Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Grinching tips for the recession

When money's tight in hardship's dark hour,
With gifts too dear for giving or snatching
It's hard on the merry and the dour
Here are hints to make grinching relaxing.

Plastic toys, you can break at home yourself,
Making young children feel justly like fools-
Blame the damage on a foreign-born elf
And translate the package to MagyarĂșl.

Under the Christmas tree, I'd try setting
Pretty boxes filled with wrapping paper.
Rather than tinsel, string chits from betting
And seal up the stockings with a stapler.

The spirit can flourish, broke though you've grown,
By spiking the eggnog with acetone.
-Brunhilda N. Tepes

CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENT, n. A decoration on a hook, symbolizing the season.


Jim said...

"... seal up the stockings with a stapler ..."
I do that already. I can also fix holes in pant's pockets with the stapler and a temporary fasten job when a button falls off.
Speaking of fasinate, did you hear about the chesty woman whose buttons she could only fasten eight (of the ten she had)?

TLP said...

That Brunhilda. In top form today.

Christmas Tree Ornament. Gilding the lily. A tree is lovely enough.

Jamie Dawn said...

Acetone eggnog... BLEK!

I would not make a good Grinch or Scrooge. I prefer to sprinkle magic fairy dust.

Lambchop makes a great Christmas tree topper. We have proved this.


Anonymous said...

There are a few I could think would like the eggnog recipe

quilly said...

You may have my share of the egg nog, thank you.

Christmas Tree Ornament -- all that glitters is ultimately hollow.

TLP said...

Wish I'd said that Quilly.

Tom & Icy said...

I was thinking that, too: pretty and shiny on the outside, hollow and empty on the inside, and completely useless; just like most personal blogs.

Hobbes said...

Decorative or not, we're all on the hook this time of year.

cooper said...

This is my most restful time of year.

Live the Grinch-y poem.

That eggnog with acetone....will probably see that on the news soon - "mother spikes eggnog with acetone ten children die".

Merry Christmas


Doug The Una said...

Jim, I think you might need a vacation.

I like trees, too, TLP. They're smart!

JD, we each have our purpose. You sprinkle, I spike.

Thom, I thought so, too. Call it a "Santa Clarita."

Amen, Quilly. You want something solid, find something dull.

TLP, go on and take the credit.

True enough, Icy. But at least mine has an anthem.

Yeah, how does that happen, Weirsdo?

Yep, Coop, and the CNN ticker will add "Are blogs lying to you?" Merry Christmas.

Ariel the Thief said...

I've just noticed the family name of the poet. Old grinching family indeed.

Doug The Una said...

Ariel, I really expected you to catch that, coming as you do from similar stock.