Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Digestion

DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead-a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia. This brutal judgement is found in his pamphlet entitled Why Are Women Sickly (John Camden Hotten: London, 1870), a work that has elicited well-merited execration in seventy languages.
"Why are all our women sickly?"
Asks the famous Dr. Blenn.
That is answered very quickly,-
Our physicians all are men.
There is not in this wide world a pleasure so sweet as the vindication of lovely woman against unjust aspersion.

2009 Update: A contest between a dead and a living animal, resolved inevitably in favor of the vegetable.

15 comments:

Karen said...

Pumpkin pie?

Nessa said...

This whole topic makes me want to give up meat.

Sean the Vampire - Part Six - A Halloween Recap

Jim said...

Digestion and indigestion. About the same except different in meaning and not necessarily opposites.
Speaking of pumpkin pie, that is my favorite vegetable. Everytime I see a load of cute pigs in a truck headed for slaughter I almost decide to become a veggie.
..

Thom said...

Give up meat? Never!

Lammy said...

I try to digest this blog but it gets stuck in my craw.

Ariel the Thief said...

Digestion, making room for the next meal in the stomach.

the amoeba said...

DIGESTION, n.

Twins. No, wait, that's digestation.

The making of The Last Remake of Di Geste (Beau's sister). Did Beau Geste have a sister? Did he have an excuse?

One more try ...

The consequences of a steady diet of Reader's Digest. Oh, so that's where Fox News came from ...

Dr. Jeremiah Blenn said...

John Camden Hotten, in the 1870 pamphlet entitled "Why Are Women Sickly?", revealed that I am a brutally wicked writer. This was then translated into 70 languages. If anyone is need of vindication, I believe that would be my humble self!

quilly said...

DI- preposition: Italian denotes place of origin; from

GEST, n. a story; tale; deed; or exploit

-ION prefix denoting action of condition

DIGESTION, n. an Italian action tale? Oh, that's why they called them Spaghetti Westerns!

actonbell said...

Break It on Down!

TLP said...

Garbage in, garbage out.

Cooper said...

From teeth to toot.

Indeterminacy said...

Digestion: a lost art of processing news in order to make informed decisions. In modern times, news is presented in late stages of post-digestion, often more suitable for flushing.

Doug said...

Karen, how did you know pumpkin pie's been on my mind lately?

More for the rest of us, Nessa.

Jim, try carroting.

Well said, brother Thom.

Lammy, try eating it upside down.

Amen, Ariel.

Beaux mots, Amoeba. First cousin.

On the contrary, Doctor Blenn. You have to reach purgatory first.

Quilly, that was circuitous even by your and spaghetti's standards.

Raise the mitochondria, A-bell!

Sounds like my menu plan, TLP.

Yep, Coop, via the esophagus, stomach, duodenum and doctrine.

That's the stuff, Indie. Nice to have you back and potable.

Anonymous said...

decomposition
hence becoming
plant food

Jah