Saturday, December 01, 2007

Shahrazade's Wedding, Part VII

"The Beowulf of Wedding Planning" -Actonbell

To hear the story, ask directions

To read the story, come to the Temple at Luxor

Rabbit Rabbit!


TLP said...

First. Not first to actually listen of course. BBS.

TLP said...

Wow, kid, this is really, really, really, seriously, really, really good! Not that I'm surprised. I may seem surprised that it's that do I get outta this?

TLP said...

Forgot to say RABBIT RABBIT. It's easy to get excited by being FIRST.

mireille said...

Revenge, grubs and parasites are a dish best eaten cold. Story is really, really, Rabbit, Rabbit, good. xoxo

Minka said...

Interesting! so you take a few literary devices and facts and turn them upside down, cook them up in a nice stew and one better does not ask where it all came from. The pits of your brain give mythology books the creeps!

I like it!

Minka said...


played with my luck there when I most need it:

Rabbit, Rabbit!
Hase, Hase!
Kanina, Kanina!

*looks for some extra horse shoes to put under her pillow*

Anonymous said...

Rabbit Rabbit

Ok I am going to sound really stupid. I am lost here, can anyone explain the concept of the blog and how it works? Doug ?

Tom & Icy said...

I'm crying crocodile tears.

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, TLP. It's a nice surprise. This morning, the deadline was my muse.

Actonbell, nice job with the verifier. Took me a second.

Mireille, is that your recipe for gazpacho?

Minka, we use every part of the animal.

AIM, I'll be glad to, but long-winded. After the American Civil War, a former soldier named Ambrose Bierce became this country's first newpaper columnist and greatest cynic. A feature he added at some of the newspapers he worked for, he called The Devil's Dictionary (I have a link on the right to an online version,) in which he would write new definitions for words and, using irony, wordplay and other devices, use the definitions to satirize American and Californian culture and politics.

Back when I was a reader, not a writer of blogs, a countrywoman of yours (Karma, also linked on the right) wrote definitions of two words an elegant and refined woman your age should not know of and her post put me in mind of Bierce and this site was born. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday here you'll see two definitions of a word, the first is copied from Bierce, the second is my attempt. Wednesdays I do a word Bierce didn't cover usually with an accompanying fable or verse and Saturdays are for storytelling.

As for what the rest of you do, it varies from person to person or day to day. People write their own satirical definitions, quote other sources, wish each other rabbit rabbit, make puns, try to make me feel like my attempt at cleverness wasn't at all indecipherable, etc. There are no rules other than, to restrain ourselves from obscenity and sometimes there are problems when the comment section gets too much like a chatroom. Most of us who participate here have been a blogging community for several years which means (1) I've learned to accept not having my rules followed here as well as in my home and at my job; and (2) your question is not stupid. The others you see here don't have to ask because many asked in 2005. You're welcome to join as often or as rarely as you like but don't worry about what kind of comment is appropriate. Any further questions, feel free to ask. Click here if this answer was useful to you.

Icy, your avatar is so good I want to pick meat from between your teeth.

Anonymous said...

Whew! I'm confused. I thought this was a chat room.

Anonymous said...

I thought you were the second coming of Ambrose Bierce, like his reincarnation. Ain't that what "Waking Ambrose" means?

Nessa said...

I don't understand. Can you explain that again?

The moral of today's episode: Look when someone says look or you will get bitten in the bottom.


Rabbit, rabbit.

Jamie Dawn said...

This story is a croc.


I love all the violence and talk of good soup.

Rabbit, rabbit!!!
I'm thoroughly enjoying this story.

mireille said...

I like it when Tom gets sarcastic. So rare. This isn't a chatroom? It's snowing in Seattle, btw. xoxo

TLP said...

I was tryin' to get the weather channel. Thanks for the update Mireille.
It's sort of a bulletin board isn't it?

I'll follow the rules on days when there is a word and a definition. And on days when I feel like it. Which is most days. Kinda.

Doug The Una said...

So, to make is clearer, Karishma, as you can see even the intentionally obnoxious get to stay. \

Lammy, it was when your cousin Lula was here. She was nice.

Dusty, from one newspaperman to another, no. Well, probably not.

Nessa, I oughtta... Rabbit rabbit

Jamie Dawn, now I kind of want to pitch this to Hollywood so I can say "This story has everything, bubbie! It's got violence, it's got soup! Soup sells!"

Yeah, Mireille, did you check the moon? I envy Seattle for its snow and sweet-smelling sirens.

TLP, the first rule of the Pezosphere: the rules don't apply to TLP or her two older daughters.

Lila said...

Rabbit, rabbit! This is a particularly good episode...

Heckdayamean, "two older daughters"??? What am I, chopped liver?

Doug The Una said...

Sis, of the three only one holds herself out as some kind of pious and devout object of vegetarian esteem. I think that one should have to follow the rules. Namaste!

Anonymous said...

2005? Wait, I was there. Holy ... where the [expletives deleted by order of The Holy Curmudgeon] did the time go?!?

doves, children of treason

Konrad Lorenz would have been proud.

But, crocodiles being amphibians? No they're not, they're reptiles. No, wait, "reptiles" is paraphyletic, we can't use that any more. And they are semi-aquatic. No, that's "amphibious". And you can't even smile at them. Oy.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

javajazz said...

backwards bunny.

Lila said...

Bite me? Said the carrot to the vegetarian?

tsduff said...

I love to hear nice tales with crows in them. And I agree with anonamoeba... doves being children of treason has a terrific poetic lean. Excellent story - best yet.

Ariel the Thief said...

Rabbit, rabbit!

Thank to you, Karishma, now we have a clear picture of what DOUG thinks Waking Amrose is about.

Doug The Una said...

Darnit, amoeba, I was gonna say reptiles, too but they live in water most of the time. Biology sure is confusing.

Tibbar, tibbar, JJ.

Bite you, AP3? Bite me! Oh, wait, you can't can you?

Thanks, Terry. Maybe the last minute is a good muse.

Ariel, Karishma's probably the first to wonder which is silly of her, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Ah, Now I get it. It's o nly taken me a couple of year.

That was so good I listened and read it twice.

hate blogger

love you


Ariel the Thief said...

Doug, as far as I can remember she's the first one to actually want the owner of the blog for answer. The rest of us... had stood amazed at the doorstep for a minute or two before we took seat and started to shout at the top of our lungs. :-D

Mother Theresa said...

That naughty Creampuff and his treasonous offspring. And all this time I thought doves were symbols of peace, now where did I ever get such a silly idea? This story is getting better all the time. :)

I kind of figured the rules out by osmosis, but it's good to see it all spelled out in black and white.

Anonymous said...

Tibbar, tibbar (d'oh!) and wow. TLP is oh-so-correct. this tale is just all kinds of good, bub.

“How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak”

for some odd reason, i suddenly find myself compelled to quote Jack Handey, even as i express the opinion that the only good dove is made of chocolate. ; )

Doug The Una said...

Cooper, blogger hates us all. One of these days when both ambition and time are mine, I'll look into a host with a gentler hand. Thankfully, anonymous has been an alias of yours for some time.

Ariel, isn't every blog a primal scream, digitized?

Theresa, traitors are always symbols of peace. By black and white, you mean, of course, gray.

Neva, Handey's handy, gotta admit. And it's an excellent question.