Great

GREAT, n.[SIC] Distinguished by superior excellence among one's fellows, as Hector Stuart among Bards of the South Sea, Dr. Bartlett among the Bulletin's agricultural homilists, Peter Robertson among the writers of "Undertones" in the Chronicle and Harrie McDowell among the fat boys of the Ingleside.

"I'm great," the lion said-"I reign
The monarch of the wood and plain!"

The elephant replied: "I'm great-
No quadruped can match my weight!"

"I'm great- no animal has half
So long a neck!" said the Giraffe.

"I'm great," the kangaroo said-"See

My caudal muscularity!"

"The Possum said: "I'm great-behold,

My tail is lithe and bald and cold!"

"An Oyster fried was understood

To say "I'm great because I'm good!"

Each reckons greatness to consist

In that in which he heads the list.

And Harris thinks he tops his class

Because he is the greatest Ass.

2010 Update: adj. Surmounting falling standards, as the man who, having walked down the beach at low tide and returned with dry feet is declared to walk on water.