Monday, October 10, 2005

Charity

Charity, n. An amiable quality of the heart which moves us to condone in others the sins and vices to which ourselves are addicted.

2005 Update: A means for maintaining in poverty those we resent in prosperity. According to the Apostle Paul. a superior quality to faith and hope. That which Joshua Bar Joseph has as action superior to reason. A temptation from sound labor policy in the denunciations of many a faithful minister.

32 comments:

weirsdo said...

Usually begins and ends at home.

Sar said...

True charity comes from the heart, not the wallet, as evidenced by those who donate their time rather than those who donate their money and insist on receipts in order to bolster their tax returns.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...
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Indeterminacy said...

Charity: The sister of Hope and Faith who fell upon hard times.

Don't know if that makes sense. Fortunately there are still a lot of people these days willing to give and do what they can when their help is needed.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Charity: that which those that have bestow upon those that have not in order to in some way assuage their guilty conscience; often given as quickly as possible in order to “get it out of the way" : often tainted with self righteousness.

Charity: Having sexual intercourse with a guy because no one else will.

Charity: Allowing college student to clutter up his forum with useless nonsense.

I'll stop now although I have no classes today and this is quite entertaining.



As much as I have a great disdain for baseball if the Yankees win tonight it may get ugly around here.

;)

Doug said...

Weirsdo, often even a particular room.

Sar, or a child who brings her own possessions to people who are suffering.

It does, Indie, actually it's a great metaphor. The idea of Charity as a supplicant to thriving hope and prosperous faith seems pretty apt in all kinds of ways.

Alice, is there a Sisters of Sympathy convent I could visit?

pia said...

Wish Alice had gone on as I think all the good answers are taken

charity: taking pity on people who don't want the Yankees to win tonight. Though somehow I can't imagine pitying Alice

Jamie Dawn said...
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Jamie Dawn said...

Charity: When you see someone vigorously practicing charity, it is usually out of guilt to make up for not vigorously practicing chastity; a penance.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Charity, n., Something of a virtue, but in many, almost a vice. If it cost nothing, the world would be full of philanthropists.

See, "Colder than charity."

a4g said...

Charity, n. Like relations, often accepted but rarely well.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Forgot to say I loved Alice's mention of the ol' charity f**k. Alice, I'm not so sure that we're to let men know about that!

Doug the SOS's don't hang out in Convents. Maybe that's the problem. Lookin' for love in all the wrong places. Hint: Bars. At closing time.

The Devil said...

Manifestation of the Divine. Hahahaha

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

?Alice, is there a Sisters of Sympathy convent I could visit?
I think there was a whole floor of them down the hall from me last year. I think they moved.

Oh I meant that if the Yankees win things would get ugly between me and Doug. I don’t like baseball but I have to at least cheer them on.

I want to clarify:
I myself am not an advocate of
the charitable f--- nor am I an advocate of chastity; somewhere in between
logic, libido, and love works fine for me.

Doug said...

Pia, your pity is gratefully accepted, although to be honest (see Alice's comment) I wouldn't mind the White Sox being the team to beat the Yanks. On the other hand, I can get to Anaheim.

Beg your pardon, Jamie Dawn, but I donate copiously. What are you saying about me?

TLP, that comment belongs in Bartlett's.

Clever as always, a4g, my friend.

LALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU, TLP!!!

Laugh now, Devil. I bet Little Bar of Soap is charitable all the time.

Alice, did they leave a forwarding address? I promise to still be your friend whatever happens.

Sreekesh Menon said...

some deserve it, some demand it, some enforce it, some profit from it.....

actonbell said...

I agree with Sar's definition.

also--
charity-acting interested every time a coworker goes on about the latest camping trip.

Sometimes charity seems to be a synonym for pity, which is what I think TLP and Alice are talking about--it's usually called a pity-f**k.

Doug said...

Sreekesh, I'm afraid I'm in the final two categories.

Actonbell!!! Shocked! I am shocked! And everyone says you're so refined.

On a separate note, your definition is pretty funny. I'm betting against Mr. C. Alliwantforxmas?

actonbell said...
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karma said...

what links givers and takers

AP3 said...

charity, n. The wonderful quality of character that causes people to describe me as "big boned".

~Daydreamer~ said...

Charity: What the rich and famous claim to do in their free time.

Also see pathetic.

Doug said...

Karma, I thought that was villainy

AP3, I love the South Park phrase "Festively Plump"

Marwa! I see pathetic everyday.

karma said...

ok, so i'm not pretending to be lily-white anymore ... i LOOOVE Alice's, TLP's and actonbell's take on this. i mean they really put the screws on this one ... yayyyy!!!
:P

Doug said...

Ah, Karma, I'm glad you're finally letting down the mask.

Sunil Natraj said...

Something that can be rechristened nowadays as aid.

Ariella said...

Charity-
That which is applied topically by celebrities and anally by politicials (often accompanied by copious quantities of sunshine).
Often self administered.

Doug said...

Sunil, glad to see you back here! Good definition.

Ariella, magnificent!

Daedalus said...

excellent

AsianSmiles said...

Charity- just another way of loving others and loving ourselves. It does make us feel good in the end. I don't know if there is anyone who would do charitable deeds without thinking of that "nice feeling" (aside fr tax exemptions, etc.)afterwards.

*jaded*

Cranky Liberal said...

Chairity - the giving of crumbs in lieu of change.

Doug said...

Thanks, Daedalus. I love what you did with the maze.

Asiansmiles, if you're jaded I must be Roman Polanski.

Cranky, I'm honored your here and love crumbs.