug said...

Poobah, I wonder about a warrior King who names his daughters "High" and "Strange."

Mireille, you're making me miss Karen in the middle.

Bear, no one is a more reliable friend than someone you want dead.

Sure, Quilly. I've read some Ovid.

Amoeba, I for one, enjoy my new job.

Jim,
I won't renounce St. Joan of Arc,
Nor other heretics more dark,
The Manson clan and Uncle Miltie,
But Galileo was rightly guilty.

mireille said...

ZENITH When Jim and Pam finally got together. xoxo

Jamie Dawn said...

Zenith was the only brand of TV my grandpa would own. That and Ford vehicles.

Two days of Z words. Does this mean you are scraping the bottom of the barrel of Bierce's dictionary or are you just fond of Z these days?

tsduff said...

We had to turn the handle of our old trusty Zenith television (handed down from the grandparents) with a pair of pliers. Wrist still smarts just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

miss the ,old Zenith TV days, of black and white,horizontal and vertical control,fine tuning the snow-all done without a remote---America was at its zenith--Leave it to Beaver(black & white),,Married with Children(color)............ :-)

pia said...

I always remember what zenith means--they must have had a good ad when I was a kid, but have to remember nadir by using Mirelle's example

And it's a word I had to use weekly in grad school as it made social work appear as if it has a zenith to ascend to. Nothing against any social workers, just...

kaicevy said...

TLP said...

Just in case you were wondering what Kaicevy said:

"Зевел себе блог, теперь буду писать здесь о своей жизни.

Рассказать я могу много, ждите! Надеюсь хоть кому-то мой бред будет интересно читать..."

That's a direct quote. It sure explains every little thing about Zenith.

Cooper said...

Zenith: An art gallery in D.C., a vegan restaurant in NYC.

Tom & Icy said...

Seems you're saying our VP is a back seat driver.

Minka said...

zenith? the word no German will ever be able to pronounce.

actonbell said...

Heh, Minka, it's hard to develop a lisp. I love these definitions!

(and yes, FM was a Parsi born in Zanzibar)
Happy Wednesday, still a day late, *huff puff*

Doug said...

Who, Mireille?

JD, it's pretty random, but I do tend to use the same letter for the Bierce days.

Terry, kids today just don't understand what vice-grips have to do with entertainment.

Oh, right, Bear. Like you fit in then, either.

Right, Pia, they're horizontalists.

Dosvedanya, kaicevy.

TLP, thank you for clarifying. She may be right.

Cooper, why come I don't know cultural stuff like that?

Maybe, Icy, or maybe just that he's off his firmament.

Pretty much a teutonic trap door, isn't it, Minka?

Actonbell, so that dude would be exotic in Africa, India and an Anglican church. Bohemian Rhapsody was the least of his accomplishments.