Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Advice to my mother, after her birthday

No one would get appendicitis
Without vestigial organs still inside us.
A century since cart and dray
Horses still kick folks for play.
Abaci defy our youth,
Fifty years since such were couth,
Though Terpsichore no longer touches,
Dancers hobble on on crutches.
I guess that what I'm trying to say
Is relics still may rule the day.

VESTIGE, n. The looming tyrant of an earlier age.


actonbell said...

Well, I hope Doug's Mom had a grand birthday!

Very nice poem, Doug. Despite the use of the words "relic" and "vestige," it still manages to be a very nice, sweet poem for your mother:)

TLP said...

Relics?? tyrant??? Wash your mouth out with soap buddy. Or clean your pencil,or...or...sanitize your keyboard.

Remove any tincture of ageism.


Thom said...

Good advice :)

VESTIGE, n. - People in general if you ask me

the amoeba said...

VESTIGE, n. What happens to your vest after the passage of a dog. Especially if you were holding a cat at the time.

the amoeba said...

Happy Birthday anyway, Mme Pascover!

Jim said...


Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!
Happy Birthday (late) Mrs. Pascover!

Doug knows, but that is all the better that I can sing. A Methodist choir director let me know that I have a bad ear so I'm off the air! [Relics know what that 'off the air' means. :)]

Abaci (plural of abacus) might be the word of the day? I thought you were starting over in the "A"s and here pops up 'vestige.' My personal low English use of that word is a 'leftover.' I'm sure Mom is NOT a vestige.

Anonymous said...

APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.

Nessa said...

Doug's mom needs to give Doug a spanking. Then he'd really know what a tyrant from an earlier age is all about.

Hi Doug's Mom.

~Karen said...

"A tonsillectomy is a 2000 year-old surgical procedure in which the tonsils are removed from either side of the throat."

I had my tonsils removed late in life. I was about sixteen or seventeen. I bet neither Willie nor Walela nor Monkey-Boy knew that.

VESTIGE,n. A visible trace, evidence, or sign of something that once existed but exists or appears no more.*

*According to

Minka said...

A happy belated birthday to Doug's mom! She is no tyrant....the only misgiving she imposed on this world is give birth to a bitter-tongued curmudgeon. And we have made our peace with that! ;)

p.s I have no idea what vestige means, even with your update!

Anonymous said...


that turning point of
wine to
cooking vinegar

both have their place

peace begins with
each of

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Doug's mom.

Years ago we were surprised to learn that raising a child who thought on his own sometimes meant he didn't agree with us.

Now that he is older than we are, who cares what he thinks - "looming tyrant" - hurrump

Doug's dad

cooper said...


that inkling of cologne
message in a bottle
blood on the wall, and
those ashes in the urn

quilly said...

Vestige, n. most tenacious (which Doug's mother would have to be to have raised that son)

Happy Belated Birthday Doug's Mom!

C.J. Duffy said...

I can vouch that relics still rule the day and Happy Birthday to Doug's Mum!

C.J. Duffy said...

My kids used to sing this to me each and every birthday and probably still would if the could...

"Happy Birthday to you,
Squashed tomato and stew
Bread and butter in the gutter
Happy Birthday to you."

(Well, I liked it!)

Doug said...

Thanks, Actonbell. It was meant to be that, subject to the constraints of the blog and my, well, Dougishness.

TLP, out out damn spot! No, Willie, I didn't mean you.

Thom, I expect the ferns would agree.

I wouldn't know, Amoeba. Thank you, but it's Sra. Bava. Mme. Pascover is my sister-in-law.

Jim, it's always a good enough singing for the website. Thanks.

Karen, excellent archiving as always.

Nessa, tyrants from earlier ages had husbands to do the spanking.

Karen, we did not know that. Mine were yanked early.

Minka, welcome back. A vestige is a remainder of something from the past. If there's any irony to your asking, I'm sure I can't see what it is.

Indeed it does, Bear. As does war.

Bless your heart, fading tyrant. I think I got my sense of humor from you, and most of yours.

Nicely done, Coop!

Thanks, Quilly. Yeah, my poor mom deserves a thousand Mother's Day flowers for every petal that actually comes.

Hey, I like that birthday song, too, C.J. The Pezes (TLP and Actonbell being 2 of the 4 blogging examples) have a nice birthday song, too.

Nicole said...

I'm sure she is used to your ways *and words) by now, so I can say 'sweet poem' :D
Happy belated birthday to your Mom :)

tsduff said...

If anyone can lovingly refer to his mother with words like relic... it is you. Mom's understand their boys' expressions of tenderness, no matter how it seems to the rest of the world.

Hope your Mom's birthday was all good.