Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Advice to my nephew, Eamon, before his second birthday

Monday's your birthday, make of it the most.
Pull a toy under Murphy and feed him your toast
Bite your mom's ankle, spill your dad's beer,
Frustrate your brother til I hear him scream from here.
Put Bapu's camera into your juice.
Grab Ganny's flowers and pull each petal loose.
Some days are good and some days are bad.
The best days are days you make everyone mad!

EXPEDITION, n. A long and demanding mission, such as the journey from infancy to propriety or from the cradle to a vase.


Jim said...

Doug is remembering his own terrible two's.

Early in the morning!

Jim said...

Expedition: one of Ford's better ideas.

Nessa said...

Doug, you are the best Uncle. I hope that you allow Eamon to run away to your house when everyone is mad at him.

I thought an Expedition was a truck made by Ford.

Wordless Wednesday - Now That's Scary

Jim said...

The Ford Expedition is Ford's largest SUV, a gas guzzler but not as bad as some others.

Ganny said...

Uncle Doug, couldn't you find another picture of your nephew? He looks like a one eyed Willy in this one! And, he may be a punk-a-chunk but he's brilliant, and adorable and LOVES to show his love to his ganny who LOVES his lovin'...and who will let him yank off the petals of her precious flowers whenever he wishes. Happy second birthday, my Eamon. You're wonderful despite and because of your uncle's descripton of your antics....and you're right, Jim about Mr. Waking Ambrose. He was a pistol!

the amoeba said...

Your rellies have a dog named Murphy? Is the dog in charge? How convenient. If something goes awry, it's as the dog commanded.

I think the picture's perfect. How much did it cost you to get the camera back? With our without tooth marks?

k. riggs gardner said...

Isn't anyone in agreement on this blog? Jim thinks the terrible twos are one of Ford's better ideas. Nessa thought the Expedition was a truck. Jim corrected her. Ganny has her own opinions about Willy, while thinking Eamon is a brilliant punk-a-chunk. She does wish him Happy Birthday. the amoeba is concerned about Murphy the Dog, which is more than generous.

Without controversy, I'll also wish Eamon a Happy Birthday (on Monday).

Anonymous said...

I notice the nephew isn't to do anything to you. How unfair.

Happy 2s to Eamon!

TLP said... cute! You let him pull Willie's tail, right?

Logophile said...

hang on, no one told me that the end of this road led to propriety!!
That's it, I'm jumping trails.

Happy Birthday to the little man, I hope he takes none of your advice.

quilly said...

Doug -- you have to be the best uncle ever. Lucky, lucky Eammon!

EX- suffix meaning former

PED root having a foot

IT gender-free pronoun used to refer to objects and/or abstract ideas

-ION prefix denoting action or condition

PEDITION would be a foot in action, so EXPEDITION must be a former foot in action -- which totally explains zombie movies and is a perfect October reference.
see also: Bruce Campell

Ariel the Thief said...

Oh the lesson from the old Scorpio to the Scorpio kid.

Experimental usage of focus, exciting framing, brave composition. Bravo, Eamon!

k. riggs gardner said...

Dang QuillY! Awesome trailer. Zombie movies are the hip-rage! I hope AMC shows ARMY OF DARKNESS for its Halloween Fright-Fest. I mean really.

... "A man is accidentally transported to 1300 A.D., where he must battle an army of the dead and retrieve the Necronomicon so he can return home."

Anonymous said...

Doug's Dad, and Eamon's Granpa sez

Happy Birthday Eamon. May you retain your terrible two attitude forever. Your mom was never terrible. Don't know about your dad

W. Wordsworth said...

Good advice. The shades of the prisonhouse are coming.

L. Carroll said...

Better advice than W's advice ~ There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

Cooper said...

Happy Birthday Eamon.

Doug The Una said...

Jim, my terrible twos have lasted almost 40 years.

Nessa, there's always room for a bad child.

Jim, good to know. The Prius of tanks, kinda?

Mom, I liked this picture and I suspect it's a self portrait.

Amoeba, Murphy is one of the few servile dogs ever to live in my family. But, yeah, he makes one law.

Thanks, Karen. We need a peacemaker around here.

Jenn, he's out of ruler's reach.

TLP, Willie lets him. I frown on it, though.

Thanks, Logo. It can only help, right?

Quilly, I'm sure glad to have an explanation for zombie movies, thank you.

Yes, yes, Ariel. I think he'll be a fine photographer if he ever finds another subject.

Karen, that sounds like a good movie. A little Lovecraft, a little Romero. What could go wrong?

Pops, I've got five bucks on yes.

Bill, his mom's a lawyer and his dad's in law enforcement. No crime is too great.

Lew, that's good advice in a book full of good advice.

Thanks, Coop.

'na said...


You are a wonderful uncle and I will read this poem to Eamon but hope he doesn't understand it. I like my ankles.

And, you win the bet.

Doug The Una said...

Actonbell, you're early yet. Maybe Eamon's mom can read him all the birthday wishes.

Probably not as much as Jim likes his beer, 'Na.

Anonymous said...

Birthday Greetings
so little one
don't buy in
to the terrible two's
nothing terrible
about it


javajazz said...

ha! a most excellent poem.
that kid looks like you...!
stick with Uncle Dougie, Eamon,
he'll show you the way...