Thursday, August 26, 2010

Redemption

REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
We must awake Man's spirit from his sin,
And take some special measure for redeeming it;
Though hard indeed the task to get it in
Among the angels any way but teaming it,
Or purify it otherwise than steaming it.
I'm awkward at Redemption — a beginner:
My method is to crucify the sinner.
—Golgo Brone
2010 Update: The remittance of murder, theft, treason, gossip, indolence, conspiracy, cruelty and other sins in deference to the sinner's theological accuracy.

11 comments:

TLP said...

It's done with coupons.

Or you can pay for redemption if you're a Catholic in Wolfshausen. (Paying is easier than praying.)

TLP said...

First, btw, and second too of course.

the amoeba said...

REDEMPTION, n. Recovery and renewal. REDEMPTION CENTER: A place where you bring your flotsam and jetsam for recovery and renewal, and they pay you for the privilege. Similar to a church, except you pay them.

Dawg, for 'theological accuracy', I would have substituted 'fiducial acuity'. And I would have omitted sex crimes, for which Mr. Brone speaks for America. Right, Tiger?

Nessa said...

Since pain erases all sin, I'm thinking S&M aficionados are all going to heaven. (Golgo said so.)

Mo'a said...

Again, I am Lutheran...my very handy excuse.
However, I am sure that if I thought deeper, I probably need Redemption.
Such as how guilty I feel that I don't come here everyday and say something exceedingly clever.

I love TP's response.

Thom said...

REDEMPTION, n. Coupons. Dang TLP took the only definition I knew oh well

Ariel the Thief said...

I don't think there's such a thing as redemption but only consolation and substitution. There will be no mistake if you can tell one from the other, and there will be big fortune if at least one comes with sugar or salt. :)

karen a. said...

I'm thinking of the Shawshank Redemption. Banking executive 'Andy' Dufresne is wrongly accused of murdering his wife and her lover. He is convicted and receives two life sentences. In prison he befriends 'Red', a lifer who has become institutionalized to prison life and is afraid of parole. The years go by and Andy unwillingly becomes involved in, and is the architect of, the warden's kickback money-laundering scheme. All the while Andy has been digging an escape tunnel with a small rock hammer to the prison's sewage system. One night he crawls through the tunnel and miles of sewage to escape with the 'dirty' money. He sends evidence of the warden's crimes to the newspaper and consequently the warden kills himself as police sirens blare outside the prison. By this time, Red has been paroled. With money Andy had left for him under a rock in an orchard, Red breaks parole and meets Andy on the sandy white beaches of Zihuatanejo, Mexico.

addendum (with Nessa's thought in mind): At some point during Andy's prison tenure, 'Hadley', the head prison guard, brutally beats 'Bogs', leader of "The Sisters," after his gang's sexual assault puts Andy in the infirmary; Bogs is paralyzed, and the remaining Sisters leave Andy alone.

quilly said...

RED, n. any of various colors resembling the color of blood; the primary color at one extreme end of the visible spectrum, an effect of light with a wavelength between 610 and 780 nm.

EMPT(Y), v. to make empty; deprive of contents; discharge the contents

-ION, abbrev a suffix denoting action

REDEMPTION, n. blood-letting

see also: Crusades

cooper said...

redemption:
The bartering process by which we gain eternal residence in the house of the lord.

Your promiscuity in exchange for the room with the angels on the ceiling.

Doug said...

TLP, it's been getting harder and harder to buy your way off in Wolfshausen. 1521, 1524, maybe.

Seems that way, Amoeba. Somehow we've got to where vengeance on the sins of others redeems our own. Jesus wept, we holler.

Nessa, wouldn't heaven be hell for them?

Mo'a, there's no reason for guilt. Come when you feel like it, say what you will.

Thom, it's always fair to double down.

Ariel, your comment has the shining glow of truth and the flavor of a cupcake.

Karen, that's an appropriate movie to summarize.

Quilly, you can't help but see a crusade. I suppose we can help crusading.

Trading the mirror for the angel is theologically correct, I think, Cooper.