Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Electric Privet

It's said good fences make good neighbors
And it's our neighbor we'd amend.
It's nevermore our thoughts or labors
For which we stand condemned.

But staying home on Friday night,
Comfort food and entertainment,
And voting either left or right
As witnessed at arraignment.

Get up and go to sleep quite early,
Open doors for ladies, do your work,
Have faith in life beyond the pearly,
And count yourself an average jerk.

And, still, the social networks hum,
With verdict, judge and virtues,
O'er sinful deeds, done and undone
And upholstery you choose.

So if you'd run a quiet course
Not mistrusted nor found wanting,
Know howling as the strongest force
Behind the constant haunting.

Never post on where you've been.
Don't tweet your daily labors.
In this new world of strife and sin,
Bad connections make good neighbors.
-Mammonides

FACEBOOK, n. A robotic gossip.

22 comments:

weirsdo said...

Very true.
I suppose you mean "privet" as in "privet hedge," but I think there's another analogy to be made between privet and Facebook et. al. in view of the invasive nature of the plant, and the way it sets up unwanted hedges and aids and abets kudzu down here.

tsduff said...

Facebook: (1)The hypnogourd that ate my brain; (2)The thief that kidnapped me away from my blog; (3)Gateway to Fairyland

I tried looking up the great Mammonides without any luck. Anyone you know?

Mo'a said...

Very wise words Mr.Philosopher.
Facebook: I love that I have a connection with my family from far and wide...not sure I like it in such a public forum.
Not into the games...or the gifts...however, different strokes.
I live in my own Fairyland...so don't need to go to one on Facebook.
I must say, there is probably more to it than meets my eye...I am a terrible Facebooker.
I tweet a lot but not on Twitter.

Karen said...

I agree. Twitter is a whole new frontier and it seems the entire world it still learning its correct usage. For example, far-right Andrew Brietbart [he runs Breitbart news service and is a Drudge protege] and far-left Media Matters for America are in the middle of a war. They hurl 140-character insults at each other all day long. Breitbart has 15,000 followers and Media Matters has 13,000 followers. That's a lot of insults. In fact, here's Breitbart's bio:

"If you don't like the occasional vulgarity, or expletive, my Twitter feed may not be to your standards. I have to cover the sickening freaks at Media Matters".

On the other side of the spectrum are organizations like NASA and National Geographic. Also local news and blogs like Southern Fried Science. Plus, you can save links on the twitter feed. Personally, I've gotten good story ideas from it. In fact, I'm starting one right now. Well, as soon as I finish posting this comment.

I used to use Facebook a lot more than I do now.

TLP said...

Good job today.

Facebook: Just buy a megaphone and go to the town square and make your announcements.

Thom said...

FACEBOOK, n. Did it Don't do it now. Some Farm game? LOL

I really enjoyed this today :) I would have never thought about this until I read it Excellent

Karen said...

~
Yeah, Thom. Most blogs are just fun and games. Really, most don't amount to a hill of beans in the long run. I mean just look at your blog. Riddles and stuff. I have been there once. All we ended up doing is hurling insults at each other. And now Grandpa Jim will follow me and leave a brilliant comment, which in its odd way, he will think is an insult. And on and on and on. It just gets really boring. Well, I'm done leaving a comment rant. I have to get back to work.
~

quilly said...

Karen, Thom is kind, friendly, warm-hearted and doesn't run around the blogosphere insulting people and hurting their feelings to get attention.

FACEBOOK, n. inane

Logophile said...

Non-communication of a form of affection?

Could make life easier.

Jim said...

Doug, I don't do Facebook (or Twitter). Mrs. Jim does Facebook to check on the kids. It's weird to have a kid for a friend.

Rabbi Moses Mammonides (1125-1204) – Born in Spain, also lived in Morocco, Egypt. (A Google find)
..
Karen, I believe you are right. I tell people I write about my dog, my kids and grandkids, travelng, eating and a few memes. Then once in a while about something else that strikes my fancy.
I don't like doing the memes. Anyway that is all kinda boring to most.
My other blog has some of my poems and pictures, they aren't very interesting either.
..

actonbell said...

Great poem. I definitely have mixed feelings about fb--it can be a very useful tool, but it can also be an absurd time-waster. Well, everything except lexulous. That's cool.

facebook, redefining the term "friend."

Lila said...

Can I "friend" you, then?

Cooper said...

that was wonderful dear dawg.

I stopped using fb as a freshman in college - it was different then,

Now our family has one and it's the only one I participate in. I do have twitter but hardly know what to do with it - though I just tweeted your poem,

sauerkraut said...

Facebook is really handy when you want to find things out about people you do not like or ever want to meet. It is, in a manner of speaking an electronic outhouse.

Flush when done!

Nessa said...

Karen: Both Thom and Jim are wonderful people. You on the other hand...could we all get so lucky as to have you stop visiting us?

Nessa said...

Love your poem Doug. I am a bad fb friend which I don't think is much of a failing.

T13 - Kindle Krazy

Doug said...

Weirsdo, I didn't know that about privets. I was once compensated for planting a row of privets alongside a house in Georgia, but wasn't around to see the debacle that must surely have followed. As you say, I had a tall and neat hedge in mind.

My invisible friend, Terry, or my other invisible friend. I bet George has a few as well. (I made up the name by combining Maimonides, the medieval Jewish philosopher and Mammon, the Hebrew spirit of greed.)

Haha, Mo'a. I can imagine you as an analog tweeter.

Karen, that was a fun description but I'll take your word for it.

Right, TLP, that's my thought. A megaphone and some dirty undergarments tied to a pole.

Thom, the whole blogosphere is here to make you think in exchange for your comforting amity.

Karen, I hope the work went well, anyhow. I see Thom's blog as colossal group hug with just a touch of friendly spitting. That's a fine service to provide friends and strangers.

True, Quilly, both regarding Facebook and Thom. Although he's pretty free with a "pffft," you gotta admit.

Much, Logo.

Jim, I enjoy your blogs, although I sometimes forget about the poetry one. As an aside, I much appreciate your equanimity.

Right, Actonbell, as "n. Stranger."

Any old time, Lila. Just not on Facebook on account no account.

Well, thank you Coop. I'm flattered. If I were on Facebook, I'd friend your family.

Brother Sauerkraut, I thought you were a country boy. You don't flush an outhouse, the flood does that.

Nessa, let's all tend to our own good natures, ok? I agree that being a bad fb friend is a small failing. Being a good blog friend is a fairly minor virtue as well.

Just to comment, I generally delete comments which seem personal, hostile and/or unprovoked but today wouldn't be sure where to start or finish and besides that, I had spam which is a compulsory deletion.

I would recommend that if you are going to tweak someone, you know them well enough to know how they'll take it. I would also recommend that witnessing said tweaking, it is better not to react too strongly. I would not recommend that before you tweak someone you know how their friends are going to take it. We share our blogs with people we barely know and often barely understand. That's what blogs are for.

Thom said...

Mahalo Doug I appreciate your comment. I do apologize if I have offended you or any of your regular readers in any way here. I'm very off beat and say what's on my mind and probably 99% of the time don't respond with the words that you use correctly but I just say what I feel. I can't make an apology for Karen. I think I do remember the comment she left and my response but I can't tell you word for word what it was all about but I do know she left a comment on my blog that I will respond in kind when something that she said is done. That being said I can't be bothered with pettiness like that.

Doug said...

Thom, it's pretty hard for me to see how you could have offended anyone here. Be well and enjoy the steady breeze blowing harmlessly across Hawai'i. The only rules for language usage on this blog are: avoid explicit descriptions and no profanity cruder than "son of a bitch." You're good.

Karen said...

"Ironically, Facebook is a friendly neighborhood place."

Doug said...

Is it, Karen? Who are you quoting?

Karen said...

Well, Doug, I normally don't reveal 'privileged information.' But if you'd like me to copy and paste our entire email conversation (dated 3/10/2010), I'd be happy to oblige.