Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Overcharge
OVERCHARGE, v. To ask a higher price than you can get.
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the father says to! the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that . That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now!"
Overcharge: stressing one's advantage in the equation of supply and demand. Example of the sage observation that some things are "no bargain" at any price.
Minka, that is a good one. You funny, funny gal. All these definitions have been so good, definitely with Jodes on the gas, cost me nearly $10 to fill my tank the other day (motorcycle) I could hear the galloping of a highwayman in my head. If I am going to be overcharged I want to be at a spa with Sar, dang it, not at a smelly ole gas station. o'ceallaigh, I think overcharging is what occurs not when one abandons celebacy but when one attempts to engage in it.
Poor, poor Hildegard of Buggin' Must have thought she hit the jackpot getting a lesbian owner.
I've been meaning to ask you, Omnipotent Poobah, if you're the decider.
O Ceallaigh, I hear you. It's a slippery slope.
This morning, Mutha, Blogger was feeling overpriced.
Logo, that highwayman was in a hummer.
Village Idiot, I was looking forward to that one. I had an image this morning that must have come from a cartoon of a knight hanging from his (or her) lance from a tree.
logo ~ sorry to hear that you suffer so from headaches. take two tylenol and lay yourself down ... :)
jodes -
I tip my hat to the new constitution, Take a bow for the new revolution, Is my head green at the change all around? Pick up my guitar and play, Just like yesterday, And then I get on my knees and pray - We don't get fooled again.
doug - yeah, both of those. and this crack by a sometime carpenter about taking the 2x4 out of your own eye before reaching for the splinter in your neighbor's.
It seems like I cheered a lot of people up this Tuesday morning. Besides that I already gave two private German lessons and cleaned my entire room. How overcharged am I? Dont answer that!
Overcharge for excess baggage Know your concourse, know your gate Up this way sir, not that way sir, Airplane departs gate six eight Please sir may l see your ticket Fasten your seat belt, you can't smoke Beverage, anything you'd care for Sorry but we're out of cokeBoeing boeing 707 Going, going skywardly heavenly Higher than bluebirds fly Why then oh why can't l Destination de-plane slowly Do this, do that, l comply God bless orville, God bless wilbur It's the only way to fly Boeing boeing 707 Going, going skywardly heavenly Higher than bluebirds fly Why then oh why can't l Boeing boeing 707 Going, going skywardly heavenly Higher than bluebirds flyWhy then oh why can't l Boeing
Doug, That's the wonderful thing about being omnipotent. I can delegate all that decision stuff to one of my lowly serfs. Don't feel sorry for them though. I pay 'em well.
Doug, there are no mistakes in the spelling, the word formation is so different from mine and every teh is spelled "the". I couldn´t have made up that joke if my life depended on it!
41 comments:
overcharge, one form of flatulence
Hola Doug
To charge with conviction!
It's Dark in Here
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the father says to! the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that . That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now!"
Haha, Ariel. Nice wordplay.
Namaste, Sunil.
AAAAAAhahahahahaha, Minka! Hurray!
Overcharge, n., Left over energy. Like when you try relaxing, but you feel more comfortable tense.
Overcharge: An overlooked means to an end when it comes to new shoes or spa treatments for yours truly.
(lol, Minka!)
Minka that was hilarious!
Overcharge: what my hairdresser does and leaves all the split ends behind. Bah.
Gas, do I need to say more?
I have a pretty moving story on my blog today, check it out if you have a chance. If it effects you like it did me, send some friends.
:)
Yay minka-good laugh first thing :-)
charging over to jodes place to check out here story!
overcharge, v. To kill a battery with over-zealousness.
I have done this.
overcharge - Holding authority over a group of people. As in, "I'm overcharge of them dang generals." G.W.Bush, 2006
OVERCHARGE, v.
1. What happens on a football field after a victory, especially a big one.
2. What happens to anyone who abandons celibacy, any style, any reason. Thanks for the reminder, Minka. I think.
Very funny Minka.
Overcharge: stressing one's advantage in the equation of supply and demand. Example of the sage observation that some things are "no bargain" at any price.
Minka, that is a good one.
You funny, funny gal.
All these definitions have been so good, definitely with Jodes on the gas, cost me nearly $10 to fill my tank the other day (motorcycle) I could hear the galloping of a highwayman in my head.
If I am going to be overcharged I want to be at a spa with Sar, dang it, not at a smelly ole gas station.
o'ceallaigh, I think overcharging is what occurs not when one abandons celebacy but when one attempts to engage in it.
Overcharge, v. When a knight, tilting at the lists, misses his opponent.
"Praytell, what just happened?"
"It appears that Sir Ector has overcharged yet again"
TLP, that's almost everytime for me.
Sar, sounds like you get a fair price.
Bah, Jenna. Bah, indeed!
Jodes, I look forward to reading it.
*bugles,* Kyahgirl
Poor, poor Hildegard of Buggin' Must have thought she hit the jackpot getting a lesbian owner.
I've been meaning to ask you, Omnipotent Poobah, if you're the decider.
O Ceallaigh, I hear you. It's a slippery slope.
This morning, Mutha, Blogger was feeling overpriced.
Logo, that highwayman was in a hummer.
Village Idiot, I was looking forward to that one. I had an image this morning that must have come from a cartoon of a knight hanging from his (or her) lance from a tree.
Why, thank you Sir Doug. Now, if you would be so kind as to get me down out of this tree.....
logo ~ sorry to hear that you suffer so from headaches. take two tylenol and lay yourself down ... :)
jodes -
I tip my hat to the new constitution,
Take a bow for the new revolution,
Is my head green at the change all around?
Pick up my guitar and play,
Just like yesterday,
And then I get on my knees and pray -
We don't get fooled again.
Meet the new boss.
Same as the old boss.
- Pete Townshend
Too much caffeine in the morning, like Sar's picture on her post.
Haha, V.I. I'll bring the horse around.
O Ceallaigh, salty today, I see. High gas prices and global warming?
How much is too much, Lammy?
charging and leaving a tip jar
doug - yeah, both of those. and this crack by a sometime carpenter about taking the 2x4 out of your own eye before reaching for the splinter in your neighbor's.
Overcharge: offer black market prices in a free market economy (as in government contracts).
It seems like I cheered a lot of people up this Tuesday morning. Besides that I already gave two private German lessons and cleaned my entire room. How overcharged am I?
Dont answer that!
Masil, that is annoying. Especially because I always feel bad not leaving a dollar. I'm the victim here. Me.
O Ceallaigh, ours is a nation of motes.
Indie, yes!
Minka, you're a bargain at twice the price.
i'll say its a darn lot better than undercharging for coffee
hficfdu: hi 5 for caffeine, dude
Ariel: Yours made me laugh!!
Overcharge: A bull that misses its target.
minka minka minka- so good.
speeding tickets
Good point, Karma. Save us from ourselves. As always, brilliant use of the verifier.
Bulls do that, Jamie Dawn.
Yeah, Cooper. Isn't that the best joke you've seen in a long time?
Witty or ranty, Cowgirl, it's always a pleasure to see you.
Or speeding, Rio. The punishment fits the crime, poetically at least.
Overcharge... the European way of life!
Funny, funny Monika! I got that as an email a year ago and am laughin' still!
Sunil, that is one beautiful dog.
Overcharge for excess baggage
Know your concourse, know your gate
Up this way sir, not that way sir,
Airplane departs gate six eight
Please sir may l see your ticket
Fasten your seat belt, you can't smoke
Beverage, anything you'd care for
Sorry but we're out of cokeBoeing boeing 707
Going, going skywardly heavenly
Higher than bluebirds fly
Why then oh why can't l
Destination de-plane slowly
Do this, do that, l comply
God bless orville, God bless wilbur
It's the only way to fly
Boeing boeing 707
Going, going skywardly heavenly
Higher than bluebirds fly
Why then oh why can't l
Boeing boeing 707
Going, going skywardly heavenly
Higher than bluebirds flyWhy then oh why can't l
Boeing
Miz B, I sez Minka made it up.
That was nice, Ariel. He doesn't come by often. The link in my sidebar that says "Xanadu" is where you can tell him directly.
Perfidy, a4g!
Shayna, you sure know a lot of lyrics.
Actonbell, I'm sure it was concern for respectability. How did you just make the Flintstones sound refined?
Doug,
That's the wonderful thing about being omnipotent. I can delegate all that decision stuff to one of my lowly serfs. Don't feel sorry for them though. I pay 'em well.
overcharging: What Mr. Banana sometimes gets mad at me for doing, but I disagree cuz theres no such thing!!!!!
When a game of mounted "chicken" goes horribly wrong, and you wind up tramping your opponent underneath your horse's hooves.
doug -
I sez Minka made it up.
Google sez the current version started hitting the Internet in early 2005, with earlier variants dating back to 2001.
Amazing what you can find online these days.
So, ah, Poobah, whadda I do now?
Sissy, Mr. Bierce and I both agree with you.
Haha, Belinda. That is horribly wrong. Such an innocent avatar to go with such a terrible imagination.
O Ceallaigh, "sez" canotes a faith-based initiative. Maybe Minka made in up in 2001. Ever think of that, Prof?
Doug, there are no mistakes in the spelling, the word formation is so different from mine and every teh is spelled "the". I couldn´t have made up that joke if my life depended on it!
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