Thursday, August 17, 2006

Austere

AUSTERE, adj. Having the quality of an antique virgin, or a legislator approached with a bribe by the side he has been paid to oppose. The care that is taken to guard against confounding this word with "oyster" will be well-rewarded.

2006 Update: Without pie.

41 comments:

Minka said...

austere:
Well, Icelandic climate of course!*duh*
Until you discover snow-baths, ice cubes on your skin and the fact that two people can fit into a sleeping bag if there is need for heat.

brian said...

Austere:

The Pride and Prejudice cattle ranch and lunch counter.

Shamrock7 said...

Austere: An old Mayan word/definition given to but a few Aztec Warhorses put out to stud. When translated basically means "over 20 sticks". Which under current research meant that this certain stud had a "penis" longer than normal. You see the Mayans were pioneers in math, science, crystal skulls, and primitive brain surgery. And according to legend some of these fledgeling men of science measured everything and came up with, for it's time, a very involved tracking system/algorithm for many things. One of these algorithms happened to be measurments of the varying sizes, shape,and length of phalluses found on man and beast. Austere was given only to a gifted few.

Jenna Howard said...

can't define, howling over Shamrock's definition

Minka said...

Bugger...I think I set the tone for today´s comment section. I really am sorry! *looks at him with big open eyes awaiting wrath*

Sar said...

I'm afraid I find this word rather dull.

puppybrose said...

hmmmm. in keeping with this tone (or not)...

Austere: keeping it simple (stupid), i.e. a sharp stick in the eye, slap in the face, and/or kick in the ass (as opposed to rocket launchers and/or WMDs)

did i mention coffee? did you??

cj said...

austere: I'm redecorating and now my walls are all austere as I let the paint dry.

ariel said...

austere: without lace

@cj, what colour are your walls now?

(my verifier: fcktv)

G said...

Puppy: If I could get close enough to Hezbollah, I'd use all of the above, stick, slap, kick to the...

Austere: What a great dancer, hum?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I was thinking of giving a severely simple definition, but my mind is a stark interior at the moment, and I can't even think in a straight-forward manner. I'm just too sour and astringent without more COFFEE.

O Ceallaigh said...

brian - you failed to mention, that lunch counter's in Australia.

AUSTERE, n. The passenger's admonition to the driver to pay attention to the car and the road rather than to whatever it was that was being patted down. Or up.

Sorry. That's Minka's fault. She was the one that mentioned that sleeping bag.

And speaking of driving, Sir Shameless Sez See Part 3 of The Drive East, now posted.

ariel said...

soon after Zeus and his team left the Olympus, a new couple showed up above snow-line: Three Lipped Petra and his son, Coffee. Coffee was the most beautfiul young man people, gods and what's between have ever seen, yet Petra has never let him get married and leave her side because she couldn't even open her eyes without his son's good-morning kisses and good-afternoon-how-the-was-lunch kisses.

puppybrose said...

g: especially when paired with Rogers!

"Knock, knock"

"Who's there?"

"Austere"

"Austere, who?"

"Austere and austere, but no matter how long austere at this word, ah can't seem to come up with anything clever!"


TLP? i'll join you for a second cup! (and thanks to Ariel, now i know why we need it! that was great!)

Jake said...

austere: army green.

Doug said...

How about cold showers, Minka? There better be cold showers.

Brian, you might be thinking of O'Heifer's.

See, Shamrock, I had no idea. I did find El Jaguar suggestive, though. Those Maya!

Jenna, laughter is better than satire.

Sigh, Minka, and it seemed like such an innocent word, too.

Sar, have some more warm water.

Puppybrose, I was about to.

CJ, my walls dried years ago. Still austere.

Oh my, Ariel. Poor Sheila E.

G, I'm told they're everywhere. Did you check under the bed?

TLP, AUSTERE, adj. A Unitarian repenting of coffee.

O Ceallaigh, I understand the distraction. No need to apologize the day after I plugged one of my stories on your site.

Ariel, Greeks make the worst gods in the world.

*happy applause* Puppybrose, there's nothing this site needs more than knock-knock jokes. I told "Orange" to my 2-year-old nephew on Sunday.

Jake, those berets are straight out of Stonewall.

G said...

Silly - that's their woman and children! as she kicks foot under bed.

Puppy: That was a good one. It reminds me of the now *politically incorrect* Little Rascals episodes that I grew up on:

Teacher: Buckwheat, please use isthmus in a sentence.

Buckwheat: Isthmus be my lucky day!

Miz BoheMia said...

Austere? Nothing to do with me! Now why you would post a word that has nothing whatsoever o do with me is beyond, well, me!

Although I do appreciate the celebration thrown on my behalf yesterday! About time this bohemian was celebrated on such a scale! Forgive my absence but life had me kidnapped by two small bohemians who wanted me home and perhaps acting a bit more austere than I tend to. But that is simply not to be had! NOT TO BE HAD I TELL YOU!

Funny how all these fellow bloggers delusionally thought it was all about them! Guess the joke is on them, huh? *wink, wink*

Now, this is getting a bit too serious for my taste! So come on people! Kick austere in the a... (hey hermano! Can I say ass? Well, just in case...)

Kick austere in the a** and DANCE THAT DANCE ELECTRIC!

YEAH BABY YEAH! SHAKE THEM GROOVE THANGS! OOOOWEEEE!

Joel said...

Austere...the first release from a band called Sparta.

Austere...The interior of my office building...which, nonetheless, draws high praise for its design and appearance.

Austere...an accurate description of my mood as I head out to Atlanta this afternoon.

Austere...Austria's wacky second cousin.

mireille said...

austere, depending on your appetites: five bottles of Ormonde Jayne; five Chanel lipglosses; five bottles of Medoc; five rawhide bones; five Krispy Kremes. xoxo

puppybrose said...

Doug: orange you glad i'm here to provide more fodder for that captive audience of yours? (austere clear of the obvious puns, but sometimes these things can't be helped!)

G: just ONE more reason you and i are NBFFs!! i adore the Little Rascals (i also loved Eddie Murphy's version of Buh-wheat)

tsduff said...

Austere - Just a fancy word for bare.

brian said...

Prim, proper, plain.
refined, restrained, refrain.
stark, stripped, sane.


In other words, no one here fits the definition of austere.

Doug said...

Oh-tay, G!

Miz B, yesterday being all about you I thought a word you only know intellectually was only fair.

Joel, just make sure you don't come home with kudzu seeds.

Mmmmmmmmm, Mireille. Rawhide bones you say?

Puppybrose, Knock Knock

Terry, it took me two readings but that's brilliant.

Brian, what if they strip?

First Nations said...

austere: depressed. no longer required to 'work' for his room and board, the 'au steer' works on waiting patiently for his turn before the stun wand.

woo hooo, dougie! *waves*

karma said...

I think Brian was trying to promote Jane Austere

Actually, its the previous name of Tasmania, meaning 'little Australia', before someone started calling it Tasmania. What the devil!

zyhghr: gone with the zephyr

Jamie Dawn said...

Austere begins with an a, as does this next sentence:

A pox on your household!! (minus the doggies, of course.)

I am not austere in any way at all; I am a nice person and really like to wear pretty stuff.
Since you have been dogging me about world history, I may have to have one of my underlings deal with you sternly. It will not be pleasant.

Oh, and Joel and Neva can keep their veggie burgers. When I order a hamburger, I cry out "Where's the beef?!"

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Give up coffee?? That's not austere. That's asinine. Coffee without cream is austere.

brian said...

Thank you Karma, at least somebody likes austere poetry. Stopping by anytime?

JD- I love veggie burgers, no lunch counter for me.

Doug- That little mantra is how they start on stage, and where they end up. In the words of tsduff, bare.

Jamie Dawn said...

Brian: Neva convinced me try them, and so I will order a veggie burger next time I'm at Chili's. I will blame both YOU and HER if my taste buds are disappointed. :)

Doug: I have been weeping off and on all day due to the two simple words of your defintion: Without pie.
It hit me hard that there are people in this world who really ARE without pie. Eating pie is a human right. It must be Bush's fault that there is a shortage of pie.

brian said...

Oh JD, I am so sorry you have to eat pie at Chili's. *shudders* Fresh Key Lime Pie. Tasty.

We have Two J's Deli down here and they make a mean portabella mushroom burger. Diane, as the carnivore likes her meat rare. If you are looking for veggie burgers in the freezer, chick patties and the spicy black bean burgers are the best. :)

actonbell said...

austere-no fun at all. TLP, I'm surprised and shocked! Coffee without cream is glorious, free, and so COFFEE. Black coffee is to be praised for not pretending to be anything but itself!

austere-repressed, muted, and stuck-up. Don't be austere.

Doug said...

Howdy, First Nations!

Karma, Taz jokes are always welcome.

JD, I only hope we can have a restoration. If not, have a glorious revolution.

TLP, a distinction drawn by a good Unitarian.

Brian, the promotion of a vegetarian lifestyle is anathema to the memory of Ambrose Bierce for a reason I'll invent later.

Jamie Dawn, that's disappointment. It was for your welfare and yours alone that I changed "without chocolate truffles."

Brian, don't tell anyone but once in a long, long while I enjoy a portabello mushroom sandwich. The secret is not admitting to myself that I could just as easily have had a cheeseburger.

Everyone, my office internet is down in case I haven't returned an email or comment.

QuillDancer said...

I just barged in -- wasn't invited -- but I really like this playground. Can I stay? Here's my ticket:

The heifer jumped the pasture fence looking for a bull, but all she found was austere.

Please, Doug, tell me I am forgiven for insulting you at Sar's place.

[I think this almost covers your earlier "sycophant" offering as well.]

Doug said...

Actonbell, how is that different from "REFINED?" Oh, the stuck-up part.

Quilldancer, insulting me at Sar's place is your ticket. Welcome, and I hope you do stick around. The author of "I know I only need 5 sheets, I'm just trying to decide which 5" should get a special nameplate. Although, I have to warn you, this here's TLP country.

AP3 said...

Hi, Doug! I missed you!

actonbell said...

Refined is more pastel than austere, in my most humble opinion.

QuillDancer said...

Thank you. I am glad you appreciate insults as an art form.

I shall definately pause here daily. Why did I have to find this place at the end of my summer break? Now I have to return to work. I cannot just sit and play with words all day. sigh

I'd also like to thank you for leaving random comments all over my blog. I had such a good time looking for them .... and to answer your question -- that was indeed my very first blog ever (obviously it shows), but now I have five.

Logophile said...

austere~ Life without free time for online playing.
AKA~ MY life lately

Oooooh the humanity

Indeterminacy said...

I feel a bit austere about commening on this word because I don't really know what it means.

Doug said...

Hey, Aral! You home?

I'll buy that Actonbell. Maybe I can add that austerity is a windowless room while refinement wears beer goggles.

Quilldancer, you're never late. A hint to the new blogger: When you receive the email that someone has left a comment, if you click the link at the bottom it will take you to the post the comment was left on.

Logo, I told you those kids would be trouble. No-one listens.

Indie, let me help. Imagine a blogger who only posts his or her own pictures.