A New New Jerusalem- with sincere apologies to William Blake

And did those hands in ancient times

Build domestic cars and bikes and toys?

Did ancient Magi give baby Jesu rhymes,

Assuring at his manger's side employ? 

And did the countenance divine,

Shine forth in a new dawn's glow,

To promise Cleveland industry

And poverty to Mexico?

Bring to me my forge of burning steel!

Bring to me rhetoric of exploitation!

Amend NAFTA and GATT! O fiery zeal!

Bring to me a chariot made in this nation!

I shall not cease disingenuity,

Nor confess effort as an option,

Until Jerusalem's built on the shores of Erie

And hiring becomes adoption!

UNEMPLOYMENT, n.  A temporary condition of eternal interest to the everlasting demagogue.

Namby-Pamby

NAMBY-PAMBY, adj.  Having the quality of magazine poetry.  (See FLUMMERY.)

2008 Update:  In the manner of a killer, caught without trousers.

And a happy birthday to Brer Mule.

Ah, and Ms. Jenn has another book out.  You can find it here.  Jenn's professional writing is highly recommended with the following exceptions: Children as well as the wholesome, godly, elect or elected, normal, patient, contagious, Governor of New York or anyone whose baby sister has the same first name as Ms. Howard and anyone whose computer is accessible to any of the preceding should exercise discretion.

Neighbor

NEIGHBOR, n.  One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

2008 Update:  The nearest sinner.

As long-time or fairly recent readers of this blog are aware, I consider blog spammers unlovable reprobates without hope of heaven.  However, one of the damned left a comment referring to a site somewhat on-topic and kind of cool so I am trying to make the time before he or she is consumed in the lake of fire gentle by bringing this to your attention.  Follow the link at your own risk but the Adam Smith Academy features electronic slideshows of classic stories.  They are currently on part III of a six part reading of Bierce's An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.

Shahrazade's Wedding, Part XIX

"The Beowulf of Wedding Planning" -Actonbell

Hear the Senator's story.



Oh, yeah. There's a new post at The Prattler.









Or, read the story Al Fresco.

Electricity

ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. It is the same thing as lightning, and its famous attempt to strike Dr. Franklin is one of the most picturesque incidents in that great and good man's career. The memory of Dr. Franklin is justly held in great reverence, particularly in France, where a waxen effigy of him was recently on exhibition, bearing the following touching account of his life and services to science:

"Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered."

Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of its economical application to some purposes is still unsettled, but experiment has already proved that it will propel a street car better than a gas jet and give more light than a horse.

2008 Update:  The substance of lightning and the soul of modern commerce.

Education

EDUCATION, n.  That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of of understanding.

2008 Update:  The daughter of the deities, Pomp and Pretense, and a popular consort at the dime-a-dance hall.  Coy muse to all who tout Kafka's Metamorphosis.

Caucus

I have known something of slaughter,

Of cow, pig, sheep and lamb;

Of goose from the air and trout from the water.

By coercion, pressure and stealth, man

Brings his food to the edge of his knife

To let the blood and harvest the meat.

From the blood of fellow creatures, life.

Making cold what brings him heat.

The cattle in the final feedlot,

The sheep outside the abattoir,

Forget the hay they finally need not

And resist the pastoral peace of the farm.

While the only meat that's elected and paid,

Turns its own neck to the butcher's blade.

CAUCUS, n.  The corralling of sheep for quadrennial fleecing.

Expediency

EXPEDIENCY, n.  The father of all the virtues.

2008 Update:  The backbone of a politician and the backside of a bureaucrat.

Epitaph

EPITAPH, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect. Following is a touching example:

Here lie the bones of Parson Platt,
Wise, pious, humble and all that,
Who showed us life as all should live it;
Let that be said — and God forgive it!

2008 Update:  The first marker, etched in stone, on the path to obscurity, the last being a statue made of bronze. 

Beloved husband, father, brother:
He'll be remembered like no other-
For honesty, wisdom, grace and vim-
'Til Wife, sister and son come lie with him.

Shahrazade's Wedding, Part XVIII

"The Beowulf of Wedding Planning" -Actonbell

Hear the story in the Maghreb.





Also, there is a new post in The Prattler.








Or, read it in Samarkand.

Tibbar Tibbar