Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, June 04, 2007
APOLOGIZE, v.i. To lay the foundation for a future offense.
2007 Update: To comfort in the short term those you would shame in the long. To justify what can't be rectified.
apologize,v. to abruptly end a discussion on a lovely note. A bit like a gentle exclamation mark, signifying "I am wrong and you are beautiful!"
I am second with no apologies.
"To justify what can't be rectified." is very beautifully said.
apologize, admitting that I cannot help it.
apologize - An act frequently called for, but seldom performed, and when performed, frequnetly signifies nothing.
I'm sorry, I just can't think of anything to say.
apologize to offer a kiss -- after having slapped someone.
Husker Du had a great song called "I Apologize" -- and if the punks can say they're sorry anyone can.
apologize: to learn to get along.
Apologize: Expressed by humans in words and by octopi in ink.
Seems Blogger needs to apologize to me for deeming my site a spam site and locking me out from publishing. Ah well, I'll just have to get my brawl on here with today's word.
Here's something that annoys me -- signs indicating management's discretion to alter environments or revoke rights followed by the uneccessary phrase "We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused". Really?? Because if you're really sorry to cause me an inconvenience, well then don't. Otherwise, just post your informational statement sans the pathetically faux apology.
Minka, that sounds like a stolen rose.
Joel, second means never having to say you're sorry.
That's a great definition, Ariel.
Poobah, that definition works for a lot of transitive and intransitive verbs.
TLP, it hurts me more than it does you.
Quilly, oh I better not.
Mutha, especially punks from Akron.
Mule, I keep reading you as Don Quixote since you changed your avatar.
Al, that was hilarious. Good job, buddy.
Sar, maybe you shouldn't have tried selling c1al1s. I apologize for any inconvenience my sarcasm may have caused.
Apologize: best means for getting in the last word and/or laugh.
"Well, excuuuuuse me!!!!" ~ Steve Martin (sorry, heh heh, couldn't resist) ; )
yes Doug, that is one of those roses with thorns that has been given to me. Notice that the utterer of those words did not say that he was incorrect or I unreasonable, but rather that we both have assets.
apologize, v. sugar coating between a past insult and a desire for nagging to be over, so one´s ears can get a rest.
Both you and Bierce are in FINE form today. Great definitions!
Apologizing is false humility - saying "I'm sorry" with your fingers crossed behind your back.
Apologize: A trick to recover from saying out what you truly believe. (Losing its power through over use.)
Love TLP's definition
Am sorry that I'm commenting while at the beach. Can't help myself
I found Brenda Lee's I'm sorry on you tube. It's my song
I apologize profusely for not showing up for so long. My computer has been driving me nuts, and it still hasn't apologized to me for all the trouble it's caused me.
Puppybrose, you make me sentimental for the days of yore when I though Steve Martin was funny.
That works, Minka? I'll jot that down. I've been looking for an alternative to "everybody just leave me alone!"
Jamie Dawn, at least the people with crossed fingers aren't holding a shiv.
Nessa, therapeutic insincerity?
Pia, that is your song. Lounging won't idle itself.
That particular apology doesn't even belong on "Apologize" day.
That was a fine time Doug, those days when we all thought Steve Martin was funny.
Apologize: Reminds me of Happy Days (while we're strolling down Memory Lane) when the Fonz couldn't do so and would say, I was WRo/wro/wrooong.
I apologize for my amped up sense of corny today, I'll leave now.
1. what you do when you're caught farting.
2. what you don't need to do if you're in love.
I'd apologize for my erratic commenting but I'm pretty sure I don't mean it. Sorry.
Sad eyes at dinner time
G, corny is never banned here.
Dddragon, so a lover with gas must be more like an irresistible force meeting an immoveable object than even I guessed.
Jenna, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't mean it.
Icy, they hate when all they have are kibbles and bits.
lol Minka: "... that we both have assets." hahahahahaha.
and usually the apology is a belated attempt to get something one lost through one last smart remark.
Apologize: greasing the status quo to keep things running as they have been.
Actonbell, I don't think I know that song. Maybe I'm an early onset doddering old fool, too. Can you name that tune?
Mireille, put that way I have to wonder if Minka wasn't taking a little poetic license as to who was apologizing to whom.
Perfect, Indie. It's always the last user who realizes the importance of maintenance.
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