Monday, March 19, 2007

Scepter

Scepter, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

2007 Update: A royal symbol of despotism, such as puppy's tail, a child's tears, a woman's ring or the wallet on a man.

An update: According to gentle hints on her blog and the loud exclamations of our Miz B, it's the birthday of our favorite trollop! Wish her a happy birthday and a shameful birthday night.

38 comments:

Minka said...

hihihihihi

I rule all!

Joel said...

I was thisclose to being first...damn you Penguin!

the amoeba said...

me too! and here I thought we had a chance, since you're no longer on Penguin Standard Time, milady.

SCEPTER, n. One of those "can't win" words.

Pronounced with the "c" silent, it becomes a plague of a sword, with its pointed inoculations of truth.

Pronounced with the "c" as "k" (or whatever that miserable sound is that the Brits replace for the "k"), it becomes the blunt instrument of the Unbeliever, enforcing curmudgeonliness on the seller and the optimist alike.

The wallet is a false scepter - for it is a mark of the most royal of men that he carries none.

Joel said...

scepter: much to the chagrin of royalty everywhere...now on the FAA's list of items banned from carry on.

Minka said...

Joel...it is almost like not being able to join a prestigious golf club, ey? ;)

Joel said...

Why yes Minka it is...how astute of you.

G said...

Scepter: Royalty's nightstick.

Morning to all - the ice is defrosting in the Northeast. Possibly because of a lovely ray of sunshine that is present.

G said...

Wouldn't a scepter be just perfect in this upstretched hand of mine?

~Mo'a~ said...

Scepter: The Ice Queen must feel lost without it.
Don't worry Minka, I will loan you mine today ;)That way you can tap unruly subjects on the head.
By the way, what are you doing up so early?

~Mo'a~ said...

I get it the time displayed is Doug's time zone!!!

Mutha said...

G you are very smart for a Monday morning...I bow to her majesty.

Scepter: The evolution of the caveman club -- because, DAG! those rubies can leave a mark.

Quilly said...

Did you know that the scepter got it's name because when the King took exception to someone in his court, he used his staff of office to subdue them, and to indicate to the guards (or physcians) that person needed to be taken away?

No? Well, that's because I just made it up. Sounded good though, didn't it?

Joel said...

Speaking of carrying a scepter, I had a boss once who liked to carry a baseball bat around the office...and yes, you were wise to steer clear if he was in a less than cheery mood.

karma said...

if karma is erratic, best to scepter as she is

yywdaf: why oh why are women daffy?

IDiveAtNight said...

Scepter: An archaic symbol of power now replaced by Blackberries and BMW's.

mireille said...

Scepter: one who is always bringing up the alternative. Oh. That's Excepter. xoxo

Jenna Howard said...

I'll think of something! I will...just not, uhm, yet.

Doug said...

Minka, just be careful with your scepter. Don't want to put someone's eye out.

Joel, one occupied chair away, I reckon.

Excellent observations, OC. Curmudgeonliness is always voluntary, though. A labor of indifference.

Joel, that's one I can get over. Toothpaste's more of a problem.

Minka, I'll take that for an in-joke and move along.

G, ask the boss.

Mo'a, I'm not sure a soft sculpture scepter will have the normal effect.

Mutha, how do you think they got so red?

Quill, etymology is the last refuge of the know-it-all.

Joel, did he sing Lean On Me through a bullhorn?

And we do, Karma. Puns and all.

That's funny, Morgan. You're right, the blackberry's the aristocrat's new emblem that someone loves them as they are.

Close enough, Mireille. Zockso!

Jenna, I suspect you though of something immediately. Thanks for not bringing it up.

al said...

Scepter:

1. A Kurmudgeon King's Kudgel.
2. A dyslexic Bond's nemesis.

The Old Mule said...

Scepter: A medical term for something terrible.

Karen said...

hmmmm, far as Hillary is concerned, I like all the Dem prez candidates scepter. :+)

Jenna Howard said...

Nope...I had nothing, Doug. Makes me worried about what you thought I thought though.

Miz BoheMia said...

Scepter? You'd best watch what words you use around your bohemian hermana hermanito mio! I thought I was supposed to behave around these here parts! Dios mio!

Soooo... yeah, I am with my fellow Piscean sistah whose birthday it is today I would have you know! Yep, the glittery lipped well behaved naughty one up above DAS FO SHO!!!! HAPPY HAPPY SWEET LADEEE!!!! MWAH!!!!

Doug said...

Al, a curmudgeon king's cudgel is his tongue.

Mule, I thought that was "hangnail."

Karen, that's interesting. I remember your post when Pelosi became speaker.

Jenna, not to worry. I won't admit it.

Miz B, I may transfer my scurrilous speculation from the birthday girl to mi hermanita.

Jenna Howard said...

So...does this mean the scepter is mine today? And hey Miz B doesn't get off scott-free - she's tomorrow.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

scepter - 1. The pronouncement of an Emporer. As in, "I will allow everyone to testify scept-er."

2. The opposite of a decider.

3. A blunt instrument used to thwart the law.

the amoeba said...

The scepter and the tiara, Ms. Jenna. We bow before you, presenting our gifts, asking no questions, surreptitiously removing candles. But beware the Dogs of Toto.

And a happy San Francisco Treat to the Bohemian Rhapsody. Even if it is a day early. Do we throw Golden Grain rice? nyuk nyuk.

cooper said...

So basically the old definition is the same as the new definition. ;0

Doug said...

Of course, Jenna. And don't worry about giving it back right away. We'll give Miz B a tiara and some patchouli.

Poobah, it's a fine line between thwarting and making law, isn't it?

Brown basmati, Amoeba, I think.

Yeah, Alice. I didn't have much to add today, but somehow a post has to happen.

actonbell said...

Harry Potter's wand?

Good morning!

puppybrose said...

Happy (late) Birthday, Jenna! sorry i missed the fun, but someone beat me over the head with a scepter yesterday, and i've been out of it ever since. (i knew those things were good for something...)

Doug said...

Yes, yes, Actonbell. That would be an example. Quite so.

Like a cold splash of nyquil, Neva?

weirsdo said...

Pansi is disappointed not to be your favorite trollop anymore.

Doug said...

Weirsdo of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she couldn't be bothered to come into mine?

PANSI said...

NUMBER ONE I am in the NEVER world not you're world!!!
NUMBER TO I can not risk falling off my waggon agen!!!!!

PANSI said...

And NUMBER FOUR you're job offer had no sicurity!!!!

Doug said...

One day at a time, Pansi. One day at a time.

Nervous Norvis said...

I don't think it would be well to talk about the scepter King Smut uses in polite company. Let's just say it befits his name.