Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Wall Street

Wall Street, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. Even the great and good Andrew Carnegie has made his profession of faith in the matter.

Carnegie the dauntless has uttered his call
To battle: "The brokers are parasites all!"
Carnegie, Carnegie, you'll never prevail;
Keep the wind of your slogan to belly your sail,
Go back to your isle of perpetual brume,
Silence your pibroch, doff tartan and plume:
Ben Lomond is calling his son from the fray --
Fly, fly from the region of Wall Street away!
While still you're possessed of a single baubee
(I wish it were pledged to endowment of me)
'Twere wise to retreat from the wars of finance
Lest its value decline ere your credit advance.
For a man 'twixt a king of finance and the sea,
Carnegie, Carnegie, your tongue is too free!

Anonymus Bink

2005 Update: The world's great center of commerce in all except goods and services.

By the way, five demerits to anyone who leaves "The capitol of capital" in the comments.

20 comments:

Indeterminacy said...

Your new definition really can't be topped. My attempt would be: A street surrounded by walls where people are allowed to hold demonstrations and protest actions, without disturbing anyone.

Doug said...

Ah, yes, Inde, a free speech zone. Brrrr.

Nony Mitchell said...

I don't know how you come up with these...they are fantastic...

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Wall Street, n. Las Vegas for acountants.

)+(

Jessie said...

I second spiritdancerq. They really are fantastic. xD Again, I love your sense of humor. Your biting sense of sarcasm is very amusing. &heart Take care.

Sar said...

Wall Street: The lifesucking financial force my husband was lucky enough to relocate away from last year.

Doug said...

Spirit Dancer and Jessie, remember that these posts are 50-75% Bierce by Volume and 95% by depth. If you are trying to make me a nice guy it won't work. That said, thank you.

Gabriel, I thought Las Vegas was Las Vegas for Accountants.

Sar, is that why he's striding? Glad he got out before he hobbled.

Comfort Addict said...

Mad scurrying driven by the better devils of our nature, fueled by other people's money.

Doug said...

I love it, Comfort Addict, money as the Devil's energy drink. And here I thought Red Bull gave you wings.

Sar said...

Let me dispell the myth - Strider's my brother! But agreed, we're all thankful for hubby's fortunous move.

Doug said...

You married your brother?

Sar said...

Ah, Doug....lol :)

Rohit said...

Another gem, Doug. :D

Doug said...

Sorry, Sar

Thanks, Rohit!

Sar said...

Doug - no prob; it's all good!

Doug said...

I know, Sar, thank you for your graciousness.

Sreekesh Menon said...

significant for the significant!

Doug said...

Putty for the petty!

pia said...

In this case Wall Street is a symbol and a state of mind.

Hate to say this but I like the original definition better. Little less anti-New York

Doug said...

Pia, anti-New York? My apologies if it came across that way. I can't say I don't mean to offend, but I don't mean to offend you. I don't mind a bit that you liked the original definition best.