Monday, July 10, 2006


INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Two Seidlitz powders, one in blue
And one in white, together drew
And having each a pleasant sense
Of t'other powder's excellence,
Forsook their jackets for the snug
Enjoyment of a common mug.
So close their intimacy grew
One paper would have held the two.
To confidences straight they fell,
Less anxious each to hear than tell;
Then each remorsefully confessed
To all the virtues he possessed,
Acknowledging he had them in
So high degree it was a sin.
The more they said, the more they felt
Their spirits with emotion melt,
Till tears of sentiment expressed
Their feelings. Then they effervesced!
So Nature executes her feats
Of wrath on friends and sympathetes
The good old rule who don't apply,
That you are you and I am I.
2006 Update: A nearer perplexion.


karma said...


Sar said...

Intimacy: Oh my, where to begin. But of course, a foot massage!

kqtop - Karma's queen in the top spot.

puppybrose said...

Intimacy: emotional immersion

lovely word, doug! i'm surprised there aren't more definitions by now. guess a lot of people fear intimacy in more ways than one suspects...

cj said...

Intimacy: time shared with my other half, that has produced many fond memories, even in hard times, and of course resulting in two beautiful daughters.

Doug said...

Haha, Karma. Yeah, an alternative definition might be "A woman's dagger"

Sar, that's where you begin?

Emotional, Puppybrose? No wonder we fear it. By the way, today's post has been sitting in my drafts folder for about three months.

CJ, what did a stork get into this?

cj said...

Doug, there was no stork. I think that the stork takes the month of September off. Twice he made me do it myself. Thankfully the next delivery will be done by stork. :)

brian said...

Diane and I came up with a triangle years ago to help us with our marriage.


Each aspect exists in the other two.

G said...

I have seen perfection and it is in the words of this shared intimacy! Dare I share my own? What the heck:

intimacy: knowing both when to whisper, and when to scream.

pia said...

Some people here seem to view intimacy as something that happens only between two people in love. That is so not true.

Very sad, a building in my old neighborhood just exploded. I'm in shock

Anonymous said...

Intimacy: In honor of my brother's birthda I shall quote him "Isn't that all the touchy feely crap where I have to "share" s***?"

And he actually got married. Amazing. Granted he also had to have a filing system to keep track of his girlfriends as he kept messing up all their intimate secrets. Niiiiiice. We're so proud. *wipes a tear*

karma said...


From your last few definitions, I'm getting the impression you're getting to be a hopeless romantic. My, how the mighty fall

- Juliet

enqcofx: asking about the office fax

Mistress Anna said...


G said...

pia - agree 100%. Just am hearing about that explosion.

joel said...

There are many ingredients to the realization of intimacy but none greater or more essential than trust. It is the very foundation and structure...without it true intimacy cannot exist.

Anomie-Atlanta said...

Intimacy: The illusion that as individuals we are not alone.

Logophile said...

Ooooh, Anna has something there.

Intimacy~ Letting someone inside the defenses.

Doug~ Don't be perplexed, I'll have to tell you the story of FM sometime.

cooper said...

intimacy- I don't know I refuse to read Cosmo.

Doug said...

CJ, a wise choice. I mean for next time.

I guess it's a matter of perspective, Brian. I thought love was more of a slab.

G, it may be too early to give a crown, but that's awfully good.

Pia, that's a wise point. Be safe.

Jenna, your brother sounds like a good man, which includes being a questionable husband.

Karma, not to fear. Rumors of my taming are greatly exaggerated.

Mistress, what=silliness?

See, Joel, I thought earplugs were. Guess I've been doing it wrong.

Anomie, you are a misanthrope's dream. Where were you when I lived in Atlanta? I might have perplexed ye.

Oh, right, Logo. Barfing is the true heart of deepest intimacy.

Cooper, bless you.

Chatham said...

Intimacy: what felines bequeath to Beans in exchange for services rendered.

Mistress Anna said...

Doug: Silliness=Lust

puppybrose said...

Intimacy: insider trading

(why am i not surprised it took so long to post this word?)

difvdas: feuding divas

Cowgirl said...

Like Coop, I refuse to read Cosmo.

Pia is right, intimacy is much more dynamic.

And I loved the story about Princess Pill!

a4g said...

Intimacy, n. The deepest level of deception one can engage in while not alone.

Rio said...

that which draws me away from writing; but is also my most common muse

O Ceallaigh said...

INTIMACY, n. That state of elevated hormones that permits you not to see the knife behind your partner's back.

Chicago Sun-Times reports that intimacy causes building explosions in New York.

mireille said...

That for which we have a constant craving, and of which we have an abiding fear. xoxo

Doug said...

Chatham, I don't even call that intimacy. And my standards are low.

Thanks, Mistress Anna. I think I'm starting to understand. But if lust is silliness and silliness is frivolous and intimacy is fearlessness, how much valor do you think there would be without frivolity?

Excellent, Puppybrose. And no, you shouldn't be surprised. If I hadn't overslept it would probably have sat another season.

Cowgirl, may you and Cooper always be as wise.

So, it's politics for two, a4g?

Rio, a common muse, indeed.

O Ceallaigh, I'm not surprised.

We, Mireille? Hungry mouse in your pocket?

Anonymous said...

I've always considered intimacy is where you discover if he's a mouse or a man, but Anna said it much more succinctly.

24 more hours and I'm California bound! Whooot! Soon I'll have my very own Mickey Mouse ears. I think I'll get Trollop stitched on the back. Sweeeeeet. they still have the MM ears?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

INTIMACY: Necessary for true friendship or true love. Also see scary as hell.

The Village Idiot said...

INTIMACY: The contact between your bicycle seat and certian portions of your anatomy.

Mistress Anna said...

aSometimes less valor=less war. Valor based on lust is somewhat misguided. Frivolity in small doses.
"When valour preys on reason, it eats the sword it fights with."
- William Shakespear

O Ceallaigh said...

Valor based on lust is somewhat misguided

You would have made a pretty poor hoplite, Mistress A. And they did pretty well in their day.

brian said...

INTIMACY: The squirming uncomfortable relationship forced upon us by the service economy.

The Village Idiot said...

Jenna --- Beware of Minnie Mouse. She got intimate with my backside. I was goosed by Minnie, the last time I was at Disney Land

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'll goosed by Captain Hook! Aaaaarrrr matey.

G said...

Okay Doug, I'm out of here. Do I leave with a crown or a footprint?

O Ceallaigh said...


These days, Minnie can get away with it. And just who was in that suit, V.I.? Not that I'm trying to make you paranoid or anything ...

But Cap'n Hook cannot. And I'm sure the lawyers have told him so. Many times. Sorry, Jenna.

Miz BoheMia said...

Hey now! I actually do skim through Cosmo... well, the Spanish one sucks but the US one was quite funny with all the bad sex anecdotes and what not...

I see y'all have been getting intimate without my bohemian presence! FOR SHAME PEOPLE! FOR SHAME!

Intimacy... when right before telling him you think he looks beautiful and that you want to kiss him he looks at you and farts and yet you still love the man! *sigh* Dreamy!

ncusvdhi~ No cussing vedics!

actonbell said...

Intimacy means that if one of you forgets to pack a toothbrush, it's not a crisis.

The Village Idiot said...

OC -- I try not to dwell on who was in the suit...It works for me

Karen said...

intimacy... is that sumthin like *fools rush in where angels fear to tread?* :-)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

for the shopaholics:

You go inta-macy's, do a little shopping, and go home to have a little intimacy.

Oooo. That was bad, wasn't it?

Sophisticated Writer said...

Intimacy: One of the many sides of love. Not being afraid of showing who you are in the presence of someone else.

Doug, I'm still waiting to read you on my *new* blog ;)

still life said...

Intimacy,n closeness resulting from relatively small distances

see: Manhattan hi-hrise living or
here: "last call til closing"

still life said...

Intimacy, n really close; a homophone:

see: hear and here

puppybrose said...

omnip... too funny! my version was:

Intimacy: people who are "slobs"

get it? inta-messy? okay... that's one of those reallyreally stupid puns that needed to stay in my head, right? sigh. that's me. i'm not afraid to share. and, sometimes, i guess i just go too far...(altho', let's face it, intimacy *has* been known to get messy from time to time.)

Doug said...

Jenna, you'll at least wave flying over, right? You deserve a trollop hat with mouse ears.

TLP, see also "Do I look fat in this outfit?

Thanks for sharing, VI.

Hahahaha, Jenna!

Crown, G.

OK, O Ceallaigh. What did you do now?

Miz B, just as long as you understand that nothing they say about men or women are true, read what you like.

Actonbell, I love the teapot. And your definition is great. Cartoons with portly nudes saying "Love is ignoring bad breath" come to mind.

Karen, absolutely.

Poobah, you're like a brother to me and I'll never lie to you. Oh, yeah. That one needed a toothbrush.

Dear sophisticated. You mean since the slightly inappropriate comment you deleted? 1000 apologies.

Still Life, you share G's crown. Here and hear is a brilliant epigram, if biased towards the female perspective. Sweat and sweet would be our equivalent.

Puppybrose, you started so strong.

Anonymous said...

Doug...I'll blow a kiss. Just for you. How's that for intimacy?

SquareGirl said...

I loved both Actonbells and Still Life's and wouldn't dare to attempt a definition after theirs.

I actually love intimacy. It's the melodrama, neediness, jealousy, and sentiment that some people like to associate with it that drives me nuts.

SG (blogger is being high maintenance again and I can't seem to log in as my pseudo-self)

Minka said...

an oddity of a book by Hanif Kureishi I was forced to read inb Contemporary Literature. Thanks for bringing it up and boy, I am still shaking ;)

Doug said...

For a guy like me, Jenna, about perfect.

Squaregirl, by "melodrama, neediness, jealousy and sentiment," you mean intimacy?

Never heard of him or it, Minka, but it sounds traumatic. Hey! You're here!

Sophisticated Writer said...

OMG Doug, you DID read that comment? Tell me you didn't!! Don't apologize dearest friend :) It's always a pleasure reading you on my blog.