Monday, October 31, 2005


vampiress_ghost_halloween_treat_md_clrGhost, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.

2005 Update: An entity beyond death, rich in spirit and poor in flesh. Halloween's congressperson.

Boo, y'all! Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Fauna, n. pl. A general name for the various beasts infesting any locality exclusive of domestic animals, traveling menageries and Democratic politicians.

2005 Update: A dietary alternative to virtue.

Happy birthday to two of my favorite blogbuddies, Aral Peppermint Patty Pez and Masil Q..

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Mommy The Moocher

Story #16 in which Jazz Great Cab Calloway makes and keeps time.
To hear the story, click with Cab:

Folks, here's the story 'bout Minnie The Moocher (in print.)

Today's story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On where Doo-Doo Man of The Pansi Files will tell his own story.

Tomorrow there will be a special Sunday edition to say Happy Birthday to two of my favorite people.

Friday, October 28, 2005


Intellectual, adj. Employed on the Bulletin, in the department of Art, Literature and Agriculture; residing in Boston; near-sighted.

2005 Update: Commited to public radio and the certainty that reason bears the force of angels.

In a perfect conicidence with today's post, Blocahalela of The Pansi Files has posted her Audiobiography on Doug Drones On.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Platonic, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

2005 Update: In the United States, featuring bonds of affection and baseball. Robust.

Left, Doug Pascover, Platonic Lover

The Chicago White Sox are World Champions!!! Thanks to the White Sox Organization and all my friends who rooted for them to win the series!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Special Guest Wednesday

This Wednesday it is my pleasure to feature Pia Savage who offers the following definition this week:

Picaresque, n. A bitter person.
Picaresque, adj. Someone behaving in a childlike pouting manner. Like they swallowed a lemon.

About Pia: Pia writes the elegant, popular and fascinating Courting Destiny, a site that features primarily vignettes from Pia's life in prose as much a carnival as a New York City girl's existence. With emotion, image and metaphor, Pia takes routes that only someone who knew the streets and subways could follow with a surprise waiting at every corner and station. At times, Pia chooses to write about politics from a generally leftish slant or television from the perspective of whichever bloc thinks James Spader is king. When I was getting to know Courting Destiny she had written a few political pieces which led, through the magic of the internet, to unrelenting illumination from some of the dimmer quarters of the blogosphere. Rather than be distracted from the central purpose of her site, Pia got together with some of her blog friends to found a collaborative left-leaning political site, Bring It On!. Pia and her friends and those who aren't her friends can bring their political controversies there, which keeps the conversation on Courting Destiny lively, constructive, honest and engaged mostly.

Pia herself has been a mentor to me in the development of Waking Ambrose. One of the most important things I learned from Pia is how valuable comments can be in building both the community and the content of a weblog. I believe, and I bet my long-time readers will agree, that what's written in the posts on this site isn't half as much fun as the conversations that follow. I credit Pia for the insight that allowed me to take full advantage of you, good readers, to that end.

How to be a Wednesday Guest: Email me at dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after putting up the current week guest post I'll email you a word to define and request your definition and a graphic representing either you or your definition by the following Saturday. No profanity, please.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Fog, n. A substance remaining after the last analysis of San Franciscan atmosphere- the sewer-gas, dust, cemetary effluvium, disease germs and other ingredients having been eliminated. Of these, however, dust is the chief; and as Mr. Edmund Yates, by combining the words "smoke" and "fog, gave to the London atmosphere the graphic name of "smog," we, in humble imitation but with inferior felicity, may confer upon our grumous environment the title of "dog."

2005 Update: Nature's talking point.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Benefactor, n. One who makes heavy purchases of ingratitude, without, however, materially affecting the price, which is still within the means of all.

2005 Update: A former beneficiary and future target.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Star Peak

Story #15, in which Doug's gas runs out but his luck holds steady.
To hear the story, climb Star Peak.

To read the story, follow me.

Today's story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On where Daisy of The Pansi Files tells her own story.

Friday, October 21, 2005


Duty, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Sir Lavender Portwine, in favor at court,
Was wroth at his master, who'd kissed Lady Port.
His anger provoked him to take the king's head,
But duty prevailed and he took the king's bread,
2005 Update: An alternative to Custom.

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Realism, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring worm.

2005 Update: A cynic's Shangri-La.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Special Guest Wednesday

Today, I'm honored to have Sreekesh Menon as this week's guest.

Sreekesh offers the following definition:

Business, n. The art of using two faces to accomplish one task.

About Sreekesh: Sreekesh Menon is a Project Manager for a large financial institution who writes poetry on his blog, A Little Insane, and records musings and amusing comments he hears on his less frequently updated site, The Business of life. I'm no judge of poetry but I admire his willingness to publish his and as far as I'm concerned it's very good. His ear is keen and he has a great sense of humor so the Business of Life site is fun.

Sreekesh is also one of the rare birds who began as a blogfriend and became a local, hang-out-with-sometimes friend. This Spring, he and another great and good online friend visited Los Angeles and I had the pleasure of meeting both. Since that time, Sreekesh moved from Dallas to Los Angeles and I had the privilege of attending his birthday party at a wanna-be redneck bar in Thousand Oaks, California. I'm here to tell you, he looks absolutely convincing in Cowboy boots and a black felt hat. I just know that any stagecoach trying to get down Highway 101 Friday night would have been in big trouble.

How to be a Wednesday Guest: Email me at dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after putting up the current week guest post I'll email you a word to define and request your definition and a graphic representing either you or your definition by the following Saturday. No profanity, please.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Hell, n. The residence of the late Dr. Noah Webster, dictionary-maker.

2005 Update: The reward awaiting one's neighbor for a life of meritorious faith.

Monday, October 17, 2005


Rural, adj. Mud, hogs, and badly cooked food.

2005 Update: Innocent from 30,000 feet above.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Night of the Frogmen

Story #14, in which Doug uses a title based on a fact he left out of the spoken version of his story, that his companion introduced himself as "Frogman."

To hear the story, point to the Frogmen.

To read the story, salute the first African-American President of The United States of America

Today's story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On.

Friday, October 14, 2005


Foundling, n. A child that has disembarrassed itself of parents unsuitable to its condition and prospects.

2005 Update: The product of ex vivo fertilization.

Friends, today I'm a pundit too. The fine folks at Bring It On! let me into their big tent. Not that I'm complaining, Pia, but I kind of thought I'd get to wear a hat or something.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Poetry, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

2005 Update: A mechanism for adding depth to the base. An alternative to the post-hole digger and shovel for when accuracy is unnecessary and a small tool will do.

Happy Birthday to Brer Sreekesh!

Hot Breath on a Red Neck

That darn Dddragon tagged my butt again. While I figure out how to block her IP address, here's my response to "say 20 things about yourself"

The words all apply to me somehow.

Four, adj. & n. The number of things there actually are about me. And the number of colleges I attended on the way to getting a bachelor's degree.
Ohio, n. The state in which I was born and spent the first and most productive ten months of my life.
Cuss, v.t. To express with irrelevancies the most urgent compulsions of the heart. I cuss a fair bit, just not here.
Misanthropic, adj. Gregarious toward stone, wind and beast.
Belly, n. The reservoir of accomplishment.
Scholarly, adj. Like, whatever.
Online, adj. Employed but not well.
Canine, n. Long in the tooth and quick with the tail.
Bible, n. A foundation of faith supporting the houses of heresy.
Lutheran, adj. Able to recite The Brief Order of Confession, Small Catechism and the Powdermilk Biscuits song.
Midwestern, adj. Able to judge corn by its silk and women by their denim.
Californian, adj. Eastwardly mobile.
Southern, adj. Precisely constructed of baling wire, barbed wire and prayer. (as southern engineering)
Road, n. The home to the misplaced, displaced and ornery.
Multilingual, adj. Possessed by more than one tongue.
Sobreity, n. The outward expression of inner toxicity.
Gladly, adv. In the manner of someone who appreciates a cause but not its purpose.
Tonedeaf, adj. Only too happy to sing for you.
Executive, adj. Well-compensated for allowing the efforts of others.
Recalcitrant, adj. NO MORE TAGGING ME!!! I'M TELLING MOM!!! (but I'm flattered you thought of me)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Special Guest Wednesday

This week, I'm proud to welcome Peter Porcupine.

Peter offers the following definition of Supply-Side.

Supply Side, adj. Following an economic scheme to benefit the unfortunate by depending upon the squandering of the well-to-do.
Supply Side, n. A pejorative term applied to all tax cuts by liberals which may threaten their ability to spend such monies as they know better and best. See also, ‘wealthiest one percent’
Supply Sides, v. The action of inexpensive steam table and fast food restaurants consisting of an inexhaustible variety of slaws, potatoes, salads, and pudding.

“I defy you to Agitate any fellow with a full stomach.” – William Cobbett, Writing as Peter Porcupine, 1806.

About Peter Porcupine:
Peter Porcupine was the pseudonym of William Cobbet, a late 18th/early 19th century pamphleteer and double-exile with a knack for entangling himself in candor. Peter Porcupine is also the nom de geurre of a cumudgeonly commentator of the early 21st century blogosphere. The first Peter was an agrarian populist who criticized the democracy and politics of his adopted home, earning himself repatriation at haste. His Specter now serves a new form of retro-conservatism, which is to say, conservatism. The ghost reviews political developments at the national and very local levels, all with a gloriously jaundiced eye.

I enjoy the ghost Peter Porcupine and appreciate his politics. When libertarian, populist, small government conservatives still roamed the Earth, I numbered myself among them. The site makes me sentimental for the coldly rational conservatives of yore. The ghostblogger Peter writes elegantly in slightly archaic English that hearkens to the pamphlets of his predecessor. Obviously he does that much better than I do here. Peter's site is thoughtful and makes a good counterpoint to the considered leftish writing in Bread and Circuses by Andrew Donaldson, the guest here two weeks back.

How to be a future Wednesday Guest on Waking Ambrose: Please send me an email at dpascover at mac dot com and let me know that you're willing to write a definition for a future Wednesday guest post. The only rules are no profanity and a request that you return your definition by the following Saturday.

Happy Anniversary to Dddragon!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tagged by a Dddragon

OK, I do wish someone I'm not crazy about would tag me. I'd tell 'em what for.

Here it is:

Impunity, n. Fame.

Sorry, that's it.

If anyone wants to be tagged to post the fifth or last sentence of your 23rd post, go to Dddragon's site for rules.


Arrest, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh-- The Unauthorized Version.

2005 Update: To woo with authority.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Charity, n. An amiable quality of the heart which moves us to condone in others the sins and vices to which ourselves are addicted.

2005 Update: A means for maintaining in poverty those we resent in prosperity. According to the Apostle Paul. a superior quality to faith and hope. That which Joshua Bar Joseph has as action superior to reason. A temptation from sound labor policy in the denunciations of many a faithful minister.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Tackling History

Story #13, in which History gets a new name.
To hear the story, play monkey in the middle with the 1920s football team.

To read the story, admire my great Uncle "Hippo"

Today's story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On.

Friday, October 07, 2005


Scruple, n. A word that is falling into disuse as expressing an idea that no longer exists.

2005 Update: Such as discretion, forebearance, chastity, patience or solemnity, a principle that inhibits rogue bahavior or disguises it. The arm upon a saint or the sleeve on a politician.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Immigrant, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

2005 Update: A portable patriot.

Above, Enrique Bava naturalizes.

Feliz CompleaƱos, Papi Brujo!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

For The Lord God Omnipotent Reigneth-Special Guest Cleaning Supply

Yes, brothers and sister's, in humility and thanksgiving I announce the coming of the Soap. She writes:

Friends, first Doug wanted me to define patristics. I confess that I had to look the word up in my Compact Bible Dictionary to find that it means "The study of the lives, writings, and doctrines of the Church fathers." That seems like a bunch of university mumbo-jumbo to the Little Bar of Soap. Read the Bible (King James version) and all will be clear. The word patristics itself makes me think of fishsticks -- and that's just what I say to this term, "Fishsticks!"

Then Doug gave me a second choice, "fidelity". All any of you ever do is taunt and tease the Little Bar of Soap anyway, so I have nothing to lose by playing along. I will try to be clever, as Doug and his readers like to be, though it strikes me as sinful vanity to be so witty to no Christian purpose (see Pride, one of the Seven Deadly Sins).

Fidelity, n. 1. Fidelity Investments: for those who worship Mammon (see Greed and Envy, two more of the Seven Deadly Sins).
2. High Fidelity (HiFi): for those who listen to the Devil's music (see Anger and Sloth and Gluttony and Lust, the final four of the Seven Deadly Sins).
3. Faithfulness to one's Christian obligations and duties. Praise be to Jesus!

About The Little Bar of Soap.The Little Bar of Soap (Soapy) writes a very earnest site and is, frankly, brilliant at developing clever animations and audio visuals and pointing out wickedness to the wicked. Albert Schweitzer was a missionary among the poorest of the poor, Mother Theresa tended to the dying and Martin Luther risked his life to challenge the powerful. From their seats in heaven all three must gasp at Soapy's fortitude, a clanging cymbal of faith among the corrupt, reprehensible and out in blogworld.

Some of my readers have made great sport of the Little Bar of Soap, but I say to all of you that although the mountains shall crumble and the hills wear away, my love will not depart from her. She has gone into all the blogosphere to share the good news of Jesus and his love. Preparing the way of the Lord, she makes the crooked straight and the rough places plain, while not persecuting the bent, something we all appreciate. She sees the sparrow fall and I know she has her eyes on me. God bless you, Soapy.

How to be a Special Guest on Waking Ambrose: Please send me an email at dpascover at mac dot com and let me know that you're willing to write a definition for a future Wednesday guest post. The only rules are no profanity and a request that you return your definition by the following Saturday.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Sacrament, n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all -- for which mean economy they will indubitable be damned.

2005 Update: A crowbar the pious apply to the will of their diety.

Note: There is a special ALDS edition up on Doug Drones On

Monday, October 03, 2005


Creditor, n. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incusions.

2005 Update: A Trojan Horse built indoors.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


Flesh, n. The Second Person of the secular Trinity, the First and Third being the World and the Devil, respectively.

2005 Update: The food for spirit and endeavor, each of which shows noble restraint around Pascovers.

Right, Andrew Pascover with his Nephew, Stevie. Andy's children have never been photographed.

Happy Birthday, Monkey Man!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

A Quiet Man

Story #12, in which Dougie and his Pop-pop find adventure and reward.

To hear us jabber, follow the trail.

To read our adventures, open the comic book.

Today's story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On.

By the way, my brother's birthday is tomorrow, so there will be a special Sunday edition.