Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Guardian
GUARDIAN, n. One who undertakes to protect from others what he is not ready to get for himself.
Thank God...*sigh of relief* Now I can actually read what today´s word is...Guardian? Such a pretty concept and then you update and the warm and fuzzy feeling is gone.
My little ones are going to respectively be a "shiny black witch" and a "shimmery white angel" (their Grammi hand made their adorable costumes according to their requests) . However, none of the kids here are allowed to wear their costumes to school. Shouldn't I, their mamma a.k.a. their GUARDIAN, have a say in that decision?! Oh this red state of mine. *sigh*
Guardian: he who has failed to stop me from doing stupid things on late nights with the probably-not-so-right person... (I just can't say it's the wrong person...)
When you're in the first grade, a guardian is the sweet sixth-grader who is a crossing guard. When you're 25, that sweet guardian has turned into a cop who busts you for DUI.
Guardian: The designated "older" friend whose lack of maturity allows him to be comfortable hanging out with teens like yourself and whose company allows you to attend 'R' rated movies without the embarrassment of a tag-a-long parent.
Hallowe'en! I'm going as Hello Kitty with pink ears and ... oh, I am not. Wish I was though. What's the word? Guardian? Oh, the designated driver when you trick or treat. You know, the one that stands on the sidewalk and makes sure they don't take you in the house and keep you. OOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooo xoxo
I could go on... my cousin A would be a witness to that as once, when kids and bathing together, I told her that I could talk nonstop if I wanted to for as long as we were in there and so I did... 30 minutes... how she put up with it I will never know...
And so now, this was your turn... ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa!
WAIT!!! If AP3 is your twin then was yesterday your birthday because I know you are a Scorpio and so I would be distraught, DISTRAUGHT, to have missed it and if not, then when, WHEN?
You are on the spot hermano! Don't break my heart and tell us your birthday!
For your sake, Puppybrose, I hope it's the fire thrower. True story: When I first moved to Atlanta it was my first time in an urban setting in many years and I wasn't sure I liked it. I worked nights in a restaurant and one of the other cooks was also a Georgia State student as well as a performance artist specializing in flame. One night he was freaking out (as you can imagine) and I asked him what his malfunction was. He said "The boss won't let me off until 10 and I have paper due tomorrow and a fire-swallowing at midnight and I haven't even bought the fuel! I don't need this!" I decided on the spot that urban living had an upside.
Cheesemeister, that's the guardee too.
Kyah, you be careful as well. Bunnies rule the night.
Quilldancer, you're thinking of TEACHER.
Mutha, I'm pinning back my ears and walking on my hind legs in clothes.
Cooper, to paraphrase, I think, Marlowe, it was a long time ago and besides, the cop is dead.
Diesel, flies and worms are all we have to fear.
g, perfect costume if that's what it is.
Miz B, thats twin figuratively. My birthday is a couple weeks off.
Guardian: The trusted body all blame is shifted to when one cannot be accountable for one's self. Perfectly acceptable for those below age thirteen, legally permissible for those below age eighteen, and somewhat necessary for citizens of advanced age or with certain disabilities, but for the general healthy adult population it's another way of saying "what I did is not MY fault".
Ariel: It's just a question of time -- and it's running out for you.
OC, keep pouting! I could apply some bird fodder on my little staue in teh garden and you´ll see what would come of it! ( a little inside joke nobody needs to analyze further!)
Kyah, I have done psychoanalyis for two years, it is not for me. I am textbook...cover to cover...all of it! And that explains only half of my actions!
Guardian-tonight, that's Ekim. He's guarding the M&Ms and making sure that the kiddies don't take more than one bag a piece, because he's getting the leftovers. It's his cut.
guardian I need one. Last year a grown man pushed his way into my foyer and stole all the candy. When he left I wasn't certain if I should be insulted or relieved. What I am certain of is: I won't be opening my door tonight.
apparently Sar's guardian angel OD'd on Hallowe'en candy, or she'd have A) beat me here to wish you Rabbit, Rabbit, and B) beat YOU to be commenter #47. oh well... better luck next time, right?
That is like a keeper, right? I'm constantly being told I need one of those. BUT, you know, there is a difference between really bad luck and an inability to look after oneself, there is!
You had an interesting definition. It is like someone slapping you on the back is actually practice for when they are gripping a knife. That will make a dog worry about being petted.
51 comments:
1st!
Thank God...*sigh of relief*
Now I can actually read what today´s word is...Guardian? Such a pretty concept and then you update and the warm and fuzzy feeling is gone.
Phew! Now that Minka's been heard from first, I can safely toss in a penny's worth of my own:
Guardian: How much is that
doggie in the manger?
Crack o'dawn today, Doug -- on the East Coast!
'Morning, Minka. :-)
Morning All!
Guardian - Guardian Angel - A loving spirit watching over someone or someplace. My angel carries hazard insurance! Que the duck! (AFLAC!!) D :)
Happy Halloween and Happy Blogger Anniversary to me.
I am with you Minka....warm a fuzzy then....pow!!!! Sort of like treat and trick.
Wow!!!!it is different being here so early :)
Al, Doggie in the Manger.....that's a new one for me. And 3:43AM is bedtime for some :)
Hi Al! *waves and grins* Beat you to it! ;)
Happy Halloween everybody!
Does that mean somebody made pie for me?
oh and teh position for my Guardian angel is still open. Please send applications to iamahazzardtomyself@hotmail.com
Happy Halloween!
My little ones are going to respectively be a "shiny black witch" and a "shimmery white angel" (their Grammi hand made their adorable costumes according to their requests) . However, none of the kids here are allowed to wear their costumes to school. Shouldn't I, their mamma a.k.a. their GUARDIAN, have a say in that decision?! Oh this red state of mine. *sigh*
Happy Blogivesary Roamin Mo'a! (I still can't believe we were both in Bermuda at the same time!!)
Minka, I'll see about having my my older one, the shimmery white angel, submit her application to you.
Guardian: he who has failed to stop me from doing stupid things on late nights with the probably-not-so-right person...
(I just can't say it's the wrong person...)
SC
Guardian: A benevolent presence of protection and guidance...unless you are a curmudgeon.
My kids are dressing as a Red Dragon (aka Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Tri-Wizard Tournament) and Albert Einstien. No...I'm not kidding.
Guardian: Exerted force of better judgement
Guardian: Court appointed Troll
Guardian: Shrubbery loving Knight who says "Ni", "Ekke, Ekke, Ekke, Ekke, Ptang, Zoo boing!" or, if necessary, "Nicky Nicky".
When you're in the first grade, a guardian is the sweet sixth-grader who is a crossing guard. When you're 25, that sweet guardian has turned into a cop who busts you for DUI.
They still guard, but the guardee changes.
Gaurdian: One who heads in first and is brought out last.
Happy Hallows Eve! Woooohooohooow...
Guardian: Ven they are gut, they look over, but when zay are bad, they overlook.
In honor of Halloween, I seemed to have picked up an accent this morning, comes from too little sleep.
Happy Blogaversary Mo'a!!! May you enjoy many more and bring many more dolls to us.
hehe-court appointed troll, that puppybrose!
(Sophomore/Junior High School definition)
Guardian: The designated "older" friend whose lack of maturity allows him to be comfortable hanging out with teens like yourself and whose company allows you to attend 'R' rated movies without the embarrassment of a tag-a-long parent.
happy anniversy Mo'a!!!
Hallowe'en! I'm going as Hello Kitty with pink ears and ... oh, I am not. Wish I was though. What's the word? Guardian? Oh, the designated driver when you trick or treat. You know, the one that stands on the sidewalk and makes sure they don't take you in the house and keep you. OOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooo xoxo
GUARDIAN:
1. (phr.) Your mother's admonition to look after your younger brother.
2. (n.) A shield behind which your adversaries take potshots at your other brother (see FIRE AT WILL).
'Appy Anniversary, Mo'a! Beware of one-eyed pirates.
Minka, I'm afraid all I can offer you is terra cotta.
All Saints Day is tomorrow. See y'all in church. What? NOT?!?!
:)
Minka, good to see you in your proper position. The internet is filled with warm and fuzzy blogs.
Al, I haven't made the adjustment to standard time very well yet. Which would explain any churlishness not explained by my personality.
Ha, Feline! Mine doesn't even get worker's comp. You should see the vet bills.
Mo'a, happy cyberversary! Actually, I'm a little surprised. "Guardian" never sounded comforting to me.
That's funny, Minka. I'm going to try that email.
Sar, how did guess A would be the witch?
Solace, it's an immutable law of nature that your first love is with the wrong person. Some people marry them anyway.
Mutha, that's terrific. Which is going as Albert?
There are no reformed reprobates, only unlinked ones.
Haha, Puppybrose. Good one. Then you had to go and channel Monty Python.
TLP, did they change or did you?
Mule, I think that depends on the continent. Wooooooooo to you too.
g, I think your mask is on crooked. What are T and J dressing as? I think Tali should go as an 8-year-old if she can pull it off.
Joel, a guardian is a future creepy dude.
Mireille, we didn't have those. In fact for some reason, every year mom made me a "To lease or buy" costume.
O Ceallaigh, your first definition is just a provocation. How is Ian?
Oh, and Mireille? You are too and you know it.
what can i say? some people are blessed with a guardian angel, while others are stuck with a fire throwing enchanter named... Tim.
which one do you suppose keeps a watchful eye over me?
Guardian: A covetous so-and-so.
Minka is a fierce guardian of the number 1 spot!
If you combine that with Bierce's defintion I think we could send Minka into a spate of psychoanalysis!
Happy Halloween Doug. Beware of nasty felines bearing leaves!
Guardian the person responsible for everyone else's mistakes
Doug: My Alpha Male is to be the Dragon. My Brainiac is to be Albert (his hero).
What are you dressing as Doug? My only claim to Halloween fame is my nails painted black. My husband is dressing as Ike Turner (run!).
I'm still a little taken aback and wondering If tlp has actually been busted for DWI.
Guardian: Best daily newspaper on the world wide web, or so they say.
A limp rag suitable only for defense against flies.
Thanks all straightened out. I overheard her talking to Julian about a box with toys and she would be...Dr. Skinner? Guess we'll see.
I've got nothing! I could say a clichéd thing such as "I am the guardian of my secrets" or some such crap but I won't because then I will feel stupid and I don't like to look stupid because it is embarassing and then if I feel embarassed my cheeks will turn red and I would rather they didn't and then...
I could go on... my cousin A would be a witness to that as once, when kids and bathing together, I told her that I could talk nonstop if I wanted to for as long as we were in there and so I did... 30 minutes... how she put up with it I will never know...
And so now, this was your turn... ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa!
WAIT!!! If AP3 is your twin then was yesterday your birthday because I know you are a Scorpio and so I would be distraught, DISTRAUGHT, to have missed it and if not, then when, WHEN?
You are on the spot hermano! Don't break my heart and tell us your birthday!
*SOB*
For your sake, Puppybrose, I hope it's the fire thrower. True story: When I first moved to Atlanta it was my first time in an urban setting in many years and I wasn't sure I liked it. I worked nights in a restaurant and one of the other cooks was also a Georgia State student as well as a performance artist specializing in flame. One night he was freaking out (as you can imagine) and I asked him what his malfunction was. He said "The boss won't let me off until 10 and I have paper due tomorrow and a fire-swallowing at midnight and I haven't even bought the fuel! I don't need this!" I decided on the spot that urban living had an upside.
Cheesemeister, that's the guardee too.
Kyah, you be careful as well. Bunnies rule the night.
Quilldancer, you're thinking of TEACHER.
Mutha, I'm pinning back my ears and walking on my hind legs in clothes.
Cooper, to paraphrase, I think, Marlowe, it was a long time ago and besides, the cop is dead.
Diesel, flies and worms are all we have to fear.
g, perfect costume if that's what it is.
Miz B, thats twin figuratively. My birthday is a couple weeks off.
Phew... I thought so initially but then doubts crept in and so...
Phew!
When?
:-)
Well now you're only fifteen
And you look good
I'll take you under my wing
Somebody should
(Martin L. Gore)
An angel who waits to whisk you away to heaven should you get hit by a bus.
Hermana, el doce de Noviembre.
Ariel, that's a clever and creepy lyric.
Jamie Dawn, that was brilliant!
Guardian: The trusted body all blame is shifted to when one cannot be accountable for one's self. Perfectly acceptable for those below age thirteen, legally permissible for those below age eighteen, and somewhat necessary for citizens of advanced age or with certain disabilities, but for the general healthy adult population it's another way of saying "what I did is not MY fault".
Ariel: It's just a question of time -- and it's running out for you.
OC, keep pouting! I could apply some bird fodder on my little staue in teh garden and you´ll see what would come of it! ( a little inside joke nobody needs to analyze further!)
Kyah, I have done psychoanalyis for two years, it is not for me. I am textbook...cover to cover...all of it! And that explains only half of my actions!
Guardian-tonight, that's Ekim. He's guarding the M&Ms and making sure that the kiddies don't take more than one bag a piece, because he's getting the leftovers. It's his cut.
guardian I need one. Last year a grown man pushed his way into my foyer and stole all the candy. When he left I wasn't certain if I should be insulted or relieved. What I am certain of is: I won't be opening my door tonight.
Mushroom, my guardian wrote today's update. And yesterday's. Definitely yesterdays.
Minka, I'm making a graph.
Actonbell, he's armed, right?
Quill, that's awful. Did you get the gummi bears again this year?
guardian - One who should only believe when there are not other choices.
Guardian: Someone who thinks they're old enough to control your life.
Happy Halloween, Doug. Watch out and take care.
It's me, Sophisticated Writer. Only disguised for Halloween.
Doug, I have a nice bag of soft chewy gummi bears right here. Please ignore the almond scent, it's my air-freshener.
Poobah, I find listening to no-one has served well.
SW, I almost didn't recognize you.
Great, Quill! They smell just like my favorite Kool-Aid.
apparently Sar's guardian angel OD'd on Hallowe'en candy, or she'd have A) beat me here to wish you Rabbit, Rabbit, and B) beat YOU to be commenter #47. oh well... better luck next time, right?
Rabbit, Rabbit.
That is like a keeper, right?
I'm constantly being told I need one of those.
BUT, you know, there is a difference between really bad luck and an inability to look after oneself, there is!
You had an interesting definition. It is like someone slapping you on the back is actually practice for when they are gripping a knife. That will make a dog worry about being petted.
Rabbit, rabbit, Neva.
Logo, you may be thinking of FINDER.
Thanks, Icy. Not to fear, you are the guardian.
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