Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Wedding
WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
2009 Update: A festival to celebrate two people agreeing to reject promiscuity for adultery.
Wedding, the way of destroying a bride's family in 3 months, making her father emigrate, her mother age 10 years, and herself be prisoned for killing her younger sisters.
Wedding: A ceremony where the groom can never be perfect no matter how nice the wedding turned out to be. That is a 'leading indicator' of the state of wedded bliss economy to come. ..
Hi again Karen. We pretty much have this place to ourselves.
You weren't unclear. We're just yakkin' here. Well, I'm unclear about whether I proposed to you or to Doug, but hey, it's all good. I can't get married anyway. I'm just a tease.
Ariel, that sounds like a fair description of the project. In fact, a stranger's wedding in which I was not involved got me to write Shahrazade's Wedding.
Nessa, I'm sure that's right and it proves men walk the aisle only when they can no longer run.
Jim, there's nothing more flawed than a perfect groom.
Karen, the thief must have seen a wedding at some point.
Note even core obligations, I don't think, Amoeba. Not that I know what you're talking about.
TLP, that's the part that should really be explained in advance.
Karen, I like TLP's husband. Although since marriages are often temporary, I suppose divorces could be as well.
Quilly, is that "knot" a running bowline by any chance?
Karen, usually less ceremonial than the tying.
TLP, I don't blame Jim for not answering. We all get quiet when we're not sure what the question is.
Karen, I never thought six posts per week was promiscuous.
TLP, as long as you're just a tease you can safely propose to anyone you like, except maybe Niks.
I dunno, Icy but I suspect not. I think "wedding" is related to the norse deity Wotanger.
That all sounds true, Karen, but I'm not privy to know.
Ariel, a claw is a hand that's been asked for and gotten.
22 comments:
Wedding, the way of destroying a bride's family in 3 months, making her father emigrate, her mother age 10 years, and herself be prisoned for killing her younger sisters.
Wedding: the vehicle by which the pushing (from behind) is begun to make a man something useful.
Wedding: A ceremony where the groom can never be perfect no matter how nice the wedding turned out to be. That is a 'leading indicator' of the state of wedded bliss economy to come.
..
I adore a good adultery festival!
(The Thief is very dramatic this morning. She's perfected the genre)
WEDDING, n. Ceremony marking the transformation of fringe benefits into obligations.
A wedding is one thing. A marriage is another.
A wedding is what happens to people without enough sense to elope.
This is hilarious!
TLP, don't you know what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas?
Hilarity continued ...
And speaking of Elvis chapels in Las Vegas, one of us has to get a Divorce first ...
Karen -- did you just propose to Doug?
Wedding -- ceremonial knot tying
Quilly -- No. TLP did.
Divorce -- ceremonial knot-untying.
I'll have one of what Karen is drinkin'.
And notice how quiet she is today? What's up the that? Such a quiet woman. Never says a word.
I mean, she writes, but she is quiet, don't you think so Jim? Women can be quiet, huh, Jim? A woman of few (uttered) words.
Hey Karen, howya doin'?
Indeed.
Ambrose is a bitter pill to swallow.
I wish you all well.
p.s. Perhaps I was unclear. Doug's known I've been married for quite some time. I reckon a few of his posts have been more than promiscuous.
I'm in full agreement with Jim, to be sure ... a 'leading indicator' of the state of wedded bliss economy to come.
Hi again Karen. We pretty much have this place to ourselves.
You weren't unclear. We're just yakkin' here. Well, I'm unclear about whether I proposed to you or to Doug, but hey, it's all good. I can't get married anyway. I'm just a tease.
I often wondered if wed-ding is somehow related to Wed-nesday (hump day)
Excuse me all. Not everyone is privy to private conversations which are indicators of trouble on the horizon.
I really don't have time for all of Dougy-dog's troubles. I hope that's clear to someone.
Oh all this talk about proposing here... would someone please ask for MY hand? TLP? Karen? Icy?
Ariel, that sounds like a fair description of the project. In fact, a stranger's wedding in which I was not involved got me to write Shahrazade's Wedding.
Nessa, I'm sure that's right and it proves men walk the aisle only when they can no longer run.
Jim, there's nothing more flawed than a perfect groom.
Karen, the thief must have seen a wedding at some point.
Note even core obligations, I don't think, Amoeba. Not that I know what you're talking about.
TLP, that's the part that should really be explained in advance.
Karen, I like TLP's husband. Although since marriages are often temporary, I suppose divorces could be as well.
Quilly, is that "knot" a running bowline by any chance?
Karen, usually less ceremonial than the tying.
TLP, I don't blame Jim for not answering. We all get quiet when we're not sure what the question is.
Karen, I never thought six posts per week was promiscuous.
TLP, as long as you're just a tease you can safely propose to anyone you like, except maybe Niks.
I dunno, Icy but I suspect not. I think "wedding" is related to the norse deity Wotanger.
That all sounds true, Karen, but I'm not privy to know.
Ariel, a claw is a hand that's been asked for and gotten.
Wedding is a strange word and not something I understand, but I am enjoying the banter of those who seem more familiar with the concept.
Cooper, I have to admit I had to translate the word into one I could define. I think it's like "dating a real lot."
Yay! Dating a real lot is way more fun than commenting on blogs!
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