Wednesday, February 10, 2010

To my niece, Payton, on the day after her tenth birthday

Uno is more than a game, but also the number
Of masters in any one room.
And who is that chief? It isn't the plumber,
The salesman, lawyer or groom.

The leader's the one who can play green on blue,
Make fully grown adults do what she says to do,
Stop play in the middle when she tells them to
And send them out questing for copies of Clue.

So, now that you're ten and I'm ten years an uncle
I've learned a few things in the process
Like advice is for nephews, the kind that you dunkle,
But with nieces, just do as she says.

So as you command, I'm trying to do.
I'll play the darn games, maybe hug strangers, too,
Take a shot at the piñata, sad but it's true,
And harmonize on "Happy Birthday to You."

UNO, n. Crazy Eights redesigned for crazy tens.


TLP said...

Wonderful poem today!

Happy one-day-late birthday to Payton.

It's a smart fellow indeed you just gives in early. 'Cause girls rule.

TLP said...

"WHO" gives in early.

Nessa said...

Excellent poem, Uncle Dougie.

Happy Birthday, Payton (since it's the day after ask Uncle for another prezzie.)

Like TLP, I think you are truly a genius to understand girls are king.


Anonymous said...

Hau`oli La Hanau to your niece.

Uno: You got to be the numero uno uncle. :)

Hobbes said...

Wonderful poem, happy birthday to your niece, but we are concerned your curmudgeonliness may be slipping. The word verifier, "unfac," may allude to this. . .

k. riggs gardner said...

Uno (pronounced /ˈuːno/) (Italian and Spanish for 'one') is a card game played with a specially printed deck.

The game's slogans have included "The Colored Card Game", "You know" and "You get one, you get Uno".

When a player plays down to only one card, that player is required to say "uno" to warn other players.

The hand is over when one player has discarded all of their cards.

So sayeth The Great Wikipedia.

Jim said...

Happy Birthday (plus one day) Payton!
Happy Birthday (plus one day) Payton!
Happy Birthday (plus one day) Payton!
Happy Birthday (plus one day) to you!

Remember, Doug, 10-year olds like to win in a bad way!
Dunkle: "Clare B. Dunkle, author of folklore fantasy and science fiction novels for YA and middle grade readers."
Payton would like that!

Dunkle: "a dark German beer. Dunkel is the German word meaning dark, and dunkel beers typically range in colour from amber to dark ... "
Doug might like that!

Google: Jim has fun with that!

k. riggs gardner said...


"I dunno. This American feels for anyone who tried to install a sympathetic congress only to wind up with a pathetic one."


Ariel the Thief said...

Very Happy Birthday, Payton! If it went the way is described in the poem, you are a girl just knows how to party!

quilly said...

Happy Birthday, Payton! I hope your numero uno uncle gifted you with a new Uno deck and his undivided attention.

Anonymous said...

Doug's Dad Says - Happy Birthday Payton. You gotz lots of folks that love you, including our leader here, and political commentator

javajazz said...

happy birthday Payton!
lucky you, to have an Uncle Doug.

i've have a boy kid
and a girl kid,
and ya,
just do as she says...

Doug The Una said...

And it's a wise harpy who edits herself, TLP.

Thanks, Nessa. Among my learned father's teachings: No man ever stands as tall as when he stoops before a woman. That kind of wisdom has provided a lot of comfort through his various divorces.

Thom, that's a compliment I'll take. I've made an art out of avuncular.

Hobbes, that's funny because I'm pretty sure my nephews and niece still believe in my wretchedness.

Karen, thank you. That's helpful.

Jim, I think you get drunk on Google.

Karen, was that your attempt to defend me from accusations of declining curmudgeonliness?

Ariel, she sure is.

Quilly, I gave her a microscope and let her put me under it.

Pops, I'm not sure she heard us this time, but she managed to absorb an unprecedented amount of male attention for Super Bowl Sunday. Probably some kind of record.

JJ, you are a wise mother. Probably why your son got himself a horn.

k. riggs gardner said...

@dpascover A microscope?

Anonymous said...

belated birthday
greetings to
sure she is


Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday to Payton.

jenn said...

I keep hearing how this is a PG14 site...



That's a T


Ariel the Thief said...

It's Hungarian name is horsewasp. Tells everything!

k. riggs gardner said...

@dpascover Why don't you try a sincere apology sometime today. We can keep this between just us and the internet. Or, no one will even have to know if you reply with more than one word.

Ariel the Thief said...

Hey, some of our comments to next post made it over here. Going to call on their neighbours.

Doug The Una said...

Karen, sort of a handheld, computerized dealybob that magnifies.

Thanks, Bear and Jenn.

Nessa, I'm pretty sure you're on the wrong day.

Yeah, Ariel, that about describes it. I can see why Bierce wrote in English. Your language doesn't need definitions.

Well, Karen, an insincere apology wouldn't be worth much anyway.

Ariel, that's weird, isn't it?