Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Doctor
DOCTOR, n. A gentleman who thrives upon disease and dies of health.
2008 Update: The intermediary between an injury and a jury.
DOCTORn. medical professional whose office one drags one's self to when she is sick, coughing, hacking, snotting, fevering, etc. where she shivers in chilly, sub-zero air-conditioned discomfort for three hours past her appointment time while longing for her bed, only to finally see the doctor and be told to go home and go to bed.
Doctor: I would feel sorry for them if so many hadn't opted out of insurance and left their patients with no new doctor
Taking care of your health is hard enough. Finding a doctor shouldn't be one of 20 full times occupations denizens of Manhattan have
I'm in a very bad mood as my contractors wife left him for a psuedo cousin--and I can't be angry at my 23 year old contractor--but give him coffee and listen to his problems
I can't write this on my blog so I might leave comments giving small parts of the story on various blogs
I also assume workers are coming so get up at 6---and since I can't fall asleep until late am sleep deprived
Dr. Who...I met four of them...side benefit of having a Son who was once a teenager. Did you know that one of the Dr. Who's was a veterinarian?...thought that might interest some of your dog faced readers :) and all creatures great and small...such a Penguins.
What happened to all of the B and C words? Don't you like B's & C's? Are you not feeling well? I have a very good quack that makes dog house calls, cheap.
26 comments:
A game played by little kids. Big kids too.
Doctor: patient, post-cured.
Doctor: A guy who tells you to stop doing a bunch of things whilst he sports ample love handles & smells of tobacco.
"Doctor, Doctor, give me the news
I got a bad case of loving you!"
Not you - well sure in a blog-family sort of way, I guess.
Docter Fakakta (what Scissors calls most of our md's. We're in good hands).
What's with my fakakta spelling of doctor?
doctor - One forced to practice medicine by way of accountants and assorted charlatans.
DOCTOR n. medical professional whose office one drags one's self to when she is sick, coughing, hacking, snotting, fevering, etc. where she shivers in chilly, sub-zero air-conditioned discomfort for three hours past her appointment time while longing for her bed, only to finally see the doctor and be told to go home and go to bed.
Doctor: I would feel sorry for them if so many hadn't opted out of insurance and left their patients with no new doctor
Taking care of your health is hard enough. Finding a doctor shouldn't be one of 20 full times occupations denizens of Manhattan have
I'm in a very bad mood as my contractors wife left him for a psuedo cousin--and I can't be angry at my 23 year old contractor--but give him coffee and listen to his problems
I can't write this on my blog so I might leave comments giving small parts of the story on various blogs
I also assume workers are coming so get up at 6---and since I can't fall asleep until late am sleep deprived
what's up?
pihorn: frisky pixie
God created doctors so we don't have all those interesting diseases and injuries for nothing.
tlp stole my answer. -pouts- So what...I'm supposed to think of something medically clever?
Dr. Who...I met four of them...side benefit of having a Son who was once a teenager.
Did you know that one of the Dr. Who's was a veterinarian?...thought that might interest some of your dog faced readers :) and all creatures great and small...such a Penguins.
Ah Dr. Who! I loved him until they turned him into some young man. I am not buying tricks like that.
TLP, young curmudgeons prefer to play HMO.
Whatever doesn't kill you board certifies you, Puppy?
Jamie Dawn, I can out-hypocritize my doctor so I stopped going.
G, that's quaintly ethnic.
Poobah, is there a better word in English than "charlatans?" I think "Hitonious charlatans" might be the best phrase ever.
Quilly, there's no pill yet for foresight and common sense.
Pia, I'm honored to have you post here. For you there's no space limit.
Carrots, Karma.
Haha, Ariel. To give meaning to our wounds, God sent his only begotten son to suffer with us and Satan sent his entire brood to treat the symptoms.
Jenn, just wait'll they make a pill for pouting.
Mo'a you met four Whos?
Ariel, this is why you are wise among women.
Between injury and jury! You dog!
Warning: Going to the doc can cause side-effects: poverty after getting the bills.
Every emergency room should feature this:
"If in need of immediate medical assistance, please contact the golf course closest to you."
Remember your guest Wednesdays? (Of course you do.) Well, Pia could guest tomorrow. Give her a word.
I must need a head doctor. I forgot to yell FIRST!
Yes!!! and I was not the first.
I think Ariel has hit it on the nose!
Icy, my Vet's attention has the same effect.
Minka, that's funny. Any idea what Dentists are into?
Actonbell, cashectomy by catheter?
What's that, young lady? Social Jest Windys? I don't recall no social jest windies.
Mo'a granted.
Then she'll need an ENT, Kyah.
old curmudgeons play sick in bed.
doctor: a licensed chemist.
What happened to all of the B and C words? Don't you like B's & C's? Are you not feeling well? I have a very good quack that makes dog house calls, cheap.
What do you call the person who finished last in his class at med school?
Doctor.
I herd abuot inditermdiary he wanted to play docter with Pansi!!
Mule, for want of a reagent, a corruption was lost.
Thanks, Nessa, does he treat apian patients?
True, Weirsdo. The humanities are much more discriminating.
Boy, he might have to go to heaven for that.
TLP's first answer was best.
Dr. Livingston I presume? I actually like Dr. Watson much better.
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