Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
2008 Update: A child's toy with a lethal bite, locally manufactured and without batteries.
At least there won't be a recall for lead paint purposes. Just the poison part might be a problem as I think about it...
And first, at this late hour?
I'm second? How can this be? Was everyone bitten by a rattlesnake?
Pft! There are no children's toys without batteries!
HA! A child's toy indeed. When he was a teenager, my brother came home with 10 babies - after shooting the two adults as they came out of a hole. We fried them up in butter and ate them. Tasted like chicken.
RATTLESNAKE, n. An indigenous American reptile famous for its ability to poison one's aspirations. An unsuccessful candidate (see also TURKEY) for the position of National Emblem, it having lost the election to a feathered kinsman, the assaults of which are precipitated only by appetite.
Rattlesnake: Demands respect
Rattlesnake: Gets no respect
Rattlesnakes "do not lay eggs in nests. They actually give birth to live young. This type of reproduction is known as ovoviviparous."
per San Diego Zoo Web site,
Great definition, Doug, I love it.
Terry, I hope to have dinner in your house one day.
I should have known I was meant to be a hick because my dad gave me the rattle of a rattlesnake to play with when I was little. I was fascinated by it!
I'm packed and about to head out the door.
When we arrive in Savannah, I will try to hide my hickness, and do my best to look like a serene, genteel, southern lady.
G, not to diminish the august accomplishment but the race for first ain't what it was around here.
Jenn, should have been but the post office isn't as reliable as it used to be.
Quilly, I think people should just give kids batteries.
Terry, that's what everyone says. I tend to leave them as mulch.
Amoeba, don't you suspect the committee was weighted towards the balding?
Jim, that little datum is oddly fascinating.
Thanks, Ariel. Bring paprika to Terry's.
Safe travels, J.D.
Rattlesnake (n)cold-blooded political appointee within state or federal governments. ...Would hope that you carry pocket snake bite kit on your walks,asfor the other,there are the courts...Well another day in paradise,hope yours was/is the same...peace
no one said james carville yet.
what's the matter wid pee pole?
The only child I could see in this predicament would be you dawg.
" ... the committee was weighted towards the balding?
SSSsssssssssss .... Bad dog! Bad!
Anonymous, I take an anti-venin before every post.
Sauerkraut, that's an insult to rattlesnakes.
Not everyone, Cooper?
Actonbell, absolutely. All the cool kids have asps.
Oh yes,a day of pondering--back at trevi fountain(rome)a street vender(maybe gypsy,though not sure what that means)twin ovals/eggs of unknown metal,highly magnetized---Advertised as rattlesnake eggs---Hidden mission to destroy your credit cards(plop them in your back pocket ,next to wallet.also can raise the devil with lap top.....when "eggs" are held together,they product a harmless rattle,as rock on rock...Thank you for the nice memory-gosh maybe lemoncello,is in the future...Peace and a fine Evening :-)
Snakes of all kinds are too horrible to talk about. They really, really rattle me.
I actually do like rattlesnakes - I once had to urge my pinto past a rattler too big to ignore... biggest one I think I've ever seen....actually threw a rock at it to encourage it to move along so we too could pass on the fireroad.
damn still a pondering--anti-venom???thought this was a FDA approved site---remember one never gets close to knowledge without imagination,its your job to sort ;-)
Bear, have a glassful on me.
TLP, I wondered if anything rattles you.
Terry, horses and rattlesnakes can be a tricky proposition, I know.
Bear, I sort of sort.
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