Thursday, August 10, 2006

Sycophant

SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches greatness on his belly so that he may be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

2006 Update: A quiet sort who pretty much kept to himself, the nicest guy in the world who always got all his work done, always had something nice to say to everyone and never gave anyone a bit trouble before this.

2. The second-smartest guy in the room.

Note: 10 demerits to anyone commenting today on the quality of this blog or its author. You guys are cleverer than that.

52 comments:

Minka said...

Will you put the a-word-a-day toilet paper away now, and open the Devil's dictionary...for cryin' out loud, man!!!!

Minka said...

I bet it is an elephant with a scythe, am I right?

puppybrose said...

is that how little you think of us, Doug? that we're all no better than a bunch of Bierce-loving-blog-reading syncophants?

just because we happen to think this is a great site and you are brilliant *beyond* mere words is no reason to call us names.

puppybrose said...

and, of course, a syncophant is like a sycophant, only musical.

puppybrose said...

in other words, a syncophant is one who would sing your praises *while* kissing your ass.


i should probably give up now, huh?

Mutha said...

SYCOPHANT: "Toady", or other animals who were minding their own business before being accused of being insincere.

Puppybrose: Can you hum a few bars?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I would like to say that this is the best blog in the universe. The very, very best. In the known universe.

Got anything I can wipe my brown nose with?

Sycophant: One who has trouble walking, 'cause her nose is up yours.

duxfine said...

SYCOPHANT,n. Term in common usage among the up and comers, applied to a peer whose adeptness at ingratiation is far superior to the individual applying the label. Although never publicly acknowledged, the tag is often rooted in a grudging respect and devious envy.

Jenna Howard said...

So a sycophant would do this huh?

Go over to Sar's and vote for Jenna! She's promising great things. And didn't you pay attention? Ladies first. And when there aren't any ladies around you VOTE FOR JENNA! Why are you voting for Doug? Stop it. Vote for me, me, me, me...MEEEEE!!!

Err there should probably be some vast sucking up too, right? Oh you fantabulous people whom I love and adore for your wit and brilliance and sparkling selves...damn it...vote for Jenna!

Shamrock7 said...

Sycophant: This is a unfortunate emotional response in zoo elephants when they witness children being "smacked" upside the head by parents/adults. Elephants love there offspring and they believe that children our the future. There actions include "head swaying" with defecation of a massive amount of excrement. Elephants also trumpet in defiance and finally stare at the accused with sad piercing eyes. Hoping that there non-verbal disapproval of said action will change the way humans view physical violence towards children.

Joel said...

Sycophant: In politics the sycophant is also known as a "running mate." In sports, media, and entertainment, the term is interchangeable with "agent." In business, generally synonymous with anyone below CEO level.

brian said...

Why Doug. You are so sweet. Having me as your special guest two days running. *blushes*

"A quiet sort who pretty much kept to himself, the nicest guy in the world who always got all his work done, always had something nice to say to everyone and never gave anyone a bit trouble before this."

Before this? Now just what exactly do you mean by that! And why didn't you include this yesterday?

Sar said...

(nicely done, Jenna)

Sycophant: One possessing the ability to suckup for personal gain; a social skill often learned early as evidenced by my girls who've asked "Btw, mommy, can we get a dog?" only after telling me "mama you're the most wonderful, beautiful mommy in the whole word."

O Ceallaigh said...

SYCOPHANT, n. Team player. See CABINET.

I'm baaaaack ... run for your lives!

:)

Jenna Howard said...

Amoeba alert.

Have you guys voted for Jenna yet?

Miz BoheMia said...

What is a bohemian to say that has not been said already? And I am not even that late to the party! Dios mio!

Sycophant... only move they will get from bohemians is a punch in the nose... PUNCH I SAY! K-POW!

Hmph!

Hey, has anyone been picking on you? Why the note? What have I missed? See above def of sycophant and refer them to me! Bwahahaha!

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh! *GASPETTY GASP* I missed a party thrown by my dear hermano yesterday! Ahem, ahem!

Rhyme... if not artfully done 'tis a poetic weapon gone terribly wrong that does nothing more than reveal one's idiocy rather than the aspired brilliance that was the shining mirage of a goal, causing one to fall flat on one's non-poetic face and be spoiled 'n broken beyond repair!

BITE YOUR TONGUE BOHEMIA!

Oooh! I like me the taste of blood!

I ain't no sycophant suckas! BoheMia out!

Jake said...

Hey Amoeba... Team player? I thought you acephalous single-celled guys were all for yourselves.

Welcome back.

Doug said...

Minka, I can't believe you left it to me to point out that you're first! After seeing your comment, I checked The Devil's Dictionary for "smudge" to post tomorrow. Alas, it's not there.

Nice recovery, Puppybrose. You're the greatest recoverer ever in the whole wild world.

Mutha, that's a great definition. "I was just doing my nails, ma'am. Beautiful, venerated lady. Queen of my heart and all that's beyond it!"

Haha, TLP. 10 demerits. I shoulda known. That TLP!

Duxfine, it's been too long. You're right, of course. The guy or gal who got the promotion is always a sycophant.

No, Jenna, a sycophant would have suggested voting for Doug here. I'll have you know, I voted for Jenna yesterday and again this morning.

Shamrock, no wonder their young stampede.

Joel, in sports broadcasting I think the sycophant is the color commentator/analyst.

Brian, you didn't have the hand grenade yesterday.

Sar, I'm sure they were just giving an objective appraisal. I want a tent!

The Doctor is in! Welcome home, OC!

Yes, Jenna! And I encourage all my friends to do the same. Vote early and often for the Little Blue Pill.

That was a short visit, hermana.

Jake, you're probably thinking of Euglenas. Selfish, flagellating bastards.

Jenna Howard said...

Today there is no Little Blue Pill, Doug. She's the Little Pink Liquid SPAZ! Energy drinks bad, very bad. Very bad stuff. I think cheerleaders drink this stuff.

Oh yeah I forgot to say: "Welcome back, Amoeba". I have the attention span of...well...I can't think of anything less than a gnat so...I have the attention span of a Little Pink Liquid SPAZ!!

Psst: voooote for me :)

Jake said...

sycophant:
1. n. a cubicle monkey who wants to acquire more material things in order to feel better about himself at the cost of eating someone else's poo.

2. n. a member of the white-collared cult of Dale Carnegie.

see also How to Use Friends and Manipulate People by above-mentioned author.

Doug- I'd say you're the first smartest guy in the room followed by, of course, the Amoeba. Did I mention that you're also a great poet? *wipes nose clean*

tsduff said...

Need any of them thar apples polished? Oh, and don't mind the bit of brown on my nose, it's nothing...

G said...

Sycophant means always having to say I'm sorry.

puppybrose said...

psychophant: stalker


*blush* thanks for that praise, sir! and, for fear of sounding like a sycophant may i just say i absolutely HOWLED with laughter when i saw your caption yesterday? (sorry Jenna, i love your's too, but "does this halter make me look fat" was pretty dang hysterical!)

The Village Idiot said...

sycophant -- pachyderm on acid

Mutha said...

"Sycophant means always having to say I'm sorry."
Geez G, that's a good one.

Doug said...

Jenna, a strong cup of coffee might help.

Jake, at ease, soldier. I like definition #1.

Just a touch of melanoma, huh, Terry?

G, *applause*

Maybe a welcome stalker, Puppybrose. Thanks but vote the Little Blue Pill in '06.

No, V.I., I think that's really your picture but thanks for checking.

Mutha, seconded.

The Village Idiot said...

The colors melted off the walls and landed on my head...maybe you are right Doug.

However, I do believe that the world revolves around my head

The Village Idiot said...

and since the world reloves around my head, come on over and give me a nerd song

Jenna Howard said...

I love Doug.

brian said...

*taps baton*

"A Sycophant in C Major"

is it bigger than a house
does it squeak like a mouse
conflagrations to douse
perhaps a political louse
commentators do grouse
beware of the spouse
though better than a souse
it's still a sycophant
that causes the rant
with a partisan slant
and a hysterical cant
Republicans rule
Democrats drool
Nah nah

actonbell said...

Whatever you say, Doug.

puppybrose said...

maybe i was thinking of a sickophant?

ariel said...

"One who approaches greatness on his BELLY", Doug. I'm sorry for being this clever.

ariel said...

sycophant, n, a lover of clean sole.

puppybrose said...

what are you saying, ariel? that a sycophant is a foot and/or shoe fetishist?


i know, i know. time for me to stop.

Jenna Howard said...

I returned the love Doug and voted for you.

ariel said...

Puppybrose, whatever is the reason why one licks on them they're gonna be clean finally. or covered with drool...

ariel said...

please those that don't like to have their toes be sucked on put one hand up!

puppybrose said...

*raises hand*

oh, and ariel, i loved both your definitions! brilliant, as usual! (and no, i'm not being a sycophant... i honestly thought they were great!)

ariel said...

oh the first one is Bierce's own definition including the word left out by the author of this site. the second is mine, and thank you! :)

Doug said...

V.I., I'm sure it spins just that way.

LBP, the love of a trollop is bread and meat.

Brian, I can hear the winds from here.

No fair, Actonbell, you have all those co-workers to learn from.

Ariel, how did I and the rest of the troop miss that? Thank you for reading. And I think you and G get the tiara today, that's a great definition.

Puppybrose, by trade if not by preference.

Thanks, Jenna, but I'll be glad to see you get the crown.

Ariel and Puppy, can you see my hands?

Logophile said...

One who smart enough to know they look better when the cleverness of others reflects on them and has the wisdom to know when flattery is too obvious.

G said...

Ariel - I guess it would be kind of hard for us to wear it together, so perhaps you take a picture of it and I'll wear it? I mean if you want me to be in the picture, okay.

puppybrose said...

i just hope the tiara won't clash with the bead-work in your lampshade! not to mention the crystal tear drops around the edges. still... a girlish lamp can't have enough bling-bling around her head, can she? or is that light bulbs? (i always get confused.)

Sir Richard Steele said...

Whenever you commend, add your reasons for doing so; it is this which distinguishes the approbation of a man of sense from the flattery of sycophants and admiration of fools.

G said...

I see OC's back. G'night all.

ariel said...

but of course, G, I'm so clumsy with tiaras! they keep falling off my head.

cooper said...

Well politicians have them, movie stars have them , athletes have Ghandi had them and now dear dawg you have them and it appears as though you are stuck with them.

pia said...

I think the editor told me to say something sarcastic but alas it's late--will return tomorrow

I do enjoy Cooper mimicing Cole Porter, or Noel Coward--at least I think she is

Miz BoheMia said...

SICKOPHANT? Ha, ha, ha, haaa! Puppybrose, thou art brilliant FO SHO!

Hermano, you are surrounded by fantabulous ladies! Ooooweeee! Sizzlin' to say the least!

Doug said...

Logo, can you bring that halo a little closer? I'm having my portrait done.

G, it depends how you are at headstands.

Puppybrose, the light bulbs are something else.

Sir Richard (Sir Amoeba?) that's an excellent if unnecessarily British quotation.

Night, G. I see your microscope's working.

Ariel, is that what fell in the water?

Thanks, Coop. I'm too ugly for a movie star and stupid for the stump, but my friends, too, say I'm wise and tell me to my rump.

Pia, it seems like forever, how have you been? I think we can market Cooper as the femaler Noel Coward.

Miz B, it's just nothing but a blessing.