The Mayoralty of Macedon

Episode X

Listen to Chiron, children!.

Or read the end of the story on the abacus.

Happy birthday (tomorrow) to TLP and TSDUFF! Saturday stories will return in the new year, Insha'llah.

Novel

NOVEL, n. A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the panorama. Unity, totality of effect, is impossible; for besides the few pages last read all that is carried in mind is the mere plot of what has gone before. To the romance the novel is what photography is to painting. Its distinguishing principle, probability, corresponds to the literal actuality of the photograph and puts it distinctly into the category of reporting; whereas the free wing of the romancer enables him to mount to such altitudes of imagination as he may be fitted to attain; and the first three essentials of the literary art are imagination, imagination and imagination. The art of writing novels, such as it was, is long dead everywhere except in Russia, where it is new. Peace to its ashes — some of which have a large sale.

2008 Update: The labors of Heracles as presented to the sallow and pencil-necked; a great test of a writer's diligence, organization, thievishness and repetition. Rewards to a successful challenger include an august place on low shelves in airports and bus stations as well as the possibility of going unread in thousands of homes. On the day it is fully realized that blogs accomplish everything that novels achieve without concentration, the great presses at Simon and Schuster may finally rest silently in hell.

Nihilist

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

2008: Update: The pupa by which a creeping idealist becomes a winged scold.

Happy Thanksgiving, and to Karma and Karishma: stay safe. Holidays and armed idiots tarry but a short while.

A holiday limerick

Searching our sad hearts for gratitude

Gives us considerable latitude

To name poverty

Or dreams that won't be

Tis a pity that won't fit a platitude.

GRATEFULNESS, n. The stage before satisfaction.

Noise

NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

2008 Update: The neighbor's pulse.

Nepotism

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

2008 Update: The application of genetics to insure management of consistent quality.

The Mayoralty of Macedon

Episode IX

Listen to Diogenes, children!.

Or read the inscription on the flattened bodies of the boys.

Cartoons from Diogenes and The Bad Boys of Corinth by Wilhelm Busch

Elector

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

2008 Update: In American democracy, a voter selected by ballot to misrepresent the outcome of the election.

Erudition

ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

So wide his erudition's mighty span,
He knew Creation's origin and plan
And only came by accident to grief —
He thought, poor man, 'twas right to be a thief.
—Romach Pute

2008 Update: Dour folly.

Settling in for winter

The skies and trees change as expected,

But other seasons are directed

By voters, pols and other fellows,

Pounding wood and squeezing bellows,

To tarry until properly elected.

A new day, like a river, came,

And though we'd prefer each one were tame

Each one arrives in its due course

And is tracked back to its likely source

To dam and damn and blame.

The best that we can do, I think,

Is pour ourselves a nice warm drink,

Build a fire to heat our feet,

Take a slice of something sweet,

And rest a bit, at home upon the brink.

BARREL, n. A fashion deplored for reflecting effort rather than ambition.