The mountain from which Henry fell
Was three miles high. Four from hell.
But the spot from which he left the side
Was merely inches from the tide.
Nonetheless before he made contact
He pictured headlines on the rack
And finally was not disappointed,
For Henry had been news-anointed.
The Wall Street Journal and CNN,
The London Times and countless pens
on countless blogs with pseudonyms,
And countless priests in between hymns
Devoted endless lamentation
To Henry's airborn pirouation.
Every eye to which some sight remains
Saw proof of his unmortal pain
In featured shots of his scraped knee
Captioned "The Erosion of Celebrity."
NEWS, n. pl and sing. Formal information formatted for the infernally uninformed.