Wednesday, April 16, 2008

In the land of ten thousand crimes

The Senator's all-seeing eye
Caught Billy making Susie cry
By lifting a worm from the dirt
And putting it down Susie's shirt

"Behold, the savage heathen's nature
Shames us all whene'er he imitates her
And when it calls the boy to assault by slime
Who can doubt the girl has suffered by this crime

"So I'll propose some legislation,
Binding all across the nation
To ban the boyish, cruel soul
That by malice we have come to know.

"There ought to, will be, must be law
Against such depraven craven foofaraw."
In fact there's twenty statutes, maybe more,
From each time Billy was caught before.

OUTRAGEOUS, adj.  Grandly galling to petty pols and princes.


TLP said...

This is my favorite of your Wednesday poems. Unless I've forgotten one. Or more.

That would be outrageous.

TLP said...

By the by, why do boys do that???????

TLP said...

Win, place, and show! Now, that's outrageous. Yea me!

Anonymous said...

Too many examples of outrageous to be able to focus on just one, but tlp cracks me up.

Never did the worm-down-the-shirt thing... maybe I'm not quite idiot enough?

Anonymous said...

foofaraw seems like a nice word.

does it come with a nice shiraz? or is it a white wine word?

Anonymous said...


out -- excluded from the group

rage -- anger or passion

o' -- contraction "of"

us -- the in group

IF it is OUTrageous, it must be an anger or passion NOT accepted by the in group.

G said...

There seemed to be so many more caterpillars to fall (or be placed on) your back when we were young.

Outrageous: the feeling experienced when the caterpillar landed; quickly followed by jumping about and flailing arms. Thanks for the memories.

Doug The Una said...

TLP, I always had faith in you. Three horses, I told myself, when we met.

Sauerkraut, lack of idiocy is your deficit, complete ignorance about wine is one of mine. Which one is the blood of the savior?

Quilly, that's so apt I don't think you're joking.

G, I'm here to serve.

Jamie Dawn said...

Susie should have projectile vomited on Billy.
That would have put a stop to his OUTRAGEOUS behavior.

Anonymous said...

Doug! Are you trying to say that there are people who will spend time and money proclaiming on petty things, while weapons fly, homes fry, economists fie, and people die? That's outrageous! We the People would never tolerate such a ... oh, hello, Mr. Specter. What? Nothing ...

Anonymous said...

Outrageous prediction:

And so it goes on from year to year,
With naught but elections and lawsuits to fear--
Until down from his lab like god from the machine
Comes a pusher with drugs that are legally clean.

He scatters largesse the senator's way
and also pays doctors to quackingly say,
"Just take this pill Billy--it's quite a doozy!
Soon you will be as angelic as Suzy!"

Cooper said...

And so we should be outraged, that we are not is outrageous.

Doug The Una said...

JD, that is quick thinking for a girl.

Amoeba, that looked like a piece from The Onion. No problem on FISA, though.

Weirsdo, thank you for finishing.

Cooper, I'm too old for outrage. So is Senator Clinton although she pretends otherwise.

tsduff said...

Funny poem Doug. My brother preferred to use snails. He was outrageous. Still is.