Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Acorn
Acorn, n. A small nut about which cluster the American patriot's hopes of a navy. It makes tyrrany tremble.
2006 Update: The symbol of hope for the hard and dense to one day be mighty. A squirrel's breakfast.
'Round here it's my tulip bulbs that are squirrel breakfast fare. That, and the bird seed we put out. Got the fattest squirrels around. Would only take three to make a meal.
Acorns: those things that thunk on the roofs of cars and scare the bejesus out of drivers.
I got nuthin' Well, my mother used to work for Provident Bank in Cincinnati in the 60's - they had these pencils with an Acorn on them and the slogan "Solid as an Oak"
Back when I was 18 we lived in Seattle. On a typical cold Seattle night we heard some scratching at the door. Our 5 cats seemed very interested in the scratching and were gathered around the door growing wilder with each scratch. I opened the door and saw no one. I happened to look down and there was our midnight caller, a little squirrel. I had to ward off the cats so I closed the door, gathered whatever nuts I could find, opened the door and set them down on the floor. As if expecting it, the squirrel set about collecting the nuts and ran around the garden burying them in strategic places.
Months later we were all packed and ready to move away. The cats were packed away and locked in a room. The front door was wide open and in ran our old friend the squirrel, stood in the middle of the room and waited as we gathered what food we had for him. All he got were some fries because that is all we had. We placed them in the middle of the room and sat and watched as we ate our lunch. He, or she, busily set about burying its newfound treasure. Not an acorn did we have but the squirrel did not seem to mind. And with fries in hand, we bid our friend goodbye and left Seattle for good...
Dddragon you remind of one time an acorn fell on Willie's head. He was absolutely sure it was a squirrel conspiracy and ran around sniffing and swearing vengeance.
That's a great slogan for "Provident," Indie.
Cute story, Miz B. French fries one day grow to be a mighty Doug.
I was tempted to do an A Corn definition but I couldn't make it work. Then I read Pia's above and thought, yep that's how you do it! Nicely done, Pia.
Acorn - Nothing clever today, but the word does remind me of the team of squirrels who test for good & bad nuts in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and how they subsequently deemed Veruca a bad nut.
No need to apologize, Poobah. Sometimes when you have a big, slow-moving target it's more trouble not to take a shot. Besides, it was kind of a cleverly worded cheap shot.
Karen, can I get away with dittoing my response to Poobah?
Sar, that's probably my favorite scene from Willie Wonka. I'm boycotting Charlie references, except to the book.
Haha, Weirsdo, he was a destroyer of souls, that Piglet.
Acorn= to me what a burger is to a woodpecker. Couldn´t come up with somethign better, no time. Am on my hsift and people are starring at me becuase I am blogging. But I could not say Hi on a Monday! Happy Monday, Doug!
Lucily, I have never had a corn. I never want to have to purchase those spongy, circular bandaids that my dad has to buy. I hear those corns can get hard as acorns.
That not falling far from the tree? (was that already used?) From which mighty oaks grow? btw, did you know that you can have a plant patent as long as you utilize only asexual reproduction to generate the plant upon which you hope to plant a patent? I'm here merely in an advisory capacity. Don't you love the smell of crushed acorns in the morning? *MWAH* xoxo
I thought about acorns all day and never came up with anything good. I hope you're happy. *sniff*
Ya know, squirrels bury the acorns, but absolutely don't remember where they bury them. That's why they run around digging and digging up the yard. Never know what they'll find. I hope they choke.
as all the good definitions are gone I have only to add that seeing acorns in dreams is indicative of good things to come and if a women eats them n her dreams she will rise from a station of labor to a position of ease and pleasure.
I think it doesn't bode well for a dog to dream of acorns though.
33 comments:
'Round here it's my tulip bulbs that are squirrel breakfast fare. That, and the bird seed we put out. Got the fattest squirrels around. Would only take three to make a meal.
Acorns: those things that thunk on the roofs of cars and scare the bejesus out of drivers.
I got nuthin' Well, my mother used to work for Provident Bank in Cincinnati in the 60's - they had these pencils with an Acorn on them and the slogan "Solid as an Oak"
Back when I was 18 we lived in Seattle. On a typical cold Seattle night we heard some scratching at the door. Our 5 cats seemed very interested in the scratching and were gathered around the door growing wilder with each scratch. I opened the door and saw no one. I happened to look down and there was our midnight caller, a little squirrel. I had to ward off the cats so I closed the door, gathered whatever nuts I could find, opened the door and set them down on the floor. As if expecting it, the squirrel set about collecting the nuts and ran around the garden burying them in strategic places.
Months later we were all packed and ready to move away. The cats were packed away and locked in a room. The front door was wide open and in ran our old friend the squirrel, stood in the middle of the room and waited as we gathered what food we had for him. All he got were some fries because that is all we had. We placed them in the middle of the room and sat and watched as we ate our lunch. He, or she, busily set about burying its newfound treasure. Not an acorn did we have but the squirrel did not seem to mind. And with fries in hand, we bid our friend goodbye and left Seattle for good...
That's all I've got!
Dddragon you remind of one time an acorn fell on Willie's head. He was absolutely sure it was a squirrel conspiracy and ran around sniffing and swearing vengeance.
That's a great slogan for "Provident," Indie.
Cute story, Miz B. French fries one day grow to be a mighty Doug.
Now I get your comment
A
corn: a kernel of truth
Acorn, n. The infantry.
i always wanted to grow up to be a tall, slender coconut palm and sway in the breeze. but i'm scared of monkeys
Huh! I thought acorn was what grew on some poor folks toes! I'm so ig-nor-ant.
Acorn,, n., A hard nut to crack. Not worth the bother to most.
Pia, well done on the definition! But the two french fry comments were coincidental. I was thinking of the Honorable Bob Ney.
Haha, Duxfine! An oak private.
Man, people are funny today. Karma, the alliance between monkeys and coconuts is too deep to overcome. You chose wisely.
TLP, you might be thinking of "Dance Partner" and "Pistachio."
Ya buncha nuts!
Tee hee
Happy Monday!
From a small nut, stupid Bushes grow. Sorry, I couldn't forego the Bush reference on this one. It was too easy.
gotta agree with poobah on the bushies... "the nut doesn't fall very far from the tree". yep, it was too easy. {grin}
I was tempted to do an A Corn definition but I couldn't make it work. Then I read Pia's above and thought, yep that's how you do it! Nicely done, Pia.
Acorn - Nothing clever today, but the word does remind me of the team of squirrels who test for good & bad nuts in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and how they subsequently deemed Veruca a bad nut.
Nice update. No wonder they were Piglet's favorite food.
Happy Monday, Logo. Say hi to the acorns for me.
No need to apologize, Poobah. Sometimes when you have a big, slow-moving target it's more trouble not to take a shot. Besides, it was kind of a cleverly worded cheap shot.
Karen, can I get away with dittoing my response to Poobah?
Sar, that's probably my favorite scene from Willie Wonka. I'm boycotting Charlie references, except to the book.
Haha, Weirsdo, he was a destroyer of souls, that Piglet.
Acorn= to me what a burger is to a woodpecker.
Couldn´t come up with somethign better, no time. Am on my hsift and people are starring at me becuase I am blogging. But I could not say Hi on a Monday! Happy Monday, Doug!
a con?
Have you seen those little animated Ice Age cartoon shorts with the squirrel and a single acorn that he desperately tries to hoard for himself?
You can see them here:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/ice_age/
We LOVE these! So funny & cute, and that little fella has the WORST luck!
Monika, I'm so touched that you let old folks wallow in filth and do without food in order to say hello. You're the best!
Sreekesh, it depends on how much shade you're promised.
I love those, Jamie Dawn. I may despise children and cheerfulness but I love those movies. Call it compassionate curmudgeonliness.
acorn-the next big dieting craze. Look at how slim squirrels stay and high in fiber too.
Where great Oaks and sometimes weevils reside.
Hi Doug.
Thats a-corn-y definition :-)
Squirrels have dug little tiny holes all over my yard to reclaim their buried treasures. It's very annoying, but it's Mother Nature in my yard.
What can I do?
I think acorns taste like chicken.
Masil, I can attest to their fiber intake. You do have to run in traffic if you want it to work, though.
Well done, square girl. So, that's a tree in here with me?
Yea, yea, Kyah. I sew and reap.
Heh, Phoenix. By the way, you could get a dog. Squirrels are extinct at the end of Sunrose Place.
Lucily, I have never had a corn. I never want to have to purchase those spongy, circular bandaids that my dad has to buy. I hear those corns can get hard as acorns.
That not falling far from the tree? (was that already used?) From which mighty oaks grow? btw, did you know that you can have a plant patent as long as you utilize only asexual reproduction to generate the plant upon which you hope to plant a patent? I'm here merely in an advisory capacity. Don't you love the smell of crushed acorns in the morning? *MWAH* xoxo
fruit of an oak tree.......but not very fruity much more nutty
Acorn is a little like awart.
I thought about acorns all day and never came up with anything good. I hope you're happy. *sniff*
Ya know, squirrels bury the acorns, but absolutely don't remember where they bury them. That's why they run around digging and digging up the yard. Never know what they'll find. I hope they choke.
Yes... there is a song about acorns...
Hummmmm....mememememememe...
CHORUS
Acorns, Acorns Everywhere
when I see an acorn I see you, but you don't care
Acorns Acorns That's all I see
Acorn butt stay away from me
- Tree Climbers
as all the good definitions are gone I have only to add that seeing acorns in dreams is indicative of good things to come and if a women eats them n her dreams she will rise from a station of labor to a position of ease and pleasure.
I think it doesn't bode well for a dog to dream of acorns though.
What we consider a little nut can grow very strong and mighty.
I'm sure that's true, Jamie Dawn, and acorns as hard as feet.
That explains a few things, Actonbell, thank you ;)
Mireille, I was unaware of that, although it plays to my strengths.
Rio, that reminds me of someone.
Yes, Aral or Amollusk. No?
Tannins with a spoon, a4g. It makes the wine country work.
TLP, glad I'm not on your bad side.
Shayna, a lovely song. You take many forms.
*Wagging anyway,* Cooper
Eat your wheaties, Ice.
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