Thursday, January 10, 2008

Despatches

DESPATCHES, [SIC] n.  A complete account of all the murders, outrages and other disgusting crimes which take place everywhere, disseminated daily by an Associated Press for the amelioration of the world in general.

2008 Update:  DISPATCHES, n.pl.  Embers of indignity, spit from calamitous communities ablaze and nurtured in the cool hearths of the uninvolved.

20 comments:

puppybrose said...

hope i don't find myself despatched for being first. ; )

puppybrose said...

and PS -- that's some update, Curmudgeon... and, by "some" i mean, of course, darkly impressive.

TLP said...

What quilts are made of.

Nessa said...

Your update is burning hot, Doug, like the fires of Hell.

Mo'a said...

Wll I won't go there.

Mo'a said...

That was...well I won't go there.

pia said...

I can't help it. I like TLP's definition

I'm using my middle name Tani in my new blog secret life of doormen where I bring burning dispatches (guess thats an oxymoron) about my life as a person about to lose all sanity

I should have sold my apartment "as is" but no...

Kyahgirl said...

your update cannot be improved upon unless of course we can find a way to meld despicable in there.

Jamie Dawn said...

Despatches, Dispatches
Tomayto, Tomahto
Potayto, Potahto
Vase, Vahze
Loy-yer, Lawyer
Peecan, Picahn
Ammonds, Almonds

That's all I have to dispatch at the moment.
I'm sorry I missed out on yesterday's poem.
Pollsters should find new jobs, me thinks.

quilly said...

DESPATCHES on the seat of des pants.

actonbell said...

Thick or thin envelope?

Mutha said...

It makes me miss my doll Patches McGee.
*sniff*
Thanks Doug...

Doug said...

Thanks, Neva. I try for dark mediocrity and sometimes overshoot.

Despatch and dat one, TLP?

Nessa, I swear you've changed your meds.

To hell, Mo'a? I expect not.

Pia, feel free to leave that link in this space.

Kyah, there's always room for despicable. as in DISPATCHES, n. pl. Speculations by the venal regarding the despicable for the illumination of the dim.

JD, don't forget Hick, Heeyick or Possum, pot roast.

Quilly, that's how we wear 'em in Des Moines.

Depends on the reader, A-bell.

Mutha, we all need a good cry now and then.

Minka said...

despatches... alphabet soup

Sal Banana said...

Dispatches: v., 3rd p. singular: Gets rid of quietly.

Cooper said...

I'm not fond of blinding light so dark mediocrity is definitely better for me, and no one does it better than you....



This word, after watching the news of the four "dead for some time" children found in a home in DC, the hiker decapitated in Georgia, and the kids who may or may not have been thrown thrown off a bridge to their death by their fathe in Alabama,,,is quite timely.

Doug said...

From another bowl, Minka? While we're on the topic, is Icelandic alphabet soup spaghetti?

Sal, you know the business.

Good grief, Cooper. I only heard about the hiker. Funny that I'd make this joke today when I'm clearly not paying attention.

Kyahgirl said...

you have a rare talent my friend :-)
thanks for incorporating despicable. I feel much better now.

Minka said...

I thought it was a smart reply...you take a lot of ingredients, snipets of information...cook them up, add spices and serve a dish of your own fabrication.

tsduff said...

we don't need no stinking dispatches...