Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Exit Polling

Every time my people vote,
On T.V. they make a note
Of the results and then continue
To why we vote the way we do.

They ask us for our age and gender,
And put the data in a blender
With our race and our religion
To extrapolate our indecision.

The gathered and the tallied choices
Are drowned out by the droning voices
Of experts on the many blocs
That merge to fill the ballot box.

The dead may rise with votes to cast
And chads might hang on 'til the last
But fraud and error are less germane
Than commentary, as they'll explain.

It seems like too much work to me,
articulate democracy.
What guides us there, behind the curtain?
Naught worth reporting, that seems certain.


EXIT POLL, n. A political post-mortem prediction.

20 comments:

Minka said...

New Hampshire got the best of you?
Question, where will you be on February 5th? I thought so :)

I Dive At Night said...

Exit Pole? As in battery operated and illegal in Georgia?

(OMG did he just say that?)

Tom & Icy said...

There was even a guy standing there asking questions as people came out of the rest room stalls.

actonbell said...

I had to really think before I got I got that battery operated joke.

Great poem, Doug.

Nessa said...

I have an exit poll for you. It's a sharp stick for a poke.

Are your bees sea sick?

pia said...

Wonderful poem

Shouldn't exit polls be banned. Seriously. We don't know if ballots are honest--at least...I don't know how to get to where I was going as I'm considering if a jury will be sympathetic if I commit a certain murder

I might move by the time I'm eligible for Social Security--maybe

quilly said...

EXIT POLES do they still use them in fire houses?

Doug said...

Minka, exactly.

Morgan, you're thinking of Alabama. Atlanta, Georgia is the Sodom of the South. One of 'em, anyway

Icy, did he have a wide stance?

Thanks, A-bell. You less refined employed.

Water on the knessa.

Pia, I think the secret is rather than murder, call it, maybe, population-based rightsizing. That's what I usually do.

You bet, Quilly. I'm sure. And puns.

Kyahgirl said...

Excellent poem-says it all really.

ariel said...

You are so smart. Democracy is dangerous, it has killed the Greek City States.

Nessa said...

Did you sneeze on me, Doug?

TLP said...

Is exit poll what they call the off ramps in NH? Or is it the stick they use to get people off the stage?

puppybrose said...

Exit Poll: essential equipment for political fishing expeditions.

truly inspired verse today, Curmudgeon. well done! : )

Doug said...

Thanks, Kyah.

Yes, Ariel and struck Hungary from dominating Europe. How many tragedies are enough?

Nessa, blessa.

TLP, it's always a stick. I think Winston Churchill said politicians use statistics as drunks use lightposts, for support rather than illumination.

Thanks, Puppy. It's all about the rods and reals.

tsduff said...

Elections give me a headache. But your poem shines.

The OE said...

Exit Poll: Statistical analysis of questions asked while sitting on the loo

Cooper said...

Too good for comment though I have visions of people standing outside
the polls, with long poles, which they use to samck the butts of those who refuse to answer their questions.

Doug said...

Terry, do shiny things give you a headache?

OE, is that how secret agents vote?

Cooper, don't taze me, sis!

tsduff said...

Corvids adore shiny things, and sparklies.

Doug said...

I knew that about magpies, Terry. I didn't know it was family-wide.