Monday, May 22, 2006

Ubiquity

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only. This important distinction between ubiquity and omnipresence was not clear to the mediaeval Church and there was much bloodshed about it. Certain Lutherans, who affirmed the presence everywhere of Christ's body were known as Ubiquitarians. For this error they were doubtless damned, for Christ's body is present only in the eucharist, though that sacrament may be performed in more than one place simultaneously. In recent times ubiquity has not always been understood — not even by Sir Boyle Roche, for example, who held that a man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird.

2006 Update: The availability of Cialis at half-off the normal price.

51 comments:

Minka said...

ERSTE!!!

shayna said...

Don't have lyrics today because frankly I couldn't think of any... but did you know there is a Ubiquity Records. Records artist in the Jazz, Funk, Jungle and etc type of music... Just thought I'd spread my knowledge of Ubiquity with you. :)

Minka said...

Wow, that took my a while! But I really like your update. I have a pronunciation guide and I typed omnipotent...it really does sound like "I am imp...."! And that is where Cialis comes into it! *applause*

Lammy said...

At half price you only get a smile instead of a grin.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Great definition Doug. And Minka, I love it. Actually Lammy, you're right on the mark too.

Ubiquity, n., This was once commercials for feminine hygiene products. But of course, as Doug points out, (that was not a pun BTW) it is now ED ads.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Wait! I'm being nice to everyone! That's not right! Can I start over and be a harpy? Actually, it's not my fault if everyone is smart this morning, is it?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Okay. It was a pun. Sorry. NOT.

O Ceallaigh said...

Hoo-hah, Doug! Priceless! But isn't that CiIaHlliyssz?

UBIQUITY, n. Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam .... Oh, sorry, that's redundancy. Like what my employers are considering applying to me. It's also lame.

I do not need Cialis. Just a reason for it. Maybe Shayna will call up One broken heart for sale for me if I send her a get-well card.

karma said...

yaddayaddayaddayaddayaddayadda

good one, lammy!

zvdojkb: Jacob does voodoo in his sleep

Kyahgirl said...

I had to go Google Cialis before I could make a comment. A girl gets such an education through this blog Doug. Thanks.

I have zero wit this morning so will just sit back and enjoy the Minka and TLP show then go clear up some of the ubiquitous weeds in my flower beds!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Doug,
Glad you cleared up that whole omnipresence thing. I get a lot of questions about that.

Mutha said...

"a man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird."

I've been thinking a lot about e.e. cummings lately and I can't help but hear that as one of his lines.

The definition I found of ubiquitous that I like is "inescapable."
I agree Kyah, a girl can get a real education around here.

Jenna Howard said...

The gift or power of being in all places at one time

This is my nephew when I'm distracted long enough to warm up his bottle. One minute he's in the living room, playing with a toy and the next *poof* - gone. And then there is much running around to find the little guy before he gets into serious trouble. He's good at finding trouble. We're soulmates this way.

I'm tired just remembering trying to find him. I'm going back to bed. Huzzah for long weekends!

Doug said...

Minka, wie immer!

Shayna, I am a wiser man, thank you. I did not know that.

Minka, vielen dank. Cialis comes into it through my inbox where I get offers for cheap cialis, breast augmentation and ocean cruises. If it were a package deal, I'd have to think about it.

Very good, Lammy!

Ubiquitous TLP, it's a pun worthy of a Harpy, well done.

Too funny, O Ceallaigh. I'm sure our little blue pill, Jenna, will be along to assist soon.

Karma, that Jakob!

Kyahgirl, as Peter Sagal (SIC?) once said, we who stand around making jokes also serve.

I bet you do, Poobah. And Omnitpotence probably gets a lot of inquiries as well, I reckon.

You're right, Mutha, that does read like Cummings. Iambs and all.

mireille said...

Such a gratifying thought that so many men are "getting back in the game." I've always wondered what "the game" is. heh. And the ubiquitously dangerous four-hour whatever, after which you should contact the doctor. If you have the strength. heh. xoxo

Cowgirl said...

Doug, your definition was funny no matter what place I am in.

My ubiquity has me pulled between work, blogs, and the coffee maker...and the coffee maker demands my attention.

Doug said...

I was righter than I knew, Jenna. Kids are ubiquitous individually and as a swarm.

Mireille that warning always makes wonder how hot the doctor must be.

Cowgirl, the coffee-maker is never forgotten, never forsaken.

O Ceallaigh said...

Since we're all into education today ...

The luminiferous ether is the substance that was once thought to carry light waves - as everyone knows that waves can't exist on their own, they need to be in something, like water.

We now know that the luminiferous ether does not exist. Leaving God as the only remaining entity in the Universe with omnipresence. And since the existence of God is questionable, and perhaps not desirable, a cloud hangs over the future of omnipresence. If the Poobah suddenly vanishes, you'll know what happened.

Mutha said...

O C: your post reminds me of my son's recent assertion during a Museum of Science presentation. When the presenter asked, "What is at the edge of the universe?" my son answered, "God."
Having never been fed this answer, I was impressed with his sense of scale.
When the next kid answered, "Nothing," my child blanched and asked to leave. To avoid nightmares that night, I told him that little boy had a different kind of imagination.

ginah said...

I see I was on top of you at Pia's the other day - no, I promise I will not start that again! Here your blog is giving us an education and I had to reduce it to the gutter! Imagine, like Kyah, when I googled Cialis - my - ooh, I was expecting some ancient reference to something sacred and as it turned out, I was right.

The Village Idiot said...

Ubiquitous -- Seeming to be at all places at one time.

The Internet -- Seeming to be at all places at one time

Al Gore -- Inventor of the Internet

Ubiquitous -- Omnipresent -- Al Gore

We are haunted by the Ubiquitous Spirit of Al Gore as we type here

Jenna Howard said...

I'm a little blue pill? Sweet!

O Ceallaigh said...

mutha, I guess I'd better spare your son the story of the Big Bang - where, in the beginning, the universe was no bigger than the dot at the end of this sentence. Everything was in that dot. Don't even think about there being a box to hold the dot. The dot was all there was. Our daughters said "Brain cramp!" There are no pictures for this. Only mathematics can describe it (imperfectly).

ginah, may the Asherahs be with you.

Jenna, you are the reason for the little blue pill. Or at least your avatar is.

Please forgive the intrusion, Doug, I'm practicing my ubiquity.

Jamie Dawn said...

I wonder of there are any little kids named Cialis? I bet there are. Poor little things with stupid parents.

LOVE your definition!

The Village Idiot cracked me up today. If Al Gore is lurking around in spirit, then I am going to freak out!

Ubiquitous: The longing for dark chocolate truffles.

The Village Idiot said...

but but but...what was before the ubiquitous dot O'cea?

rdlin -ritalin...is blogger trying to tell me something?

ginah said...

Now that's a good one o ceallaigh -did you know I was a Jewish mother or was that a random match? Either way - thanks. Also, as my 8 year old daughter weighs things divine that just don't add up in her little mathematical mind, I'll stear her your way!

pia said...

Ubiquity has always been one of my favorite words because it's so ubiquitous

Oh, no I can't be a Ubiqutarian because of religious and ideoligical differences, so Doug can you please redfine Ubiqutarian? Somebody who worships the obtuse would do--would say esoteric, but that's why I hate most male screen names and am so glad yours is the dawg. Oh right, it's not

O Ceallaigh said...

VI - think "phone booth stuffing". And absolutely everybody racing to get in. Actually, they weren't racing, they were being sucked in willy nilly. Any idea just how much gravity a dot with the mass of the universe would have? You ain't swimmin' against that tide. Space itself has no chance.

ginah - I knew. You told us about the Jewish mother thing. Unless you're fibbing.

ginah said...

Now would I fib about a thing like that? I only fib to my kids about what time it is to try to get them into bed earlier. I have tossed out my Irish lineage on these pages to help define whinge - so some people may scratch their heads - didn't she just say...? Ah, but that's a story for another day - or perhaps my own blog.

Doug, don't worry, oceallaigh and I have it under control.

Cowgirl said...

lmao pia.

Doug, the coffee maker never will be forgotten as long as I see the need for my ubiquity in the area. Bet that out lives several coffee makers.

Ginah, you so need your own blog so you can become truly ubiquitous.

ginah said...

Don't I know it Cowgirl - so many places to be - so little time...but oh, what fun!

The Gnat's Trumpet said...

A ladder in the road at rush hour.

* this is an inside joke for residents of Atlanta, if any of you are out there (or former residents). Remember Keith Kalland and his traffic reports?

The Village Idiot said...

Oceallaigh ~ I realize that the event horizion for all the mass of the universe condensed down into a dot the size of a helvetica 12 point period would be for all intents and purposes infinitely close to the dot. Can you say that is one hard sucking phonebooth?

I was wondering what happened to create that matter in the first place? Or did it always exist?

Doug said...

O Ceallaigh, you mean his ethernet's down?

Mutha, I'm impressed with both boys.

Ginah, the gutter's a fine and private place.

V.I., have you seen the South Park episode with Gore and Manbearpig? Funniest one is many seasons.

Jenna, I knew as soon as I typed that it was a perfect moniker for you.

O Ceallaigh, I think you've perfected ubiquity. How about working on laity? What's an Asherah?

Jamie Dawn, I think the baby daughter of a man over 50 ought to be named "Cialis." The boys should be called "Placebo."

Do you hear it, V.I.? How about now? Now?

Ginah, you may want to count to 10 first.

Pia, a Ubiquitarian is someone who eats only whatever's around. e.g. me. Or someone who eats only the eucharist. See Katherine of Siena.

O Ceallaigh, how many angels?

Good to hear, Ginah. Please proceed.

Amen, Cowgirl.

Well, Ginah, it is free.

Captain Keith, Gnat? That takes me back! Has he gone to the big eye in the sky?

Good grief, V.I. Just gotta get that propeller-beanie back, don't you?

Jamie Dawn said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm Mr. Ubiquitous, and these are my kids:

Vi and ED.

Little Viagra came along just about a year after ED.
ED was a real surprise, and frankly I don't know how he managed to get here. But with Vi, well, let's just say she was no surprise at all.

The Village Idiot said...

Some days it is worse than others Doug...today..seems to be a bad day!!
:D

O Ceallaigh said...

Ah Doug, be careful what you request of me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asherah

In the plural, standing sacred poles (phalli?).

I'm a scientist. I don't do angels. But I reckon even they would have a hard time with black holes. Pinhead-sized or otherwise.

VI: Brain cramp!! :)

tsduff said...

Man alive, this place is adrip with ubiquitous wit. Just floating through thank you. I always wondered what those cialis ads were about... now there is no doubt.

cooper said...

Of course you are the king of UBIQUITY, but because I had to look up Cialis ...................it wasn't for me what it may have been for others. I can only think of the theory of- decompression at it's finest.

ginah said...

Doug ~ As always, cogent replies abound - not necessarily my experience at a school board meeting this evening.

ginah said...

LOL - o ceallaigh's definition was a little different than the one I obtained which was something along the lines of semitic goddess. Oy! And so I was responding... well, as Emily Littela (sp) would say, "never mind."

actonbell said...

Oh! I almost missed this word. My HS Latin teacher will probably never know that my car is the Ubique. Can you imagine that no one else wanted that vanity plate? Actually, it was inspired by Ubik, by PK Dick.

I could be everywhere, and I'd still be nowhere! Leave it to me:)

Doug said...

Ms. Ubiquitous, 30 minutes warning at least, right?

Idiot, I understand but you brain-cramped O Ceallaigh, I say you get the propellor back.

Thanks, O Ceallaigh. I'll get right on that assignment.

TS, float past anytime. Plenty of carrion.

Alice, that theory is extremely relevant or so I've heard.

Well Ginah, semitic goddess, phallus there must be a connection. Hey, you know who we should ask?

Actonbell, you're home! We felt your presence even during the second act of Spamalot. Good book? The only one I've read is Through a Scanner Darkly and it was OK.

Indeterminacy said...

Ubiquity: A new line of wireless webcams that you can put just about anywhere.

Kyahgirl said...

Indie's definition could lead to a ubiquity of iniquity.

Lammy said...

I think that this is a fake blog and you are really Indie of Indeterminacy and you are writing all those comments yourself! Just my conspiracy theory.

Doug said...

Um, Indie? By anywhere...

Kyahgirl, even more? It seems I can barely buy a subscription anywhere without my morals being offended.

Lammy, if I were Indie this site would be more lyrical and smart. Instead, we're both idiots.

ginah said...

You're right Doug, I am sure she could clear it up for us immediately!

Doug said...

Ginah, you gonna ask or should I?

ginah said...

I think you have a nice weigh with words.

Miz BoheMia said...

Huh! So does my absence make me ubiquitous or not? Because I can visit all my fave blogs and appear to be everywhere at one point but alas, at all times, no...

Ooooweee! I think I am ubiquitous!

As a point of reference with regards to this present comment by Miz BoheMia, see Selfish...

mclue- Um... get a clue!

Hell yeah! Blogga knows a sistah!