"He just gave them the apple?" the Senator bellowed, puffing on a pipe filled with dried populist.
"Yes," explained the serpent, curling cozily around the senator's elbow, "Of course. It was a trick so that his victims would rebel against God."
"And what," the senator asked, expelling two draughts of smoke that curved like horns, "did the couple do for your great-granddaddy after that?"
"Well," answered the serpent while repositioning his head atop the senator's soft thigh, "not much, to be honest. Mostly they went into exile and chased us with sticks."
The senator sat up slowly and petted the serpent in his lap, "that's my point!" The senator jabbed a finger aimlessly toward heaven. "You must have a purpose in mind to be sly. A quid pro quo! A cui bono! Nota bene-" Here, the senator lit a cigar filled with leaves of optimist from the heat of his pipe and blended the smokes in his mouth before gasping, "I would have hid the apple and denounced the tree of knowledge as barren and assured myself the votes of Adam and Eve as well as the worship of their descendants.
FAUSTIAN, adj. Filibuster-proof.