Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Drowsy
Drowsy, adj. Profoundly affected by a play adapted from the French.
2005 Update: One of the seven styles of driving, the others being drunk, outraged, on-the phone, goofy, dopey and doc.
Drowsy - to reverse said affects, seek healthy dose of caffine. Repeat as necessary. Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Light & Sweet works wonders and no known adverse side affects.
Funny, Tom. Don't leave out Icy the window bug-catcher.
Sar, you are very right. The longest relationship of my life ended soon after we moved to California and she couldn't get Dunkin Donuts coffee anymore.
Weirsdo, when I was driving to work this morning I saw a mom in the carpool lane turn all the way around at 30 MPH to take something away from a kid in the backseat of the minivan. I realized I'd left one out and wondered whether it would be you, Sar, or dddragon who would bring that up. Maybe replace goofy with maternal. Or maybe that isn't necessary.
I'm shocked at your sexism. Fathers are just as apt to attempt to discipline while driving as mothers. Admittedly, moms probably get stuck with more carpooling, but dads "take charge" and drive on summer vacations, so they are probably in evidence on the roads now.
Doug - I've been going through D&D withdrawl too. So far as I know there are only 2, count em, 2 in the state. Whereas in NJ they were everywhere. But don't worry, I won't be leaving you over it!
i should have listened to you, one of them read it, and for once in my life i told the truth (well after trying to lie) so he wants to tell the other one and its a whole mess, maybe i get a clean slate or something. i'll drop you a comment when i figure it all out, probably start a new blog no names this times, lesson for the day: listen when people warn you about things and then don't do them. thanks for everything, you were my most faithful reader.
Doug, our ol' South Pass house was all grey when we lived there, but otherwise it sounds right. Way to go!!
And actually, I think that there may be a Maternal and a Paternal way of driving:
MamaGonnaReach: after seeing what's going on with the eyes in the back of the head, mother is able to continue driving while reaching back and either grab the offending object or child, or to give a small whack on the body part within reach. If a MamaGonnaReach turns into a MamaGonnaPullover, you KNOW you're in BIG trouble.
PapaGonnaPullover: after hearing a commotion behind him, father yells a few times before finally pulling the van to the side of the road before turning around to take care of the problem. By then the kids have settled down enough to look innocent.
Dddragon, the roof was very distinctive, very tall and slanted parallel with the street with a big second story window set into it. If that sounds like your house, I'm sure I had the right one. Otherwise some strange house got soluted with your pseudonyms.
My personal experience (as a kid) sounds just like yours and I would have said something about but didn't want to upset Weisdo anymore than I had. This is sexist, but I have no faith that a father could have turned around in the driver's seat, grabbed an object and turned to face forward at 30 without killing the entire family.
22 comments:
And Snow White the back seat driver.
Drowsy - to reverse said affects, seek healthy dose of caffine. Repeat as necessary. Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Light & Sweet works wonders and no known adverse side affects.
Funny, Tom. Don't leave out Icy the window bug-catcher.
Sar, you are very right. The longest relationship of my life ended soon after we moved to California and she couldn't get Dunkin Donuts coffee anymore.
There's also the "managing" the kids driver, as in, "Cut it out or I'll give you a whack!"
Weirsdo, when I was driving to work this morning I saw a mom in the carpool lane turn all the way around at 30 MPH to take something away from a kid in the backseat of the minivan. I realized I'd left one out and wondered whether it would be you, Sar, or dddragon who would bring that up. Maybe replace goofy with maternal. Or maybe that isn't necessary.
Don't forget "driving while under the influence of cell phone."
I'm shocked at your sexism. Fathers are just as apt to attempt to discipline while driving as mothers. Admittedly, moms probably get stuck with more carpooling, but dads "take charge" and drive on summer vacations, so they are probably in evidence on the roads now.
Pat, welcome! I thought that was covered.
Shocked, Weirsdo? shocked? Fair enough, parental?
Drowsy, adj. A state in whichhh ttthe zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sorry. Nodded off. What did I miss?
)+(
I love Gabriel c. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzolman!
Doug - I've been going through D&D withdrawl too. So far as I know there are only 2, count em, 2 in the state. Whereas in NJ they were everywhere. But don't worry, I won't be leaving you over it!
(your comment made me lol, Gabe!)
Gabriel, see Sar's comment. Funny. Looks like you have couple fans.
Sar, we should re-invade. Thanks for sticking with me.
Actonbell, I think you nailed it. By the way, I left a comment on dddragon's site which might interest you.
i should have listened to you, one of them read it, and for once in my life i told the truth (well after trying to lie) so he wants to tell the other one and its a whole mess, maybe i get a clean slate or something. i'll drop you a comment when i figure it all out, probably start a new blog no names this times, lesson for the day: listen when people warn you about things and then don't do them. thanks for everything, you were my most faithful reader.
Former Andria, I'll email you.
That's a good one!
How true, how true!
Drowsy: My state since returning from Asia.
Nothing seems quite normal yet. It feels odd.
Thanks Aral!
Jamie Dawn, it's a long flight and no-one here has kimchi breath. Give yourself a few days to adjust.
Doug, our ol' South Pass house was all grey when we lived there, but otherwise it sounds right. Way to go!!
And actually, I think that there may be a Maternal and a Paternal way of driving:
MamaGonnaReach: after seeing what's going on with the eyes in the back of the head, mother is able to continue driving while reaching back and either grab the offending object or child, or to give a small whack on the body part within reach. If a MamaGonnaReach turns into a MamaGonnaPullover, you KNOW you're in BIG trouble.
PapaGonnaPullover: after hearing a commotion behind him, father yells a few times before finally pulling the van to the side of the road before turning around to take care of the problem. By then the kids have settled down enough to look innocent.
(just from my personal experience!)
No new definition yet today. Doug must be suffering from said affliction.
Happy Friday all! : )
Dddragon, the roof was very distinctive, very tall and slanted parallel with the street with a big second story window set into it. If that sounds like your house, I'm sure I had the right one. Otherwise some strange house got soluted with your pseudonyms.
My personal experience (as a kid) sounds just like yours and I would have said something about but didn't want to upset Weisdo anymore than I had. This is sexist, but I have no faith that a father could have turned around in the driver's seat, grabbed an object and turned to face forward at 30 without killing the entire family.
Happy Friday, Sar. Downside to blogging? You sleep until 5 one time and people three time zones later are calling you lazy!
Post a Comment