Thursday, October 19, 2006

Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS, n. A strategem to throw an offender off his guard and catch him red-handed in his next offense.

2006 Update: A brave face around a simpering tongue.

61 comments:

Mutha said...

Foregiveness: One of the only biblical math questions, sometimes light on the logic but heavy on the intention.

a said...

Forgiveness: The inevitable remedy of the passage time, but works best when applied while all parties are still alive.

Sar said...

Forgiveness: It is better to forgive than to recede.

Solace Cai said...

Forgiveness: between lovers this takes the form of sex. First you argue, then you make up. Well, that's how it works for me at least...

SC

Old Mule said...

Forgiveness: The loss of memory of a loved one's idiocy.

puppybrose said...

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ~Mark Twain

much as i like this sentiment, what happens when you step in sh*t?

puppybrose said...

forgiveness: pliable

QuillDancer said...

forgiveness turning the other cheek and knowing it will be striked;
see also: resignation

karma said...

noblesse oblige (let them eat cake)

mgpmnt: gagging on mint

Old Mule said...

How do I get one of those fancy pictures by my comment?

brian said...

Forgiveness: I forgive my family.

puppybrose said...

Forgiveness: leverage

Joel said...

Forgiveness: Often the action of last resort.

mireille said...

Meh. The only reason I ever do it is because of karmic repercussions. Like I'd ever be wrong. xoxo

Miz BoheMia said...

Forgiveness... an art that does not keep on giving with cats that won't lick themselves clean... skidmarks on the floor, ie: GERMS, can kick compassion right on its behind I tell you! Especially with OCDish sisters of early onset curmudgeons. FO SHO!

Mutha said...

Love the Twain quote puppy...

Doug said...

Mutha, forgiveness>intention>behavior?

Actually, a, I find that the dead are the only ones who don't piss you off again.

Punny, Sar.

Solace, I believe you've invented a new form of communication. Why did I never think of that?

Or the appreciation of it, huh, Mule? I thought you were supposed to be stubborn.

Puppybrose, that's a grudge. Great quote. I don't remember hearing that one before. Maybe it just didn't stay with me.

Quilly, See also Magical thinking.

Karma, a queen's perogative.

Mule, first you need a place to host it. Flickr.com is free. You upload it there and copy the link into your blogger profile. Write me if you have questions.

Then the rest should be easy, Brian.

Heh heh, Puppybrose. Phase I in a blackmail scheme.

Joel, desperation.

Mireille, Karma appreciates it, I'm sure.

OCDish, Hermana? My dictionary has a new u-tube movie next to the word.

Kyahgirl said...

Bierce's definition really resonates with my inner cynic.

But Gary Zukav says it best:
Forgiveness is not a moral issue.
It is an energy dynamic...
Forgiveness means that you do not carry the baggage of an experience.
When you choose not to forgive,
the experience that you do not forgive sticks with you.
When you choose not to forgive,
it is like agreeing to wear dark, gruesome sunglasses that distort everything,
and it is you who are forced every day
to look at life through those contaminated lenses
because you have chosen to keep them.

oh, did I confuse WA with a self development site? Please forgive me.

*saunters out, stepping on Puppy's violets*

QuillDancer said...

forgiveness Luke 23:34

Tan Lucy Pez said...

So, is this your way of telling us that you forgive the things we said yesterday?

Your update is wonderful and true. But for someone like me, Ambrose is dead-on. I know that comes as a total shock to you.

Forgiveness: giving up resentment and vengeance. Also see As if!

Doug said...

Kyahgirl, that's all extremely reasonable, thoughtful and genteel. I bet you'd find a sympathetic audience over here.

Quill, you can have my socks.

TLP, no.

Kyahgirl said...

naughty Dawg!

Jenna Howard said...

Forgive me. I'm late getting here AND to work. I have one excuse...the dog ate my homework.

cj said...

Forgiveness: something that I've tried to do for some things and I just can't seem to fully do it. Its a challenge.

O Ceallaigh said...

FORGIVE, v. To double the begging, as when the pledge campaign for public broadcasting enters its second week, unannounced. FORGIVENESS: to make a pledge anyway.

Solace, your definition reminded me of the old folks at the retirement home, greeting a new member and letting her know what was, and what was not, cool.

"And above all, we don't talk about sex. What was, was."

[grumble]

Diesel said...

Post hoc permission.

The Village Idiot said...

forgiveness:
voting for the incumbent

QuillDancer said...

Doug, if the socks are clean, I'll take them. The air conditioning is still on here and it is currently 68 degrees in my classroom. That would be fine if we weren't all sitting still and quiet, taking a reading test. It's hard to concentrate over all the chattering teeth. These desert kids are used to much warmer weather and so is their sissy teacher.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Doug, NO? Pretty please? Sugar on top? *sniff* Ain't no way to treat an old lady...just sayin'

Doug said...

Arf, Kyah.

Jenna, blaming the dog? I can forgive tardiness.

CJ, it's a challenge for us all. No cheap grace.

O Ceallaigh, pretending that people who sob and beg are performing a public service is mercy itself. I agree.

Very good, Diesel!

Village Idiot, not if you vote to re-elect because you're still ticked at the other dude.

Quilly, I tied them to that kite.

TLP, after you said all those cruel things about me? All I ever wanted was to be a loving blogson and you stomp on my heart when I show it to you. Oh, ok.

cheesemeister said...

Forgiveness:
A way to feel superior to the jerk who screwed you over.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Thanks kid. Stomping on hearts is how I show love. See? I adore you.

qwjoqytui: uh,...if the word verifiers get much longer I'm gonna think you're tryin' to block me or sumtin'. You're not, are you?

Oh, great, now it claims I typed that in wrong...

Logophile said...

The price of continued human relations, both the glue and the WD-40 of friends and family, more difficult to earn than respect and for the wise more highly prized when freely given.

Sorry, hard for me to be snarky about this one, but I am quite enjoying the definitions that are.

Sar said...

Oh Bravo, VI! I have a soft spot for clever political snark if you haven't already noticed. ;)

G said...

Begging yours for showing so late and so lame.

As in the old Larry Bud Mellman commercial he asks "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me"?

Anonymous said...

There are so many wonderful definitions today--I'm impressed.

All I got is a Don Henley earworm.

I've been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore

Kyahgirl said...

I'm surprised no one has given this one (although Diesel is close):

Its easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Mutha said...

On the contrary Doug, there are several dead people who continue to piss me off by their continuing to be dead. Sometimes dying is a pretty unforgiveable act.

Doug said...

Cheesemeister, hammers work good too.

No, ma'am, TLP. Show me how to turn them off just for you and I will.

Logo, two flammable substances. Well chosen.

G, you don't need my forgiveness for either.

Actonbell, thanks for an earworm I don't know. Immunity is the finest forgiveness.

And easier yet, Kyahgirl, to demand obedience.

Well, Mutha, chronic suckiness is different from acute.

The Village Idiot said...

Its ok Sar, I forgive you

QuillDancer said...

Kyah -- I should have come up with that one since the teachers pretty much live by it here. In this school most rules get broken to the tune of, "gee, I didn't know," and it is sung by students and staff alike. Sometimes it's a toss up as who is teaching whom.

a4g said...

Forgiveness, n. In the troy weight system of measurement: 15 pennyweights (3/4 ounce).
[N.B.-- not to be confused with the Grand Forgiveness of the avoirdupois system, which is equal to 1.5 carats.]

puppybrose said...

Forgiveness: taking the high road in pursuit of a lofty perch (from which to watch everyone else burn in the pits of hell).

"To err is human, to forgive is divine." ~Alexandar Pope

Kyahgirl said...

Quilly, its the only way I manage to be productive.
:-)

Obedience Doug? If you heard I'm bossy its a foul falsehood. Of course, you're not allowed to check with my children on this one.

ariel said...

Puppy, the Mark Twain quote and the addition are just too funny!

tsduff said...

Forgiveness - What not a single one of us can live without.

G said...

Actually Doug I know that. It was my late lame attempt at participating. I hate to miss a party.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Forgiveness (n.) - Word commonly associated with disinformative language aimed at restoring the self-righteousness of politicians, preachers, and soon-to-be convicts.

Sophisticated Writer said...

Searching for forgiveness...

Looking...

Looking...

Still searching...

None found today. Please check again later!

I have forgiven so many people and things in my life that I have run out of forgiveness, Doug. You know, right?

Take care, good friend.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

forgiveness - A quality long yearned for, but seldom in evidence.

Minka said...

forgiveness: my grams once said the hardest thing to me that had me thinking about it for days. I was a rascal as a kid and got my siblings into lots of dangerous situations... one time I went over top and I saw the dissapointment in her face. I begged for forgiveness and she said:
"´cause I´ll forgive you, that is not the hard part...the problem is I will never be able to forget!"
That hit right home.

Karen said...

Forgiveness: something I'm getting better at and it's a good feeling. :-)

QuillDancer said...

forgiveness supposedly the same forgiveness we bestow upon others will be our eternal inheritance.

"Forgive me my trespasses as [in the same way] I forgive others ...."

Anonymous said...

Where'd you get "forgiveness", Doug? It isn't in the on-line editions of the DD.

Doug said...

a4g, and at 40 carats we have The Kobe

Puppybrose, better firepower through mercy.

Kyah, too late. I meet them in chat rooms.

Howdy, Ariel.

Terry, I'm working on that experiment as we speak.

G, it starts when you get here.

Zenfo, they're funny like that. I think we can all be glad that in the latest scandals they're all blaming each other.

Sure, sophisticated, but you'll find more. I hope your husband is well.

Poobah, some things you have to see to believe, some you have to believe to see, or so I've heard.

Ouch, Minka! She said that so you wouldn't forget, I think.

Karen, I'll turn a blind eye to it. You're still alright with me. Oh, and I note the conspicuous absence today. Him too?

Quill, sometimes in church I look around at the other parishoners during the Lord's Prayer and think, "I just wouldn't pray that way if you're going to be gossiping over coffee in 10 minutes."

Ah, Anonymous, glad you asked. Most of the online DDs contain the original published Devil's Dictionary. There's an Enlarged Devil's Dictionary which includes the original but to which a Bierce scholar named Earnest Jerome Hopkins added another 1200 or so words which Bierce had defined for the newspaper that hadn't been included in the collection. I use that version because, honestly, if I didn't I'd be half done already.

QuillDancer said...

Doug, let them gossip -- they can always ask for forgiveness later, right?

Karen said...

"Him too?"... YOU CRAZY!?! {grin}

Hey, was tryin' to be nice by not mentioning *him*.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Forgivniss: When mom doesent mind me steeling from the cookyjar.

a4g said...

Doug, I'm so glad to hear that there's an Enlarged Devil's Dictionary. For the better part of a year, I'd been convinced that I had forgotten more than I ever knew.

I feel ten years younger. (Though twenty pounds heavier.)

Doug said...

I agree, Quill, I just wouldn't ask God to forgive me as I forgive others while itching to run down self-same others. It's just bad contract language in that case.

Karen, I wasn't sure you could do it. Please accept my applause.

SACADA, that's DRUNKENNESS

a4g, was that you? It doesn't seem to be in print. I got mine from a used book dealer in England but since it adds to my blog I deducted the cost as a business investment.

QuillDancer said...

Doug, my reply was 100% pure sarcasm -- for which I would ask forgiveness, except I am not yet ready to repent. Gossip is not a vice I tollerate well.