Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Sacrament

Sacrament, n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all -- for which mean economy they will indubitable be damned.

2005 Update: A crowbar the pious apply to the will of their diety.

Note: There is a special ALDS edition up on Doug Drones On

17 comments:

Tom & Icy said...

Like things kids have to do to get what they want.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Sacrament, n., From sadism and sacrifice.
Acts involving mystery, water, wine, and/or oil. Visible gestures which will supposedly bring about invisible results.
See crock of sh*t.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

sacrament: A swear word in Quebec- I think they have it right.

A Little Bar of Soap said...

There's nothing inferior about Protestantism! FILTH!

Sar said...

Sacrement: The religious justification behind otherwise inferred cannibalism.

Jamie Dawn said...

Dunked or sprinkled? No, I'm not talking about donuts.

a4g said...

Sacrament, n. One of several visible manifestations of God's grace. God, having an inferior understanding of his creations, wasted the sacraments on matters of the soul, rather than focusing on popular pursuits such as football or shopping.

actonbell said...

haha, Jamie Dawn, excellent!

dddragon said...

Sar, that's the way I have always felt.

Sacrament learned @ Penn State football game:
Lean to the left, lean to the right
Stand up, sit down,
Fight, fight, fight!

Fred said...

Isn't that the way Arnold pronounces the capital of California?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Good one Fred. Since Doug's in Chicago having fun with his baseball team win. I think we should all come in here and comment on each other's comments.

a4g said...

TLP - excellent idea, but a tall order to be as quick or nimble with the rejoinder as Doug.

Luckily, the quality of conversation on this site makes it easy. Everyone made me smile.

Doug said...

Icy, I agree that whining is a sacrament. Or seems to be.

TLP, "Visible gestures which will supposedly bring about invisible results." is brilliant. Wish I'd wrote that.

Damn heretic French. That's not sacre bleu? Gosh, I've been stereotyping them all wrong.

Sar that's Biercian. He used to refer to Christians as the cult of the theophagi (God eaters.)

Soapy, I agree. Protestants are more efficient. 90% of the salvation with 20% parts and labor.

Filled, Jamie Dawn, in Alabama they used to use fire hoses.

a4g, I just came home from a baseball game in a state of grace. You may have underestimated HIM again.

Actonbell, you're such a nice person. I agree.

Dddragon, religion and college football are pretty welll linked, although I didn't realize that was true in the North-East.

Freeed! Fahntahstik point.

TLP & a4g, I feel like Wally Pipp.

Ariella said...

Hey!
I actually quoted the Devil's Dictionary on my site today
:-D
regarding the definition of dog
That was a genius entry

weirsdo said...

I have nothing to add, but I did send Ariella this way.

Doug said...

Hi, Ariella! I've seen you around some of my favorite blogs. Welcome to this one. I love that definition and the one where we refers to Americans worshing their diety under the names God, Gold, Mob and Dog. I'll check out your site.

Thanks, Weirsdo. That's adding a lot.

dddragon said...

oh, Doug, football is BIG here! Emotions run very high. And the Harrisburg area is a vortex of Eagles, Steelers and Ravens fans. Penn State rules, of course.