Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The Rest Is Gravy
Mark your calendars, y'all. This week my special guest is Actonbell. I am whole. Waking Ambrose is complete. Actonbell was asked to define Roast.
ROAST, v.t. 1. to cook by exposing to dry heat, as in an oven or before a fire, or by surrounding with hot embers, sand, or stones. For instance, you can roast marshmallows, chestnuts, and coffee beans. When roast is a noun, it's pot roast, rump roast, and pig roast, but when it's an adjective, it's more like roast beef, roast turkey, roast chicken, roast duck, and roast peppers.
Or, so I've heard. I don't cook at all, can barely operate the stove, but could, if I wanted to.
2. To honor (a person) at a roast: that is, to affectionately and humorously dredge up all kinds of stuff in said person's past life to reminisce about and poke fun at.
Doug's inaugural Waking Ambrose post in Feb 2005 garnered just 4 comments, and now look at his fanclub! The following comments prove that this here blog is actually a longitudinal roast. That's a slow roast, done over a long period of time. Can we reminisce about any of these comments, or make up new ones?
General Observations about Doug:
Jamie Dawn: You are a man of many talents.
Karma: Breaking myths and predictions and all the rules, is only proof of how very special you are. And there was never any doubt about that.
Kyahgirl: You must be one of those robust fellows Doug because, judging by your posting schedule, you're up before dawn every day. Wait a sec....maybe you're one of those men of reason who doesn't go to bed til then?
Quilldancer:Doug, did you know that you were the second person ever to comment on my blog?
Sar: Electioneer - The civic duty that transforms my favorite blog dog into a volunteering human.
TLP: You little pyro!
Alice: in Wonderland Or Not- See Doug evolved due to auspicious circumstances ...there is no intelligent design.
about Doug's singing:
dddragon: I think he sounds MIGHTY fine.
Weirsdo: I vote that your voice is less annoying than Willie Nelson's.
Tom and Icy: Us doggies just love it when humans sing and I bet Willie and Walena are in heaven at your house!
His definitions and stories:
Pia: How can anybody top you or Ambrose?
Monika, who loves to be the first commenter: Now that was great and funny and also kinda smart! Maybe your DNA holds more than just food-related genes!!!
Mireille:Warmth AND charisma!!
Miz Bohemia: Thank you for the fun and the pearls of wisdom and for having me as a guest and for your brilliant stories and most of all, thank you for you.
a4g: Oh, and let me take this opportunity to bow to your always trenchant (re)definitions. We-who-soak-up your daily compliments too infrequently mention that mixed feeling of admiration, envy and resentment that accompanies the double barreled morning onslaught of wit from Bierce + Pascover.There. That will have to last you a year. It's all the mushy praise my black heart can muster
G: I have a feeling that you have elevated many of our vocabularies in more areas than we might admit in such genteel company.
Ariel:I've always known you're an attention whore, Doug...
Fred: Slide shows, music, gay bars, exchange student, foreign country, romance....
I loved it!
Shayna: So, ummm... will ya come and read a story to my son? Great story teller you are, Doug! ;)
Good Times! So. Let's get this roast in the oven...
About Actonbell: Actonbell, aka Rahs Speedy Gonzalez Pez, is a runner, beer-lover and the poet laureate of warehouse rats. She also holds the stamina record for being singled out for begging to do a guest post here. She'll still beat me in a footrace, but this morning I win. For those of you still assembling your Pez family trees, Actonbell is the daughter of TLP, the younger sister of Dddragon, the older sister of AP3, and aunt to Goa'uld and Bookworm all of whom took pity on me long before Actonbell. Her husband is Ekim Roadrunner Pez who occasionally lurks and seems only to show up to beat the rest of us at puzzles. By the way, if I were being fair I'd admit that Actonbell has long claimed that she wanted to be home on her guest Wednesday so as to graciously co-host and this is her first Wednesday off. But when was fairness ever funny? Let's continue.
Actonbell keeps two main blogs. Paradise Alley contains cultural insight and information, primarily about books, independent movies and magic. If any three of you read as much combined as Actonbell does, I'm impressed. Six of me don't. By my estimate, Actonbell reads 48 times as many pages per pound of body weight as I do. It shows in both her critical insight and her eloquent writing. When Actonbell likes a book, it always goes immediately into my Amazon.com waiting list and ends up gathering dust on my shelf. Fortunately, she seems to favor books with pretty covers.
Her other blog, Tempest in a Teapot is where Actonbell gets downright nasty. Well, imperfectly elegant, but let's be supportive. When Actonbell writes about work, the pseudonyms she gives her coworkers are funny by themselves, the stories always well-told and the writing smooth enough to make you think you're listening. One observation about the distance runner: many of us who started blogging around the same time seem to be slowing down and either posting less often or commenting less while Actonbell seems to be getting more enthusiastic and writing better, fuller posts more often. For that, Kudos from a blogger in decline and a beggar in triumph.
As for the roast, this was her idea and I have to say, I've survived harsher treatment than she gave me. Let's see how the rest of you do.
Actonbell was partially fictionalized in this story. There remains one adjective used more often than any other to describe Actonbell and for that I turn to her sisters and ask Actonbell to join me at the roastee's table. Have at us, folks.
How to be a guest on this site: You don't have to be a reclusive blogebrity to be a guest here. Email me at dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, I'll email you with a word to define and ask you to return a satirical definition and at least one graphic representing you and or your definition by the following Saturday. The rules are: No profanity, no novels and whatever I make up at the last minute.