Friday, May 19, 2006

Chimpanzee

CHIMPANZEE, n. A species of pansy cultivated in Africa.

2006 Update: A cousin of man, uncle to men.

51 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I'm the first monkey here today.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

That was so sexist, dawg. How 'bout cousin of woman, aunt of humans? Mmmmm...no. I think not after all. Women and men are a different species. You guys can be the chimps.

Indeterminacy said...

Chimpanzee: An embarassed relative.

Sar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sar said...

Chimpanzee: The once adorable creature now subjected to comparisons of likeness with Dubya.

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: Your definition might not be too far off...

breaking news

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! That was interesting Indie. Are you gonna testify?

Mo'a said...

I am quite sure everyone will go Ape over this gay little anthropoid :)
There is a botanical pansy cultivated in Iceland, very hardy......just had to get another Iceland Saga into the fray.

brian said...

That article is banned in Kansas.

brian said...

Mo'a,
lookinf forward to your "A" list meme. Posted my J and R today.

Let's all go bananas.

still life said...

Yeah what Sar said...

chimpanzee, n.incurious George W. and his father in the striped Uncle Sam's hat

WE WANT YOU

Manchego said...

Mark Twain once said, "Our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." We done God proud.

O Ceallaigh said...

CHIMPANZEE, n. A member of the family of Great Apes, often disgruntled; one that might chomp on your hand and make you feel like a chump. Which is also how Jane Goodall will make you feel if you don't champion the chimp.

Jenna Howard said...

I have a feeling I will be seeing quite a few of these tomorrow night when I'm shaking my boogaloo. They'll be the ones hitting on my married friend.

Hm. I have the sudden urge to go to the zoo this afternoon.

dddragon said...

I wondered if you had seen that article about human/chimp relations when I saw what today's word was ...

Chimpanzee: the cuter actor in Bedtime for Bonzo

Kyahgirl said...

gosh, I'm having a hard time thinking of something nice to say, I've erased my comment three times. All I can think of is how good it is that the chimps bred with us and got some brains into our gene pool.

Anyway, I shall leave here, smiling at the visual of Jenna shaking her booty and several guys, with knuckles dragging, trying to keep up with her. Have fun you wild woman!

shayna said...

I’m a caterpillar
I’m a caterpillar
Crawling for your love
Crawling for your love
Crawling for your love,
For your love.

I’m a butterfly
I’m a butterfly
Flying for your love
Flying for your love
Flying for your love,
For your love.

Well, I’ll be anything that you want me to be.
Baby, I’d even would be climbing up your tree.

I’m a pterodactyl
I’m a pterodactyl
Dying for your love
Dying for your love
Dying for your love
For your love.

I’m an abominable snowman
I’m an abominable snowman
Calling for your love
Calling for your love
Calling for your love
For your love.

Well now baby, I’ll be anything that you want me to be,
Baby, a big monkey, a little monkey, a chimpanzee.

Oh now,
I’m a caterpillar
I’m a caterpillar
Falling for your love
Falling for your love
Falling for your love
For your love.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh my! Chimpanzee... the inner bohemian that dares shows its face after one too many vodka and lemons in a bar in Madrid oh so many lifetimes ago...

Doug said...

Well, that's what I was thinking, TLP, that women are superior creatures descended not from chimps but from shrews.

Indie, I hadn't seen that. This is a fortunate day for me. For us all.

Sar, I feel sorry for Spanky, too.

TLP, Indie's been trawling computers for evidence all day.

Mo'a, thank you for extending our knowledge of Icelandic flora. Speaking of, where's Minka?

Eep, eep, Brian

Still Life, is Incurious George from Maureen Dowd? Sounds like her. On a side not, you're posting soon, right?

Manchego, that would explain the dog.

O Ceallaigh, if only algae could poke you with a stick we'd probably all be driving hybrids.

Go, Jenna. It's good practice.

Dddragon, I hadn't. I must be on a wavelength with thos who study interspecies sexual relations.

Kyahgirl, this is the first time I've felt monkey-deficient.

Shayna, so good to have you back. Any song that works in the abominable snowman and a pterydactyl is alright with me.

Miz B, how many is one too many?

The Village Idiot said...

Chimpanzee: A monkey that lost its tail confusing biologists to no end....

ariel said...

yeah, TLP, deep in their hearts men are sure we are from another planet.

pia said...

I missed "firtation?" I could be called a chimp

brian said...

I have been trying to think of something witty all morning.

Chimpanzee: The Blues Brothers.
CHI-cago
M-etro
P-olice
A-rrest
N-ear
Z-oo
E-scaped
E-lwood

That's all I got today. I posted a J and R meme.

Y'all have a good weekend.

Miz BoheMia said...

I think it was 3 in a span of 30 minutes, downed, fast...

Oh my! Methinks I have said too much! Well, that's never stopped me before soooo... let's just say that a spectacle was made and many strangers recognized me on the street while I had no recollection of their existence.

Chimpanzee noises in the middle of a noisy bar in the heart of the flameco district of Madrid can do that to you... although I do wonder about that owner. I went to apologize a couple of days later, I did leave quite the mess in his women's bathroom I hear, and he offered me a drink!

Cowgirl said...

I have no clue what to say, although I don't think I have ever been called a chimp.

And now I am trying to picture Miz B in the bar...

O Ceallaigh said...

NEWS FLASH!!. Sesame Street announces new series of animations to teach the alphabet to young monkeys!

Chimp And A
Chimp And B
Chimp And C
...

Commonwealth-based websites are already said to be up in arms over yet another insidious attempt to Americanize the Queen's English ...

Kyahgirl said...

Big, big groan O'C, that is sooooo bad.

still life said...

Hey, is Maureen Dowd sampling my sarcasm? I was playing off of Curious George and The Man With The Yellow Hat -- the children's book.

And Yes, I was visiting much too early, sidetracked from responsibilty. PLEASE STOP CALLING ME!!!

Mutha said...

When they remade "Planet of the Apes", I remembered an interview with the director in which he said (according to animal behaviorists, or maybe something he just made up) that gorillas got the bad rap and that it was actually chimps that were the ones to fear. He claimed they could not only be agressive, but have the intellectual capacity to pull off some serious retaliation. My thought: well...wouldn't you if people dressed you up in a diaper and made you wear roller skates?

Doug said...

Idiot, that could describe any of us.

Ariel, we must be right if you think our hearts are deep.

It's ok, Pia, we'll call you a flirt instead.

Brian, I'm pretty sure the first thing that popped into your mind was up to our standards.

Miz B, I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as too much information in your case. My shock is well-calloused.

Cowgirl, if you can imagine that you'll have done enough. I can't look. OOOOWWEEEEE BOHEMIANS LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE DRUNKEN GYPSIES!!!!

O Ceallaigh, I agree with Kyahgirl. That was beneath you, but it's Friday. Have a great weekend.

Oh, I don't know Still Life, she loves to call him incurious or did when I could still read her for free. As far as I'm concerned you coined it and are due a respectful nod. And probably indulgence about posting, but I miss your poetry.

And when you get down to it, Mutha, who understands the simian mind better than a hollywood director.

O Ceallaigh said...

mutha, that director spoke sooth. Gorillas do have various sins on their consciences, such as infanticide, but they're almost entirely vegetarian, and their societies tend to be arranged in low-aggression family groups. The chimp, however, is a meat-eater and hunts in packs - in other words, it has a higher-order social structure, with all the things (like reward and punishment) implicit in such a structure.

Rio said...

i once pretended to be a chimpanzee amoung my friend's kitchen cabinets. my impression is uncanny, but you'll have to take my word for it

Jake said...

"Well of course we're going to throw poo at them!" (Chimpanzee to friend about us humans)

The Village Idiot said...

Doug. You picked up my point...perfectly

;)

Jenna Howard said...

Geez I love a guy who quotes Madagascar, Jake. Unfortunately my friend's two year old's eyes got all twinkly and I pointed my finger at him and say "Don't even think about it, bud." I was very concerned about the state of my friend's house when they returned from their weekend away so I never turned my back on him.

My trip to the zoo was called on the account of massive napping. I woke up with The Unicorn song in my head with all this talk of chimps:

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorns

Minka said...

ook?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

We've all heard that a million chimpanzees banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet and Doug's blog, we know this is not true.

Oh, Jenna, thanks so much for the ear worm. I needed that. NOT.

Cowgirl said...

We've all heard that a million chimpanzees banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet and Doug's blog, we know this is not true.

HA HA TLP. LMAO

Ok, now I am off to see if downing 3 in 30 will make me chimp like...

shayna said...

It saddens me that you do not recognize the late and great Janice Joplin... ;(

what are we a bunch of chimpanzee’s down on our knees begging please... please...please forgive Miz Jop-lin!

Sorry... I'm a little delirious from all the drugs I'm taken... :)
Hey... i think I spelled everything okay...

Jake said...

jenna- oooh oooh ah ah! that's me singing the unicorn song in chimpish.

i love a girl who can actually refresh my memory as to which animated film it was... however, you weren't clear on the 2yo ... is he a chimpanzee? or was he simply threatening such behavior? either way he deserves a banana.

Jenna Howard said...

Oooh a serenade. Chimpeze, English...it's all good. (fans self)

If he eats a banana I'll be surprised.

TLP - glad I could plant the song (laughs evilly)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

I used to play the chimpanzees in the high school band...you know, some people call them the kettledrums.

karma said...

nice to see everyone's swingin here

Doug said...

O Ceallaigh, whether or not infanticide is a sin is pretty subjective, isn't it?

Rio, there's no film?

Jake, seems natural as drawing the next breath.

Sure, Idiot, but O Ceallaigh seems to stick from tool, doesn't he?

So how was the nap, Jenna?

Minka, I thought you were going to stop flirting.

TLP, I just need more monkeys.

Cowgirl, my wager is it makes everyone else more chimpy.

Oh, Shayna, it saddens me too. Must be the half moon.

Bananas for everybody Jake. I'm buyin'

Jenna, I suspect you're being naughty. You are aren't you?

Poobah, I always called them chimpanzees.

AP3 said...

Personally, I prefer Sea Monkeys.

Jenna Howard said...

Doug...always naughty. Always. That's why I'm in the naughty aunt section.

Miz BoheMia said...

Cowgirl... after you down 3 in 30 you need someone to bark like a dog first... apparently the barking is essential in order to unleash your inner chimpanzee... then you must shriek chimp style at the top of your lungs until everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in the bar has eyes only set on YOU. Then you move on to the bathroom where you will let it all out while your flamenco dancer of a friend holds your hair back while holding back the fat lady who keeps banging at the door... I will spare you the trip home. I figure that'll get you started.

Good times!

Cowgirl said...

Miz B, I will have to go with your advice for tonight, as I was not successful last night in my attempt to unleash my inner chimpanzee.

Although I do not have any flamenco dancer friends...will one that clogs do?

ginah said...

I am the apeman
I am the apeman
I am the Walrus...

weirsdo said...

Tx Mr. Dog that was real informitive!!!! I all way's like to lern about rellative's!!

Doug said...

Wow, I've been a bad host. If anyone is still checking:

Aral, Sea monkeys have always frustrated me. Love monkeys are the worst.

Jenna, I was pretty sure I had you placed right.

Miz B, couldn't you have told her sooner?

Cowgirl, a clogger will probably help with your inna gorilla.

Hahaha, Ginah

Pansi, and it's always nice for me to meet them.