The Surveyor Looks Back

Episode 39 of 40 (plus an epilog) in The Meditations of Diogenes The Cynic.

To hear the story, come just a little ways out of Tyre

Measure thoughtfully.

The Surveyor's Song

Acclimated

ACCLIMATED, p.p.  Secured against endemic diseases through having died of one.

2007 Update:  Distracted.

Appeal

APPEAL, v.t.  In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

2007 Update:  n.  The advantage a true story holds over an actual event.

The firefly

A young firefly (born in July)

Was granted license to glow

By the Commission on Chemical Emission

And the Department of Flit To and Fro.

But a court of some sort

In the mason jar found

That his reason, this season,

For glowing and flying around

Was illumination of a child's education

Via books from the library sneaked out.

The residing presiding

Found no reason to bless,

And concluded, it's prudent

To illuminate less.

The glowworm was informed

Of the judges decision

By the aphids up under the lid.

And scolded with derision,

As the lightnin' bug nervously peeked out.

But the firefly, I don't know why,

Believed in both glowing and booking.

And shined, half the times

When he thought no one was looking.

Well the child went wild.

The rotten bug that he'd caught by the road

Hid his light half the night

And got fed to the toad.

Compromise is a myth when a child is freaked out.

FAIRNESS, n.  Death for the slow and confusion for the busy.

Antiquity

ANTIQUITY, n.  A kind of leather, probably.

Beated and chopped with tanned antiquity.

-Shakespeare

2007 Update:  The period of classical philosophy, music and architecture before The Gong Show was cancelled.

Happy birthday to the neveraging Neva!

**ADDENDUM** 'Tis better to be mocked by a genius than admired by fools, though less profitable. Y'all lookie here.

Abet

ABET, v.t. To encourage in crime, as to aid poverty with pennies.

2007 Update: To provide assistance or comfort to a criminal, for example by driving a getaway car or a newscopter.

An Assassin Falls, A Monster Rises

Episode 38 of 40 in The Meditations of Diogenes The Cynic. Thanks to this week's readers, director, engineer, special effects designer, make-up artist, public relations associate and genius.

To hear the story, tickle the monster

This week in The Prattler, Greenspun.

To read the story, knock the chip off the assassin's shoulder.

Me

ME, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.

2007 Update:  The least wasteful we.

Material

MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

Material things I know, or fell, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.

—Jamrach Holobom

2007 Update: In physics, composed of matter, having mass. In politics, composed of suspicion, provoking outrage.

"It violates every concept of fact we have in Washington!  Or Sacramento!" -Brian Bilbray (R-San Diego) 9/19/2007

Social Justice

SOCIAL JUSTICE, n.  The collective struggle for inclusive conspiracy.  

The elite are all foreign, the common all kin

And the wise live over the ocean.

We all share one world, aversion to sin

And confusion at brownian motion.

You're the salt of the Earth, but hear me now, Mister!

For we aren't all so different on balance:

What binds us together as brother and sister,

Is thievery, given the chance.

-St. Loquacious