Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Special Secret Agent

This week, please help me welcome S.A.C.A.D.A. as a special guest.

S.A.C.A.D.A. was asked to define By-laws.

BY-LAWS, Mister Pascova said I shuold define "by-laws" so i will do it for him becaus eviryone says hes a nice man. By Laws are very importand for everyone in a club who is not the president of the club so they know what the president wants them to do, that is part of civlizahshun because animals dont know how to read by-laws. They only growl and then they bite each other to.

I had a club that was the Twilight Zone club then I wrote down the bylaws for evryone in the club. My mother broght computer paper from work so i could write the by laws on computer paper. I wrot one copie for me so i could post it when the internett was invented.

I can prove the by-laws was impordant becaus me and Howard who was Geniril Helper in the club had a arguement about somthing and this was in the late summer so he tried to hit me with a hoe and i got mad and didnt talk to him the rest of the sumer and autum even thouhg we lived in the same apartmeant house, Then it was winter and I was biulding the bigest snowball of all time. I rolled it until it was bigger than i was and we called the newspaper and they wanted to send a reportor to take a picure. And I tryed to make it biger and Howard came to help me and we roled it together and was friends agian.

So if I did not have by-laws I wouldnt a known when I had to be mad at Howard. And Im sorry I wrote in the bylaw book that he was roten because we started being freinds again.

About S.A.C.A.D.A.: A while back, I was reading The Synchronicity of Indeterminacy when a chrono-synclastic infundibulum opened up and an 11-year-old from the 1970s crawled out. Now, at Indeterminacy's site things like that are no big deal. Happens all the time. But this 11-year-old from another era seemed so proper, wholesome and conventional, he naturally reminded me of Indie. Wondering if the two might be related I clicked some links and it turned out S.A.C.A.D.A. is Indie.

S.A.C.A.D.A. has other accomplishments as well. He is the president of The Twilight Zone Club, and it's successor S.A.C.A.D.A. (Secret Agents Crusading Against Demolition Agents.) An accomplished young man and patriotic American, he is also the author and illustrator of The Story Book of Trils and Chills and Excitement. So much potential. Kind of heart-breaking, really. With all of his extracurricular activities, his grades are actually kind of impressive. Clearly, this was a lad destined to be a leader.

Just a little over a year ago our time and about thirty years from now his time, S.A.C.A.D.A. was/will be a guest on this site and provided/will provide the inspiration for the next-to-last chapter in a story that really needed to end.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.


Minka said...

Minka First. What do you mean I am childish? Hi Indy *waves*

Minka said...

by laws,n. Doug being anti-social a couple of months back!
*covers and hides*

Anonymous said...

great job, S.A.C.A.D.A....and, any fan of The Twilight Zone is a friend of mine!

bylaws: details [see also: fine print]

Penguin, i may be wrong, but didn't you visit a bylaw (in the old Icelandic sense) a couple of weeks ago?

Minka said...

*claims ignorance*

brian said...

By-Laws: Stocking up in bulk for a wedding.

Jamie Dawn said...

Hooray for Indie/Sacada!!
I am in Sacada's Twilight Zone Club, but I am not a full fledged memeber because I don't swear total allegiance to the president. He is a bit tyrannical, as evidenced in this very post here. My job is to suppy the club with chocolate truffles at our club meetings.

Hello to Indie and Congrats to Sacada on being this Special Guest. At this site, though, Dougster is the President at all times. Don't try and cross him EVER!

Sorry about leaving the periods out of Sacada, but I'm too lazy to put them in. Please don't require this in any addendums to the bylaws.
Gotta go to school now! Off to college I am!!!
Have a GREAT day!!!!

The amoeba said...

BY-LAWS, n. (plural) A reminder that, in rule-making as in everything else in life, you get what you pay for.

Indie, I envy you. You can look back on your childhood without screaming. Me? You don't want to know ...


mireille said...

Like, legislation that sits beside or inside the real legislation? Kind of like set-asides. Ask Sen. T. Stevens of AK. Sacada, you're a pretty cool kid, time traveling like that. xoxo

Charlene Amsden said...

by-Laws n. fine print in the charter of every orginazation expressly written to prevent progress

Anonymous said...

By-laws. The rules. Some of them are pretty strange. In my by-law is no live goldfish in the toilet tank (not the bowl...the tank). How would they know? I's not like Board Members come and knock on my door to ask if I have a live goldfish in my toilet tank.

They're trying to pass a new by-law that says we HAVE to be nice to the board members. My response was very, um, unnice so I didn't sign off it. Why should I be nice to them? They won't let me keep a goldfish in the toilet tank.

G said...

BY-LAWS: what is needed for gatherings with the in-laws. Just in time for the High Holidays. Thank you.

I'm already a big fan of S.A.C.A.D.A. I love the report card. Mr. Indie should send his 3rd grade teacher a link to his blog. It's a good thing you were not "quick to obey". Love that.

Anonymous said...

G: according to the bylaws of that report card, X marks the areas in need of improvement... which means Indie/S.A.C.A.D.A was quick to obey, but he was apparently out of control as he did so! xox

G said...

Haha - there goes my ADD or Life as a Clandestine Blogger in the Workplace. Shhhh!

Sar said...

Nicely done, S.A.C.A.D.A!

I'd offer to bribe you with my superdelicious pancakes for admittance into your club, but it seems your elder Indie already makes them. Hmmm. Syrup! That's the ticket!

Oh but first, I simply must know, can I earn a shiny badge in your club too? ;)

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Minka: Im glad you want to join S.A.C.A.D.A.: can you bring a penguinn to the next meeting we can make it our maskot.

Puppybrose: I always wanted a real live puppydog. The picures at your site look really nice. Maybe we met somwhere in the Twilight Zone before?

Brian: Wow! You must have alot of wives to know that!

Queen Princesse Dawn: Plese bring marzipan to the next meeting too. I like it very much. Dont worry i will allways be nice to Mr. Pascova. This is a graet place too lern to spell words.

O Ceallaigh: I think i made my teachers scraem.

Mireille: We secrit agents have to time travel alot. Its part of being in the Twilight Zone club. So much neat stuff is going on in the future.

QuillDancer: I dont read fine print i just read books with picturs and big print.

Jenna Howard: Why dont you give the bord members a kite to fly away on i hope they have flite inshurrince.

G: I dont know where the teacher is i think she went crazy and got took away.

Puppybrose: I think i shuold have got a metel for perfect attendence in the fourth quarter.

G: I guess they have rittalin now for add but im glad they didnt know about it then.

Sar: You can be in the club but be carful with your shoes you might step on one of my toys and brake it.

The Village Idiot said...

B(u)y Laws: Taxation without representation

and S.C.A.D.A, does your club need a mascot?

Anonymous said...

i agree, oh wise-and-clever-boy-from-S.A.C.A.D.A.! you absolutely deserved a medal... perhaps a provision for such things should be added into the school's bylaws? as for meeting in the Twilight Zone? i'm *quite* sure we have... don't know how i missed the chance to join your club--is it too late?

G: as an ADD girl myself, you just *know* i had to reread that report card several times to make sure i had it right! and thanks for bringing my attention (heh) to it in the first place!! (this is why you're my NBFF, and i don't care who knows it)

Anonymous said...

i agree, oh wise-and-clever-boy-from-S.A.C.A.D.A.! you absolutely deserved a medal... perhaps a provision for such things should be added into the school's bylaws? as for meeting in the Twilight Zone? i'm *quite* sure we have... don't know how i missed the chance to join your club--is it too late?

G: as an ADD girl myself, you just *know* i had to reread that report card several times to make sure i had it right! and thanks for bringing my attention (heh) to it in the first place!! (this is why you're my NBFF, and i don't care *who* knows it)

Anonymous said...

yowza! how the heck did *that* happen? i only hit the "publish" button once.... S.A.C.A.D.A. am i in the Twilight Zone, again??? yeesh.

Kyahgirl said...

oh S.A.C.A.D.A, aren't you the clever one? Great post today. However, I must warn you....your creative approach to spelling might prove to be a lure to Miss Pansi....its obviously something you share. If she tries to join the Club, you better say 'no'. Mister Pascova might start a turf war (because she's promised to him in heaven) and then you'd be really sorry. I saw on your report card that you need improvement in the area of self control so this could be a real disaster all around. There are no by-laws that will protect you against a mad dawg.

Good write up Doug. Indie is full of surprises.

oh look! word veri, how fitting:
I question her fidelity, don't you?

FirstNations said...

that was just outstandingly cool.
indie/sacada, heres a birthday present:
go read anything by Lynda Barry RIGHT NOW.
or Harvey Pekar.
or Keith Banner.

G said...

I think that is the fate of many a third grade teacher.

By the way S.A.C.A.D.A., I know you love Dark Shadows, but how about Get Smart? Spyish in a funny way. And will you always be 11? My daughter liked your blog. When time permits, I said she could go back in and read.

Ariel the Thief said...

I have read your bylaws book, S.A.C.A.D.A., and I am now a little worried about Indie. hope he will always be the nicest to you... :)

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Village Idiot: If Minka will bring one of her penguines we will make a mascot out of it and you can bring more animels and we can have seviral differint mascots.

Pubbybrose: I had sum Bs on my reportcard to so i hope it will be a good metil. Its not to late too join the TZ Club anyone in the Twilight Zone is autamaticly in. Also thanks to G i finily understood my report card! Your coment come twice becase you are in the Twilight Zone and there are twoo of you now.

Kyahgirl: I like Miss Pansi she left a nice coment to me at Asinine News - I think it is safe to have her in the club because she doesnt have cooties because cooties cant live on plasstic.

First Nations: i will wrihte down these names I hope the books have lots of pictures.

G: I think she started screeming then they came and took her away. it was somthing like that said some other kids who saw. I always watched Get Smart it was the graetest show and Man From Uncel, and Mision Impossable and Hawaiia Five Oh so i know alot about fiting crimes.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

my coment got made twice to because there are two internetts. one is here and one is in the Twilight Zone.

Ariel: dont worry about indie. He better be nice too me becaus i know lots of secrits about him.

Anonymous said...

Bylaws, n. Laws that swing both ways.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Andrew: I heard about that that justise is blind if you can aford the glasses

Minka said...

sacada, count me in. Just let me know time and date and I´ll bring of of those birds that can´t fly! Penguins make lovely mascots :)

Doug, 29 comments and none of them from you?!
Everything curmudgeonly alright???

Anonymous said...

i loveloveloved the Man from U.N.C.L.E. (Illya Kuryakan was my favorite)...but nothing topped Get Smart. nothing.

and i think i'm better off in The Twilight Zone than that Black Rock Cave you wrote about...that was pretty creepy. (but in a good way)

Minka: those were my thoughts, exactly! xo

Indeterminacy said...

Doug? What is going on here? How did you get all this stuff. Why didn't I know about all this before?

actonbell said...

It's the twilight zone! Cool. I used to rush home from school to watch Dark Shadows, too.

Great by-laws, SACADA! I love the picture, too.

Unknown said...

Hi, everyone. My office internet is down, maybe until Friday so you all be sarcastic with each other during the days.

Minka, I bet I can still find it.

Puppybrose, what's this line about "organ harvesting?"

Minka, you'd do better feigning blondness.

Brian, nothing says romance like Costco.

Jamie Dawn, I finally figured out that with caps lock, typing S.A.C.A.D.A. is a lot easier. Consider me the Martha Stewart of the keypad.

O Ceallaigh, mitosis is always difficult.

Mireille, and he's a patriot, too. You should see the bridges.

Quill, I'm on my way to a board meeting. Any bets?

Thanks, Jenna. That was good for a grin.

G, isn't that the best part?

Sar, it's all about the bling-bling with you. The kid's trying to save the world.

Boy, thanks for moderating so well in my absence.

V.I., I think a mascot with an adult accessory on his head might not be the way to go.

Kyahgirl, whoever she is, I sure do.

FN, I'll be shocked if older S.A.C.A.D.A. never read them.

Ariel, if Indie's mean to S.A.C.A.D.A. we should boycott his site even more.

Hahaha, Andrew. Good one.

Thanks for asking, Minka. See above. My company currently owns three different routers (up from 1 this morning) none of which will connect me to the internet. Don't people realize how important I am to the disability community?

Indie, I have connections.

Thanks, Actonbell. My favorite home of all was the one down the hill from 6th grade so I could sneak home, crawl in a window and watch Twilight Zone during my lunch break.

OK, off to work some more, I'll check in on all of you later tonight. Be nice to the kid.

tsduff said...

S.A.C.A.D.A. - I'm so glad Icy didn't eat all your paperwork! Great review - I loved it. You do well for yourself.

Doug is a kind and witty host, isn't he - despite the scowling face he likes to present :-)

Anonymous said...

perhaps, in my haste to write something interesting and/or original(ish) i spoke too soon. according to one of my dictionaries:

BY in "Old Norse" was “a town or village” in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark and “a farm or landed estate” in ICELAND. Thus bylaw would mean “a body of customs of a village or manor” -- which is why the word is (was) used to mean “a law or rule governing the internal affairs of an organization.”

so, yeah... my comment to the Penguin was a bit of a stretch, but then, so are a lot of bylaws. (suddenly, i'm feeling all old and Nordic)

Logophile said...

Well, thanks.
Now my head is spinning, this is JUST what I needed.

Charlene Amsden said...


Just be happy you aren't on your way to a bored meeting. And remember, the odds always favor the house, don't show your cards unless you have to, and never bet more than you can lose. (I understand these rules apply to poker, too.)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

bylaws - Something by which no one seems to be governed anymore.

Alana said...

I loved this post!!

So usually I'm not the biggest fan of by-laws, put I triple swear to abide by these (I won't even steal ONE rock) if I ever get invited to a TZ,, I'll bring some cookies and stuff...I'm always good for cookies and snacks for meetings.

Is there like a secret hand shake you could let us in on?

Unknown said...

Terry, I am a gracious host. What's taking you so long?

Puppybrose, was baffled before and that didn't help.

Logo, Budweiser?

Quilldancer, it's a fine line. The difference netween a board meeting and a bored meeting is attendance.

Nope, Poobah. Nothing left but altruism to guide us.

Squaregirl, they even have early admissions for nerds.

Hobbes said...

Loved it, s.a.c.a.d.a.
Did you know that your handwriting and mine are uncannily alike?

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Inditerminancy: you didnt know becaus you over 30 yaers later.

Actionbell: i dont remember if i rushed home but shcool was out at 3:30 so proabably i did.

Doug: i think the twilight zone got into your computers now they are still down.

Tsduff: in the twilight zone you can eat somthing and the next day it is still there.

Logophile: round and round it goes and where it stops is the twilight zone. wellcome.

Omnipotant: i think there are lots a rules in the Twilight Zone you just can never know what they are

SquareGirl: i will write in the bylaws that you are geniral maniger in charge of cookies. Jamie brings truffels and marzipan it will be a good club. we dident have a secret handshake becos just secrit signals.

Weirsdo: i wish id a been in your class i would a got a A for my handriting.

Charlene Amsden said...

S.A.C.A.D.A. -- you should have been in my classroom. You would have liked it there.

Alana said...

Early admisson for nerds and I get to be gineral manger foR cookies, this is so my most amzingly favortist, special day!!!

No one ruin it by saying something adult and smart!


The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Quilldancer: I am sure wed a exshanged notes in class all day long at least thats what me and Jim did.

Squaregirl: I think i am pretty smart there are some B's on my report card.

Doug: You mispeled the titel of my book! It is Trils, Chills and Excitment" Not excitement!

Anonymous said...

Doug: me too.

S.A.C.A.D.A.: G.R.E.A.T. J.O.B. today (wait, that was yesterday because now *today* is today). oh, and i offered to bring cookies to meetings, too, only in this Twilight Zone Blogosphere we operate in, i did so on your site, which apparently you don't read.

: P

Unknown said...

Weirsdo, that must be Buckeye script.

S.A.C.A.D.A., you're one funny kid. Consider a place where the boy is father to the man and the man author of the boy. A place where a small plastic box filled with wires spreads sclerosis to humans. A place called, Waking Ambrose.

Quilldancer, is penmanship important? I could use a refresher on third grade.

Squaregirl, do you have a dog?

Gosh, boy. Already editing, innocence lost.

Puppybrose, he only goes when he can smell the cookies, I think.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

My mother said i have to say thank you if sombody does something nice and all of you made nice coments to me and alot of you want to join my Twilight Zone Club. I made a new post at my blogger and i will work up a new member list but bylaws shuold stay the same becaus they are good bylaws. Oh and Thank You now i have to go solve misterys and secrit missions now.

Unknown said...

My pleasure, Son. Thanks for being a great guest.

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, I don't do third grade. Sorry. If your penmanship is bad that is the year to return to, though. That's when they teach it.

I teach 5th grade. It is imperative to me that the kids I teach be old enough to understand sarcasm. It is also necessary that they be old enough to not freak when I pick up the stapler and say something like, "You gonna stop talking, or do you want me to stop you?"

The Mushroom said...

By-laws: The result of one person doing the writing and a group of other people standing around proposing ideas that they think would be beneficial to them, such as charging poll taxes or no girls allowed unless they take off some clothing. By-laws are not found in government, only in organizations that wish to influence or pretend to be government.

Unknown said...

Quilldancer, third grade didn't help my handwriting the other times, either.

Mushroom, welcome back and good definition. The scribe can sneak in some of his/her own, too.

Ariel the Thief said...

hey, Mushroom, I got lost after the 26th word. hope it means that you are terribly smart and not that I am terribly dumb... :-P

The Mushroom said...

Ariel: It means neither of those things. :) Is that your brother in your avatar?

Ariel the Thief said...

Mushroom, that is not my brother, although he wouldn't mind to be considering that those are not my feet.