Saturday, May 21, 2005

Cemetary

Cemetary, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions following will serve to illustrate the success attained in these Olympian games:

His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to
overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose loose lives
they were a rebuke, represented them as vices. They are here
commemorated by his family, who shared them.

In the earth we here prepare a
Place to lay our little Clara.
Thomas M. and Mary Frazer
P.S. -- Gabriel will raise her.

2005 Update: The trysting place where our ambitions and abilities finally meet.

P.S. I took a cold yesterday. Consider today's post an extended whine.

22 comments:

Manjusha said...

Aw...get well soon!:)

Cemetary is a bit extreme for a cold, don't you think?

Doug said...

Manjusha, thanks for your concern. Can't take the chance of going somewhere I haven't made fun of :)

Andria said...

stones and bones---get well soon

Sreekesh Menon said...

Dont bury him without his curry!

Doug said...

Thanks, Andria and thank you, Sreekesh, but I'm to be tandooried.

weirsdo said...

Dear Mr. Dog,
I am so sorry to see that your unwell. I'll pray for you if I remember. Get well soon!!!!!!!!

You're superstar freind, PANSI

Comfort Addict said...

Where the living come to keep up with the dead.

Doug said...

Thanks, Superstar Pansi. I do feel better. You must have remembered.
Comfort Addict, that's hysterical.

karma said...

when you get well darling Doug, write me an epitaph will you? no, wait, they won't bury me, they will burn me

Doug said...

How 'bout one for your car?

Morris said...

Interesting idea for a blog.

Morris
Ask Morris

Doug said...

Morris, there's no-one more welcome on an Ambrose Bierce-themed site than a grumpy old man. Thanks for the credibility.

dom said...

Great post as usual Doug , keep up the good work !

Tom & Icy said...

I'm not dying to leave a grave comment but I fear that a rendezvous with eternal quietude is a nulllification of abilities and ambition. Get well soon.

Doug said...

Thanks, Dom
Tom & Icy, Nice pun. Thanks for the good wishes, fellow hound.

Laura said...

Great idea for a blog. You'll never run out of ideas...

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

"Gabriel will raise her."

How can I raise corpses when I can't even raise my hopes? Sigh.

Cemetary, n. A city, with no laws or bureaucracy, in which all inhabitants co-exist in harmony.

)+(

Sar said...

I swear, I'm directed to your site every time I surf on Blog Explosion. I do enjoy your site! :)

Doug said...

Thanks, Laura, although actually Bierce's dictionary is finite and I have no thoughts of my own. Should be a while yet, though.

Gabriel, you know I often leave out the apocrypha but left it in this time just for you. Been looking forward to your comment since.

Sar, I hope you mean that. Nothing is more annoying than those sites that seem to come up every time you log in. Thank you for your kindness, and my apologies if it's tiresome. Like the shoe, though.

weirsdo said...

I thought maybe you could continue indefinitely by doing Biercean definitions of new words. I wonder how Bierce might have defined "computer," or "blog," for example.

morningdew said...

Thanks for the comments and the birthday wishes!

I really appreciate your thoughts!

I also enjoy reading your blog!

Doug said...

Thanks, weirsdo, I've thought about that. I think I can go a year anyway. Then maybe do as you said.

Thanks, Morningdew, delighted you made it over. I'm a fan.