Wednesday, November 14, 2007


One old cowboy was out one day driving a herd
With his boss, boss's son and dog named Dale.
The crew and kine moved, without moo, bark or word,
Easy, somber and slow down the trail.

A few dark clouds gathered and a chill filled the air
And the old cowboy pulled tight his serape.
The foreman pulled his hat low on his hair
But the young feller yelled at his pappy.

"I ain't paid for this crap and won't ride in a cyclone!"
Though no drops yet smote critter nor cowhand.
"We'll all die from lightning, damp butt and cold bone,
Or from drowning here, miles from plowed land."

The foreman said "Son..." but the boy kept on cussing
And Dale yipped for agreement or fun.
Coyotes yelped back, and the cows started fussing,
'Til some choice words put them to the run.

The trail was a tempest, though rain never came down,
The foreman was kilt trying to turn the stampede.
The boy fired his pistol trying to reach dad on the ground
'Til a bad shot dropped him from his steed.

Dale found a new home where they preach the LORD's glory,
And tend to his comfort and spirit.
The old man's still riding and telling this story
And it's funnier each time you hear it.

A line was cut off, a cowherd was lost, 
There's a lesson, if you're willing to barter:
Pour me some whiskey, and I'll tally the cost
Of mist on the cheek of a martyr.

STAMPEDE, n.  The disagreeable in harmony.


Miz BoheMia said...

Well, I beat the stampede and am first! FIRST!!!!!!

Minka said...

bad things happen when people jump the gun ;)
I am glad the dog is ok, though!

stampede,n. the rush of impluse

Jamie Dawn said...

At least Dale found a good, Christian home.
Bless his canine heart.

That is a fun, yet mildy disturbing poem.. with the death and all. I'm assuming the boy was kilt as well after falling off his horse and since Dale was gived away. I'm envisioning death by stampede after he fell from his horse.
Hmmmm... death by stampede... I've never seen that depicted in a horror film.

Chris Beason said...

I like the last part...There's a a lesson, if you're willing to barter: Pour me some whiskey, and I'll tally the cost Of mist on the cheek of a martyr.

Quilly is something. Glad she sent me to your blog!

Anonymous said...

Stampede: 10 days of cowboys, rodeo, beer (sometimes free) and free pancake breakfasts. Yeehaw!

Fantastic poem. I like poems about guns and whiskey.

Anonymous said...

'Tis the season for the annual stampede to the mall. NPR says spending on consumer goods is down and spending on gasoline is up. Hello?

Anonymous said...

And it seems I missed your birthday. Sigh. Let's blame Cuba.

So Happy Belated Birthday!

40 huh? Wow. Old. I guess you can get rid of that "early-onset" before curmudgeon now.

Kyahgirl said...

I'm with Jenn, both on the rodeo (Calgary Stampede) and the belated birthday wishes.
Happy birthday my friend. Now don't you go tellin' the young'uns that it ain't so bad on the other side of 40! They'll be stampeding over the hill to join us!! :-)

Ariel the Thief said...

You are that man, aren't you? I liked your story, and happily pour you some whiskey.

Young men can make even the promise of a cyclon deathly, I heard about that. Your poem reminded me of Bierce's short novel, "Jupiter Doke, Brigadier-General".

Ariel the Thief said...

I mean, when I hear the word "stampede", that short novel comes to my mind.

Anonymous said...

"Um, dude?"


"Not so loud, dude, you'll frighten the dogies."

"What doggies? You ain't gonna cow me, dude."

"No way, dude, I'm just tryin' to steer you out of trouble. What are you doing, anyway?"

"Sending mail, dude. What's it look like?"

"With your feet?"

"41 cents a lick. The Post Office should try it. Save a whole lot of wear and tear on the wrist."

"Yech. Don't send me no letters, dude."

"Hey. They're just bills."

Doug The Una said...

Miz B, I thought those were hooves.

Minka, every excitement is a mini stampede.

Nope, JD. You have to watch westerns or listen to Utah Carroll.

Thanks, Annette. Quilly's indeed good peoples.

Jenn, I know when the Calgary Stampede's in town because I see you on CNN.

Quilly, that's diligent reporting, isn't it?

¡Pinche Cuba, Jenn! (cussing is ok in Spanish, I sez) y gracias.

Kyah, I can't even get my dad to join me.

Ariel, I haven't read it. I just might this evening. Thank you!

Great dialog, Amoeba.

Anonymous said...

Why did I think you were 40 last year? Because you're so mature

I gave you an award. As you use words at a genius level, and for more reasons I will explain in January when I will give the first and last Courting's.
Don't rush in the stampede to get it :)

Happy belated birthday

tsduff said...

Caint hep it - stampedin makes me think of Utah Carol

Did you write that son? Pretty good.

TLP said...

Mighty good saw Dawg.

The OE said...

Stampede: A creepy post office with a lot of legs

Jim said...

Poor dog. Too bad he did't live the life of Ambrose or Adi.

Would you rather be run down by a stampede or an avalanche?

Doug The Una said...

Exactly, Pia. I function a whole year ahead.

Me too, Terry. Note my comment to Jamie Dawn. Good of you to provide the lyrics to those who can't sing 'em by heart.

Thanks, TLP. Just don't call me late to supper.

OE, you secret agents are creative punsters. Must be the code talking.

The theoretical one, Jim.

Anonymous said...

It's why I'm usually last - avoiding the daily stampede to Waking Ambrose.
All t hose disagreeables trying to get here first. ;)

Miz BoheMia said...


Anonymous said...

*raises limp arm after regaining conciousness/sits up after spending night on the floor/shakes head*

you have no way of knowing and/or believing this, but i coulda been first to comment on this post, were it not for the fact i was knocked down by a number of anxious-yet-aggressive -- and yes i lovelovelove 'em all, but jeez, Louise, watch where you're goin' -- bloggers!

not kidding. ; )

Doug The Una said...

Cooper, bring the harmony later.

Pah, Miz B

Neva, that's why you should blog armed.