Monday, March 15, 2010

Satan

SATAN, n. One of the Creator's lamentable mistakes, repented in sashcloth and axes. Being instated as an archangel, Satan made himself multifariously objectionable and was finally expelled from Heaven. Halfway in his descent he paused, bent his head in thought a moment and at last went back. "There is one favor that I should like to ask," said he.
"Name it."
"Man, I understand, is about to be created. He will need laws."
"What, wretch! you his appointed adversary, charged from the dawn of eternity with hatred of his soul — you ask for the right to make his laws?"
"Pardon; what I have to ask is that he be permitted to make them himself."
It was so ordered.

2010 Update: The infernal dedicatee of Ambrose Bierce's dictionary, and reference books in general.

19 comments:

Indeterminacy said...

Happy Ides of March - was that Satan's birthday?

NicoleB said...

Satan ~ an invention of the catholic church to make God look better

Mo'a said...

That explains it...but how do you explain Wall Street?
On further reading...I think I do understand, but would like your take on it.

Jim said...

Considering all don't you think we've done quite well for ourselves? :) :)
..

actonbell said...

The Church Lady's favorite subject!
(where's The Little Bar of Soap?)

quilly said...

SATAN, n. the darkness in my own soul which longs for chocolate and unsavory pursuits like blogging as opposed to housekeeping, and scorns whole meals and activities, especially those involving exercise.

pia said...

quilly--if your definition defines Satan we're all in deep trouble
Now Bierce's definition is positively brilliant, and Doug's was too clever for his own good--I'm so slow it took me a good 30 seconds to get it

Anonymous said...

as good an excuse
as any
the devil made me do it

could as easy say
it was gods' will

peace & blessings

sauerkraut said...

satan, n., Dick Cheney.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

satan: My new BFF.

TLP said...

Satan: that part of ourselves that we like to blame for our own evil thoughts and deeds.

cooper said...

Satan: can't be all that bad - it brought indie back.

Ariel the Thief said...

Satan, the wolf I am not supposed to feed but gosh, it practically lives on ANYTHING.

Anonymous said...

as stated above
even with our best
thoughts
crap can seep in

hey found a nice place in the east
..........................................................................do not wish ..disturd...peace

Doug said...

why, by golly, Indie, it's good to hear from you. Apparently, the Ides of March is when ghosts roam.

That was clever, Nicole. Devilishly so.

Mo'a, it was named for the defensive wall which used to run there.

Suspiciously so, Jim.

Actonbell, she went hippy is how I hear it.

Quilly, you're probably thinking of "stomach." People confuse nourishment with the Devil all the time.

Pia, I was going for a 20 second gag but got off to a slow start.

That's a subtle point, Bear. You must have been just the right amount sober.

Sauerkraut, to the best of my knowledge, the Devil has a whole heart.

Not that new, I wouldn't think, Poobah.

TLP, I prefer to blame my blogmother for raising me poorly.

That's what I'm saying, Cooper. That must have been some black sabbath.

Hahaha, Ariel. She who keeps the devil has a friend forever.

A nice place in the East, Bear? Not Sacramento, I hope.

TLP said...

I did so too not.

Doug said...

No you did not so did.

Ruth said...

Ambrose Bierce was a genius.

Brittney said...

And people think the Master has no sense of humor.