Monday, October 29, 2007


LACE, n. A delicate and costly textile fabric with which the female soul is netted like a fish.

The devil casting a seine of lace
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it in to the landing place
And its contents calculated:

All souls of women were in that sack-
A draught miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.

2007 Update: A delicate, transparent and interstitial cloth meant to represent the uprightness and sophistication of the wearer, bearer or bride, a service it fulfills admirably.


Anonymous said...

lace - The primary ingredient of bodice ripper novels.

Jamie Dawn said...

Lace: pretty, pretty, pretty!
Doilies for the old ladies and bridal veils for the young. And trimming for slips and undies and stuff for those of us who are in between.

I Dive At Night said...

Lace: (1) A string used to close a shoe. (2) A material for fancy women's clothing, often little more than a string.

TLP said...

You feelin' okay? Your update is almost sweet. (I'm mullin' over the interstitial dig.)

Lace: dew covered spider webs seen on the grass on an early morning walk.

Anonymous said...

I love to wear lace.

javajazz said...

do i detect a softening here, Doug?

Kyahgirl said...

lace, verb.
How about I lace your coffee with Bailey's this morning? No? Maybe you should lace your shoes and run far away as fast as you can!!!

Anonymous said...

LACE n. that frilly and/or itchy stuff on women's clothing that impedes comfort and/or productivity.

Anonymous said...

I have no laces on my new shoes. I feel terribly lazy.

Lace: the naughty fabric. Oh you may think it isn't. I'm here to say it is. That's part of lace's deception. Make you think it's pretty when really it's naughty.

Hobbes said...

A complement to leather that fools no one.

Anonymous said...

LACE, n. Froth, congealed, compressed, and applied to garments. In certain commercial situations, the amount of lace is directly proportional to the price required to transfer the bearer's uprightness to the horizontal.

Minka said...

lace,n. a thin, superfical mask hiding average skin and as everything overtly beautiful, easy to tear apart

Ariel the Thief said...

Lace, n, makes the ugly pretty, and the pretty mysterious.

mireille said...

The poem screams elusive. Who's eluding you, D? xoxo

G said...

Give em enough lace, they'll hang themselves.

Funny, this is like the 4th "lace related" post. It inspired one of my own.

G said...

I should clarify - not that you've written, but that I'd read today. The others were design related, so you're right on top of the trend.

Anonymous said...

I never get lace.

When I was around 7 someone sent me a lacy/itchy outfit for my birthday. It was found, hours later, in the trash.

I suspected the indigenous aboriginal peoples.

Never received a lacy gift again.

You aren't turning into a wuss on me are you?

Minka said...

Pascover, are you saying women are as moral as the material of lace is see-through. Why I never...!
In your defense, you included men in that equation...the bearer of bad ti-dings!

Doug The Una said...

Ironic, Poobah, considering that they're printed on recycled paper.

Jamie Dawn, I couldn't find anything about that on wikipedia. Thank you!

Morgan, aren't sneakers exciting?

TLP, that was poetic. I think you are probably missing something if that was sweet but it might be best that way.

Lammy, and I'm sure you make lace look good.

JJ, I don't know what you detect it might be largening.

Kyah, did you run out of iodine again?

Quilly, don't look at me. If I were patriarch nothing would impede women's productivity.

Jenn, as a bodice-ripping author you are the authority. I'll give up my delusions of innocent women wearing lace.

Hobbes, I kind of have to agree there. The payment in advance is kind of a give-away.

Amoeba, that's what I mean when I talk about applied mathematics.

Ironically, Minka, there's nothing porous about your definition.

Ariel, and protects the mysterious from the cup.

Isn't Actonbell. I kind of think the explanation might be modestly interesting.

Mireille, Ambrose Bierce wrote the poem. Not much eluded him.

G, that's funny, except I can picture the lady hanging by lace.

Cooper, I don't recall seeing a lot of Australian Aborigines in lace, you're right. Maori?

Minka, I absolutely intended my spurious allegations to be unfairly levelled against all genders.

Sar said...

A little late, but I prefer leather. Does that make me Don Henley and you the bleating sheep? ;)

Cooper said...

naw, not new zealand either. Lace is not favored in that part of the world unless it's for curtains.

Doug The Una said...

No idea, Sar, but I thought so.

Must be the left-handed hurricanes, huh, Cooper?

tsduff said...

SAR - or a dancing Stevie Nicks... HA HA HA.