Friday, February 10, 2006

Dishonesty

Dishonesty, n. An important element of commercial success, to which the business colleges have not as yet accorded an honorable prominence in the curriculum, but have weakly substituted penmanship.
Dishonesty is the best policy. New Testament: St. Judas Iscariot, IXL, 29
2006 Update: 1. A gracious alternative to silence.
2. The poetry of a journalist, the prose of a politician, the profanity of a priest or the prayer of the Bishop.

30 comments:

Sar said...

Dishonesty: I just hate when I'm first. And I hope everyone has a terrible Friday.

I enjoyed your definitions Doug. (That of course is an antonym for dishonesty.)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Dishonesty: How would we praise and flatter without it?

Dishonesty,n., Baloney sliced thick. Naturally most of us like it thicker rather than thinner, otherwise we would taste the bread of truth.

mireille said...

Wow, your definition is a good one ... I like a guy who knows his way around alliteration. xoxo

pia said...

Once more TLP is way too sharp for me

Love your definitions; can't even think of a witty response, like uh. "Condi Rice was acting with dishonestly when she went to see Spamalot, the Wednesday after.." just doesn't read funny. But I thought that I would make a political statement

Miz BoheMia said...

I LOVE your definition Doug! Brilliant!

So I have none, just an anecdote. I was in the 5th grade. I gave a red pepper to a second grader. I didn't know what it was nor that it was dangerous. I just knew it was hot and made people look funny as they desperately ran for water. I was in the principal's office every freaking day for 3 days as they interrogated me! The principal and at least 3 other teachers were present. My mantra? Honesty is NOT the best policy. I kept repeating it, stuck to my lie and did not get expelled nor suspended. Yes, that is how bad that school was. These two guys once got expelled for mooning our school bus. They should have employed dishonesty... worked for me!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Doug: If you keep outdoing everyones potential we will have nothing to write.

Jenna Howard said...

Dishonesty is how I got my brother in trouble because I can fake cry like nobody's business!

still life said...

Dishonesty (n) misrepresentation made knowingly with the intent to promote the sale of property, goods, or services to another.

see: on-line dating profile


oh, and I wasn't here yesterday because I had doctors appointments. (Which is actually true, but I can bring a note)

LeesahEm. said...

dishonesty-see also: what we tell our jobs in order to use our sick days on gorgeous days like Seattle is having today.

planetmoron said...

Dishonesty: The essential lubricant of social interaction without which family reunions, neighborhood BBQs and office holiday parties would cease to function.

Semisweet1 said...

You were VERY naughty today. I heard of a movie called "All Dogs Go To Heaven," but I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about you. Nice definiton.

Minka said...

Hmm ... Doug, if you already give us briiliant definitions that are almost imposible to top, it kinda is a turn off for trying.

And while I say it is ingenious, others disagree...and I am lying;)

Anonymous said...

I am never dishonest.

Axis (of) Evil

Omnipotent Poobah said...

I just spoke with my linguistic consultant, Steven Colbert.

He informs me that you have spelled the word incorrectly. It should be spelled "dishonestiness". The opposite of "truthiness".

Doug said...

Honesty: I haven't been able to comment here or anywhere else since I got to the office and it's was driving me mad.

Dishonesty: It was blogger's fault. (Once I quit my browser and reopened it just now, all was grand.)

Sar, I hope you skin your knee.

TLP, I more than love the baloney definition. *applause*

Many men go manic for manic for metaphor, Mireille. I prefer alliteration.

Pia, you can fly a banner when you don't bring a kite.

Thanks, Miz B. I hope Dddragon's daughters read your comment and learn from it. Of course, they would never do evil, I'm certain. Even the evil one.

Have confidence, Alice. The emperor's buck nekkid. Figuratively.

That seems to be a trait of Jennas, Jenna.

Still Life, not that I don't trust you, but I would like to see the note before I dispense with your case.

Masil, enjoy the sunlight. AchOO!

Hey, Planetmoron! Long time no see. I thought that was liquor.

S, what are you talking about?

So, Monika, the others are telling the truth. By the way, I've been blocked from commenting on your site all day too. In case I still don't get in, that was a stunning post and a fantastic tribute to Sabine.

Come to think of it, anyone who's reading this and doesn't already read Monika's blog should get over there today.

Anonymous, that's a great signature today. Articulate euphemism.

Poobah, I've started recording uses of "truthiness" whenever I encounter them. Blame his predecessor, Ambrose, for the primitive vocabulary.

Minka said...

Doug, thank you for pushing people my way. There are quite a few here, I´d be honoured to receive at my court:)

Rio said...

"try lying, its the currency of the world"

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I want to know what Semisweet is referring to. I NEED to know what Semisweet is referring to.

What is heck is the dawg up to? Tell us Semi! Please!

Doug said...

Monika, and it's a warm welcome they'll get.

Yes, Rio, but whenever possible use a pseudonym.

TLP, I honestly have no idea. But S, as you know, is 3000 miles from here so I'm pretty sure he didn't catch me at anything.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Yeah? Maybe. But the word of the day is dishonesty, isn't it? So, should I believe you?

See, I would lie about it if I had done something, so why should a liar think that anyone else would tell the truth? It's a mystery.

Doug said...

TLP, I'm not saying I wasn't naughty today, I'm just saying I don't see how that bearded marshmallow-maker would know what I did.

Fred said...

Dishonesty: GWB: "We are invading Iraq because they have weapons of mass destruction."

Sar said...

Skin my knee? Jeesh, couldn't you just wish me a losing lottery ticket?

And what is Semi referring to? Sounds juicy! Inquiring shoes want to know.

Jamie Dawn said...

I really dislike dishonesty. I've known a few habitual liars, and I never know what to believe.
"Prose of a politician" is SO true. I don't think any of them just tell it like it is.
I'd love it if for one week every politician was incapable of lying or shading the truth. Boy, oh boy!

Tom & Icy said...

just a little embellishment

AP3 said...

I think that's a really dishonest portrayal of Judas Iscariot.

shayna said...

Dishonesty is when I say "I don't love your blog"... ;) *she says as she wipes the brown off her nose*

:)

Doug said...

Fred, that was what the intelligence said. Maybe we should update the definition of intelligence.

Sar, turns out he was talking about the definition. I was more than curious myself.

Jamie Dawn, they'd explode and we'd have to find a bunch of new liars to make a government.

Wow, Icy, that's the best definition ever.

Aral, I meant to double-check the New Testament. If I've been a party to slander you bet I'll apologize.

Dang, Shayna. Have a tissue.

weirsdo said...

Everyone's secret friend, whom no one recognizes in public.

weirsdo said...

You are SO RITE, TLP!!!!!!!! And no one slices the balony thicker then Mr. DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!