Friday, March 07, 2008


ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. It is the same thing as lightning, and its famous attempt to strike Dr. Franklin is one of the most picturesque incidents in that great and good man's career. The memory of Dr. Franklin is justly held in great reverence, particularly in France, where a waxen effigy of him was recently on exhibition, bearing the following touching account of his life and services to science:
"Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered."
Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of its economical application to some purposes is still unsettled, but experiment has already proved that it will propel a street car better than a gas jet and give more light than a horse.

2008 Update:  The substance of lightning and the soul of modern commerce.


Minka said...

electricity,n. the divorce force, it falsely taught us that opposites attract!

mireille said...

Devoured by savages. Was he raw? Because they didn't have any electricity to broil, roast or fry him? xoxo

Anonymous said...

ELECTRICITY n. the "jewelry" Lady Las Vegas wears to disguise the shabbiness of her gown, and detract from the glint of greed in her eyes.

Admin said...

I look forward to the days of wireless electricity at the industrial level.

Anonymous said...

Muggle substitute for magic.

Doug The Una said...

Minka, I like the sound of "the divorce force" but maybe "a divorce force" would be more considered. Light, heat and gravity being other examples.

Mireille, from what I've heard, usually.

Quilly, it looks good on her.

Welcome, Mobashir. I look forward to the days sewerless hygiene.

J.K., without electricity, how do wizards blog?

Jamie Dawn said...

Lightning has been known to create brain grooves, but it is not recommended.

I love Bierce's comments about Ben Franklin.

Lightning: God's zapper

True story - my son was driving the other day and lightning struck a billboard just ahead of him along the interstate. He nearly "laid a streak of brown" as my grandpa used to say.
Maybe God was aiming for Taylor & missed.

Anonymous said...

ELECTRICITY, n. What Thomas Edison wrought. For ELECTRICOUNTRY, see Rural Electrification Administration. Especially if you're neocon or libertarian.

Actually, Franklin died in Philadelphia of a pulmonary aneurysm. Thus, the near-disappearance of the First Peoples of Hawai‘i cannot be blamed on their consumption of his remains. Or on the bad grammar of Frenchmen writing English. Any American graduate of the public schools can do as well, or worse.


TLP said...

Electricity is a terrible thing to lose. I wouldn't be able to read your blog without it.

Ariel the Thief said...

Electricity, what we have in place of light.

Jim said...

Electricity, its history goes to show that if we invent or discover something we could end up being devoured by savages.

Electricity, leads to a monstrous physics problem of determining the distribution of elictrical charges at various places on a saucer.

Tom & Icy said...

A shocking post, this one.

Elbot said...

Electrcity: The finest of wines.

Doug The Una said...

Jamie Dawn, I hope Taylor got some new grooves that day. Fear of the LORD is always healthy.

Amoeba, that was a fantastically panoramic paragraph of satire.

A mind is another terrible thing to lose, TLP, but at least you can read my blog without it.

Ariel, that was brilliant. Or electric, maybe.

Jim, that is absolutely the correct interpretation. I'd expect no less.

Icy, no more so than an invisible dog.

Elbot, prost!

tsduff said...

I much prefer making electricity from a potato experiment than the safety pin in the wall socket. Better yet, just flip the switch.

I Dive At Night said...

Electricty: Free electrons with a net flux in a direction. Isn't it?

Doug The Una said...

Terry, I remember the potato experiment. You're right to prefer it.

Um, well, yeah, Morgan. I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I am tardy, that I know.

But I was listening to too much ELO when I realized what was missing from the campaign of HRC: electricity. Perchance her light bulb will come on and she'll let history take it's due course with the man who has the electricity.


Doug The Una said...

Anonymous, you are never too late. Cooper?

Anonymous said...




Doug The Una said...

Ah ha! Sauerkraut! I need your blog address.