Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Special Guest Wednesday

This week, it's my pleasure to have my friend, Brian as a Wednesday guest.

Brian was asked to define Rhyme.

RHYME, n. A political slogan designed to entice moral outrage.
(Done the crime, must do the time)
(Our borders are porous, vote for Rep. Morris)
(To support gay marriage, is a cultural miscarriage).
(Children we see, reject Plan B)

The teleprompter reveals,
the stories that are real,
the sound and the fury,
the eyes look bleary,
only one hundred left
but don't be bereft
if you call without fail
they'll still be on sale.

About Brian: Brian introduced himself here on May 15 of this year, courageously speaking ill of Tom Cruise. Since then, his comic poetry and wit have become such persistent features of this site it's hard to believe he hasn't been here all along. We've all come to expect the rhyming pentecost he so often delivers and exemplified in this week's definition. Putting together so many rhymed words in a coherent message requires a vocabulary the author of this here dictionary can only aspire to.

Brian writes several blogs. The oldest is Truth is Freedom which began as showcase for Brian's always evident sensitivity and compassion in this case directed towards a young girl who'd been mistreated. Since that time his site has been a place for poetry, sharing and parody. I'm told there is an extension of this guest post, project A-Z, waiting for us over there. New posts on this blog are mainly Wednesdays and Fridays.

Cue the parental advisories: To extend the poetry, Brian created a site for poetry (some of which is intended for an adult audience,) My Muse, My Poetry, My Life. Dewy Knickers started life as a character in a parody on Truth is Freedom and Brian channels her still on her own site. Dewy's site, like the others contains various types of creative writing, but is centered on questions that Dewy asks other women about their thoughts on various matters. By some magic, women open up and express their opinions and feelings there. This site posts daily, Monday through Saturday.

The most striking thing about Brian is his relationship with his wife, Diane. Both suffer from significant disabilities and have healed together as one soul in two skins. Diane appears often on his site as a supporter and nurturer. Brian always honors her with appreciation. Ladies, if you want this kind of romance in your life, it all happens at the office coffee pot.

Thanks to Brian for bringing his poetry here.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.


Anonymous said...

well said, Brian! Interesting and thoughtful definitions, too! Why do i think we'll all have to brace ourselves for a rhyming rodeo, today??

Rhyme: the words that you hear from a Poet who Knows It.

(don't fret when you see, my lame poetry, my mind tends to trip, until coffee, i've sipped.)

Anonymous said...

Rhymes: a kid who sings waaaaaaaaay better than I.

I'd do better but I'm still recovering from yesterday's word...which I still think you made up, Doug.

TLP said...

Rhyme goes with reason. Or rather, no rhyme goes with no reason.

Hey Brian! Nice to meetcha. Good definitions.

Great write up Doug. I think you like this guy.

G said...

Brian! Where's Diane? Congrats on a lovely star turn and serving as great inspiration for Doug's lovely write-up. I was thinking along TLP's lines.

Rhyme: What brings reason to Brian's day.

Have to run for now, be back later. Enjoy the ride.

Logophile said...

A fabulous write up, Doug!
Nicely done, Brian.
If I just take the model I have now and beat him with a water jug, does it result in romance?
Eh, probably not, never mind.
And now the water comment has me free associating, so here...
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him smart.

Anonymous said...

logo: that reminds me of one of my all-time *favorite* Dorothy Parker quotes:

"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think"

there was no rhyme and/or reason for me to share that...aside from the fact that, in my fragile little mind, it's funny!

Doug The Una said...

Morning, Brian. Well done and thanks for the explanation.

Puppybrose, not from me. I couldn't rhyme the sea over tea.

Very clever, Shamrock.

Jenna, you mean Busta? You're a writer. Made-up words are good for you.

TLP, no reason, no rhyme. No season, no time. No singing, no mime.

G, enjoy the commute. Think before you park.

Logo, see the following comment.

Puppybrose! I had the exact same thought and immediately. If you hadn't quoted that I would have. Dorothy Parker is my dead celebrity crush. I could have made such a terrific despised ex-lover of hers if only I'd been miscarried two generations sooner.

Brian, enjoy your lunch. We'll carry on the salute.

The Village Idiot said...

No More Rhyming, I really Mean It!!!

Anybody want a peanut?

After all how could I pass up the opportunity to quote Princess Bride?

The Violent Vixen said...

I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to decide how to comment... Rhyming's not my thing, though sometimes it happens in my poetry by accident.
The definitions are absoultely hilarious though, I'm on my way to check out your blogs now.
Have a good one!

mireille said...

Brian, thanks for your definitions ... in your and Diane's honor:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.



Anonymous said...

I sit here and ponder what to post

knowing full well our gracious host

anticipates brilliance from most

I must beg exception from thee for you see, I'm a man seeking to coast.

(exits stage left amidst a veritable storm of hoots, hollers, boos, hisses, and many rotten vegetables.)

The Village Idiot said...


See my above comment

No More Rhyming! I really mean it!

Anonymous said...

VI - I just had to do one...I never get to rhyme in my day job. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's forbidden...signs are posted to that effect all over the building.

With that in mind...I couldn't have lived with myself had I passed on this opportunity. Please forgive my shall not happen again...or will it?

Doug The Una said...

V.I., that's my favorite of all the lines in The Princess Bride. After seeing the movie four or five times, I start laughing three lines before it in anticipation. Ah, I'm a simple man.

Howdy, Solace! You're 18 now, right?

Mireille, that's the second time I've heard Rumi mentioned this week. You are a fancy lass.

Joel, your host is not so gracious.
His appetite's voracious
For errors in spelling
And humor that's telling
The table for dimwits is spacious.

VI, we heard you. Peanut?

Joel, I have every faith.

Anonymous said...

i don't know, Doug, "Have fun storming the castle!" is pretty sweet, too. and then there's that whole "incontheivable" dialogue, which is hilariouth.

what's that you say?
please go a way?
aw come on, i want to play.
(otherwise i might come back with my shovel...)

Doug The Una said...

Puppybrose, please stick around,
I've searched but never quite found
A commenter finer
At tossing one liners
Lamer than mine, pound-for-pound

G said...

Yes your table for dimwits is spacious.
As a host you've always been more than gracious.
Would it raise your ire,
would you set me on fire,
If admitting The Princess Bride I never did see?

Incontheivable! (my children and I already enjoy this thanks to VI).

Hey! I can rhyme with the best of them - move over Joel. By the way, Doug, thinking before parking? It's all I can do to squeeze into a tight parallel spot - then I have to read no less than 47 signs! Who has the patience before my latte was my argument! The answer - is in the orange envelope on your windshield Missy!

The Violent Vixen said...

Yes, Doug, I'm 18 now.

Anonymous said...

silly me I never thought
what this word would have wrought
to see such bloggers in dire straights
makes a bunny paws and heasitate
but never mind I'll hop along
for poetry is like a song
some are ballads sound so sweet
others thump in metal beat
brings to mind hard rock n' roll
while winking lines are so droll
althought I may seem so organized
a guest of Dawg's is so prized
my gift may seem heaven sent
I completely forgot to leave a comment.

Sar said...

Good job Brian! I enjoyed your incorporation of political and television contexts in your rhymes.

Doug, good job to you as well as that was quite an impressive introduction.

And dammit, VI, you beat me to my comment. I should've known. So I offer this instead...

VI, the Princess Bride does adore
but I bet my girls can quote it more

Sar said...

And Yay for G! She said 47 signs!

The Village Idiot said...


Anonymous said...

Hello All! Diane here. Oh, Doug - what a wonderful intro, and you mention ME! I am honored! I should have a rhyme, as Brian IS my husband, but the poetry stops with him! (I'm the one with common sense!) lol

Doug The Una said...

Haha, G.

Then enjoy, Solace, and it's great to see you drop by.

Brian, that's what I'm talking about.

Sar, thanks. Hopefully your daughters have more they can talk about.

Like I said, VI.

Minka said... have this effect on me. Whenever I read something of yours, I am stumbled for a few minutes wondering how to reply. Nothing seems adequate enough.
In that sense: Lovely guest appearance, I was wiating for you to come out of hiding!!!

Doug The Una said...

Diane, no mention of your husband is complete with mentioning you.

Minka, he was waiting for you, too, actually.

Minka said...

Doug, omnipotence is your newest feature?
Can I link to it? Seems you have it in abundance :)

Doug The Una said...


Jake said...

rhyme: the last name of Busta who once frequented the airwaves as a hero of the lowest form of prose known as rap.

Brian- as always I am thoroughly impressed by your command of phonetics and vocab in creating your various rhythms. May your poetry and prose continue to inspire, soothe, and haunt. Adios!

Minka said...

Youa re guys are just too sweet. I had no idea. "Waiting for Minka" A Sequal by Samuel Beckett!
I likes it :)

Unknown said...

a huge welcome to my friend, whose name is an anagram of 'Brain'


G said...

Actonbell - We love A Pizza the Size of the Sun! Another little fave from several years back was "Pete's a Pizza".

Doug The Una said...

Brian, thank you for teaching me sarcasm. I've been meaning to try it. Well done, too.

Jake, I thought that was the limerick. See comments to Joel and Puppybrose above. The suit becomes you, by the way.

Actonbell, you rhyme all the time, tequila and lime.

Minka, that sequel is way late.

Karma, anagrams are next week.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

rhyme - That which oftimes exists without the accompanyment of reason.

Jake said...

Doug- your talent goes beyond mere definitions I see... the poet who didn't know it.

The suit displays my professionalism. The monkey my primitive instincts. The .45 my sidearm of choice. The total package shall be known as the Monkey Assassin. It's all for security in the Park of course.

Ariel the Thief said...

great definitions, Brian, and great rhymes! I would have been very impressed if your guest introduction is all written in rhymes by Doug but oh well, it's still quite good. :)

Ariel the Thief said...

(I did try to think in that position but it's not quite possible. but I love the bolt pic!)