Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Club

Club, n. An association of men for purposes of drunkenness, gluttony, unholy hilarity, murder, sacriledge and the slandering of mothers, wives and sisters.

For this definition I am indebted to several estimable ladies who have the best means of information, their husbands being members of several clubs.

2007 Update: A gathering of the uncollected, meeting to exclude the absent.

31 comments:

Joel said...

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

Joel said...

...oh, and FIRST!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

club - A device, which when wielded correctly, can produce results.

quilly said...

club attitude adjuster

the flying amoeba said...

CLUB, n. In bridge (and in bureaucracy), the lowest ranking suit. So designated because it comes first in the alphabet (clubs, diamonds, hearts, spades). Who was it said something about the first being last ...? ;)

about to enter Security ...

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Club is the code name for S.A.C.A.D.A. and is my club the best club in the world. Secrit Agents Crusading Agenst Demolishun Agents but i cant tell much becuse we are top secrit!

puppybrose said...

there's that Joel again, refusing to join the same clubs as Groucho Marx. am i bitter by the fact that you stole my line out from under me, even as you steal my covers at night? maybe, probably, absolutely (but not really)

"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club." ~ Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

love that movie...

G said...

"I have a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it". Another Groucho line, nothing personal.

Cheesemeister said...

Club: an instrument or society with which to bludgeon victims and non-members.

Minka said...

club

Ladies and gentlemen, may I direct your attention to that big troll coming at a fairly quickly rate towards you. Now just move your eyes over to his right hand and identify the object. For crying out loud.....RUNNNNNN! ( he hasn't changed his socks in weeks!)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I gather that Minka is still in your house. I swear, SWEAR! I SAY!, that one second ago, the above comment, now using Minka's name, was under Doug's icon.

Doug: don't expect the ladies to do your laundry. Change your damn socks!

Minka said...

and ain't this nifty:

JOIN TODAY and waddle around for free!


Joel, you can't join though 'cause last time I checked I couldn't trace your ancestry to the beginning of evolution of penguinity! Sorry! Neva, you have a VIP pass for any area, bring a guest if you like! :)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Club: staff that says don't mace with me.

Joel said...

Minka,

Alas, wounded again.

Joel (checking family history for any sign of flippers)

karma said...

where's the club soda?

quilly said...

TLP -- very good!

Mutha said...

I am back to I Love Lucy's club: Friends of the Friendless.

And ofcourse, Joel beat me out on Groucho -- still the most accurate desciption I can come up with.

puppybrose said...

clubs: 1/2 of a dead man's hand, when accompanied by aces & 8's (spades making up the other half)

eh -- Deadwood schmedwood, i need to get over it. (and someday, i will)

Minka -- thank you for the VIP pass, my friend! uh, can i bring a certain BoBo, despite his woefully lacking ancestry? or should i play it safe, and drag my NBFF along with me, instead? ; )

AsianSmiles said...

a group of people that loves to talk about you when you are absent.

Kyahgirl said...

Hey, I just got back from the inaugural meeting of the California chapter of the Willie and Walela Adulation Society (WAWAS). Its a club with a distinctly international flavour and there is a lot of interspecies interaction. I'm pretty sure Joel would be allowed in this club. Willie is the secretary/treasurer and if you send him a ginormous box of dog treats you can be assured of a lifetime membership.
So far the club is a bit of a circus (missed yesterday's word) and the membership consists of dogs, a penguin, and possibly a catwoman. Its big fun!

actonbell said...

I've been craving scrambled eggs all day, so I belong in the breakfast club.

Minka, you're quoting Pratchett, right? And good job, Mom:)

The Old Mule said...

Club: my bachelor pad in high season.

Minka said...

actonbell, not that I am aware of...but I could see him typing those sentiments. Thank you for that, I feel special and witty now.

karma said...

as TLP says, "ding dong! the Doug is gone". in his absence, we can truly trash this place.

anyone want to join the club?

quilly said...

Doug, I nominated you as one of my 5 recipients of the Thinking Bloggers Award. Pop by my blog to see what it's about.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Karma, that's a club I can join with glee.

tsduff said...

Rats - I so narrowly missed joining that WAWAS club. The absent were effectively excluded by the uncollected - but not unkindly so. Next time :-)

I was always forced to be a member of the Clean Plate Club as a child.

Doug said...

Joel, how about the Groucho Marx sound-alike association?

Poobah, so like a wooden tongue, but effective.

Quilly, just remember that what's right in the classroom isn't always right for the casino.

Amoeba, Bruce Springsteen.

Boy, just don't let girls in.

Neva, what's the third rule?

G, that's a rarer Marx line. Thanks for putting in your two cents.

Cheesie, that was very well done. And I'm not just saying that because you have nails for members.

Minka, hygiene can get a little rough in trollville.

Don't worry about my laundry, TLP. I have women of a certain age fairly lining up to sift through it.

Minka, that looks like a good one. I bet the ice floes like rime.

Good one, TLP.

Joel, check the Irish side for Finns.

Karma, check behind the aspirin?

Mutha, I'm a member of the Tan Lucy Fan Club.

Puppybrose, I see no reason programming treason should e'er be forgot.

Hey, S! You've given us plenty of time.

Kyah, the Catwoman was elected President as soon as she left, and we put the dais in a tree.

Actonbell, from what I've heard, you've been in the Breakfast Club since '82 or so.

Mule, there's no low season in a bachelor pad.

Karma, for the record I answered comments around 13 hours ago and blogger canceled my membership.

Will do, Quill. And thanks for setting the standards within reach.

TLP, you sure do encourage a lot of bad behavior.

Terry, I was never forced to be.

Tom & Icy said...

I beginning to understand what the Curmudgeons Club really is.

Doug said...

Three rings, Icy, four lions, children not welcome and this way to the egress.

weirsdo & Cave Troll said...

A persuader for deciders.