Thursday, June 23, 2005

Eucharist

Eucharist, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi.
A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.

2005 Update: A ritual that remembers Jesus' broken body and shed blood to many who forget his golden rule.

34 comments:

Sar said...

Much like the Soup Nazi, some Catholic Priests will refuse to serve those who dare to be free and independant thinkers.

"You believe in a woman's right to choose? No Eurcharist For You!".

weirsdo said...

Christinanity is quite widespread. . .

Doug said...

Sar, if youthinks that today's post was a continuation of yours from yesterday, you are correct, madame.

Weirsdo, and autoidolatry is spreading.

karma said...

now i want to know what they eat

Sar said...

I had a hunch, but didn't want to be presumptuous. I'm flattered and honored to have provided the inspiration. :)

Doug said...

Karma, in case that's a serious question, the debate was between those who believe that they are eating bread and drinking wine as representation of Jesus' blood and body and those who believe that they are eating Jesus' actual body and drinking his blood. Then there's been debate regarding when in the process of the eucharist, the body becomes flesh and the wine blood. Answering those questions correctly is vitally> important. Oh, and Mormons drink water. Hindus tea.


Pshaw, Sar. By the way I was on a blog yesterday night where you had left a comment. I outed you as Karl Rove. I'm planning to spread that around.

Sar said...

Which blog - I need to address my minions.

Doug said...

Don't remember the title. It had a picture of an old man on a bench. I plan to do this a lot, by the way. The truth will out.

Karama said...

This week's words from "A Word A Day" are all from Ambrose Bierce (e.g.wordsmith.org/words/mendacious.html). Enjoy!

Indeterminacy said...

Eucarist: One of the members of a party of evangelists who have come together to decide national policy over a game of cards.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Eucharist, n. The teatime of orthodox deivores, symbolic of life itself via the act of transubstantiation--insomuch as an ideal (or word) becomes flesh, which, mere hours after consumption, becomes excrement.

If God is omnipresent, He's going to hate that last burrito...

)+(

Sar said...

Gabriel - you are perversely hillarious!

Doug said...

Karama, thanks for the tip and welcome to this site.

Indie, Euchre is a religious ritual in much of the U.S. Midwest.

Actually, Gabe, that one was a little much for me to digest, too. Peace, though. Guess I brought it up. Deivore is a nice translation of Theophagi.

Solace Cai said...

If we killed five hundred thousand people over every debate, I think the only person still living would be John Kerry!

Doug said...

One rail, two rails...ah that explains it.

See, Gabriel, an up vote from Sar.

That's funny, Solace Cai. Truth is, Bierce may have been underestimating.

Dog Face Girl said...

I don't get it, but then again, I'm not religious. So I guess they won't give it to me. My pic is up.

Chris said...

Ha! Doug, my site is one of the ones where you outed Sar.. sorry Sar. LOL
I am with dog face up there, I dont get it either, but oh well, I am blonde and thats my story and I am sticking to it. Oh and thanks for stopping by to see me!

Doug said...

Dog Face, non-religious people can have Eucharist at the more liberal churches.

Chris, go on and call Sar "Karl"

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Eucharist tastes like left-overs to those who are really close to Jesus.

Lucinda Sans says that tomorrow is Ambrose Bierce's birthday.

Doug said...

Tan Lucy, that's really clever. And Lucinda's right. Thanks to her comment last week, I'm baking a cake.

prying1 said...

Sort of late now but my contribution was to be: Pain in the wrist from playing Euchre...

Don't worry, I'll leave quietly....

dddragon said...

As long as it's leftover chocolate cake ...

and yes, DH=Dear Husband, despite mom thinking I meant Dumb Husband. (well, sometimes ...)

Hey, the next time you're on Monterey Road in South Pasadena, wave hello to the house at 1917. It was always my favorite house of all the ones we lived in CA.

Doug said...

Prying, your always welcome to stick around, maybe show off your scar and have a...never mind. That wasn't at all too late.

I'll do that. I was at Fremont and Monterey twice this morning. How long did you live here?

karma said...

one man's meat, as they say. the tea hindus drink makes them reach for parts other drinks don't

Doug said...

How's that, morsel?

: JustaDog said...

This doesn't go well with the socialist way of thinking.

A Little Bar of Soap said...

"Eucharist tastes like left-overs to those who are really close to Jesus," writes Tan Lucy Pez. FILTH!

Eucharist is a holy sacrament and I do not appreciate it being made the subject of humor and social commentary by Doug and Tan.

Besides, I'm very close to Jesus, and it tastes just like wine and bread to me. Praise be to Jesus!

Andria said...

i went to catholic school, but wasnt catholic. i was not allowed any eucharist so i would go home and make my own from wonder bread, the cross and all. it was awful but it made me feel included

Tan Lucy Pez said...

We lived in that house on Monterey Road for two years only. It was a fun place, but too much upkeep! Always something to fix in an old place. It was built in 1900. We moved from there 36 years ago.

Doug said...

Just a dog, welcome back. No socialists here. Speak more clearly into my lapel next time.

Soapy, it's supposed to taste like blood and flesh. You must be doing it wrong.

Andria, that's kind of a cute story and kind of sad. Don't know why anyone would leave you out.

Tan Lucy, I didn't know the Pezzes had been a California clan. That's the neatest neighborhood in Southern California in my opinion. I'll definitely look for your house. Is that East or West of Fair Oaks?

Sar said...

Doug - another bout of irony...I noticed The Devil did not comment on this of all posts.

And sorry I wasn't around to comment more, I was busy loosing my mind after reading an article in the New York Times (link below) that reminded me of the ignorant yet arogant, moronic, and completely nonsensical statements I recently made. I seem to do that a lot.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/23/politics/23rove.html?

Doug said...

Sar, go to see the devil himsefl.

Speaking of moronic, would you prefer I spread a different rumor as to your secret identity? Maybe, oh, Larry Summers, President of Harvard?

Doug said...

Sar, I just read that article. As his favorite book says "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles?" Matthew 7:15-16, NRSV

Sar said...

So now you're likening me to an anti-environment, anti-woman gruff, huh. Hmmmm.... Though, I have to admit the though of Larry Summers in stillettos is equally entertaining.

And you're right. That passage has never seemed more applicable. Thanks for that backup!