Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Well Designed Man

My fingers cramp, my arms don't bend
My neck is sore, I'm near the end,
My teeth are loose, my ears are waxy
My stomach's fraught and hot and laxy
My feet are blistered, toes grown furry,
My knees are stiff, sometimes I worry
My soul's grown vacant, skull has too
It's a shame what years will do
Hollowed, hardened, round and dangled
Thirsty, falling, unfilled, tangled
Yet I know rising, buoyant hope
As a bucket on a rope.

LEAK, n. A supply-side sip.


TLP said...

Wonderful, and too, too funny!

(Except I had no idea that you could foretell the future like that.)

Leak: that's in the future too, son.

Logophile said...

You know,
a blog pal of mine is celebrating a birthday and I have number 40 approaching fast.
This sounds vaguely threatening.

quilly said...

This describes me pretty well, too. I was hoping nobody knew about the furry toes -- or the leaks. sigh

Anonymous said...

Ain't getting old grand? LOL Too funny this was and so true LOL :) Good one mi amigo.

Jim said...

That's me in your description, Doug. You had me worried when I first read "I'm near the end" but then I decided after the last line it didn't mean the end of life.

Leak: A leak in Mexico might cost having your head delivered in a suitcase.

k. riggs gardner said...

Yeah we know all about it Grandpa Jim! You can’t sing, play an instrument, paint or draw, or probabliy even write very good. But you like to write. [You used to like to sing (HAPPY BIRTDAY TO YOU!) until you were was asked not to be in a church choir a long time ago} Your sister from Iowa is coming Thursday, you're teaching SS this Sunday, and you have Mrs. Jim’s Sunday school class over for lunch after church this Sunday also!

sauerkraut said...

They make things for when the tummy gets all waxy, yanno.

For some reason, I'm thinking either you or cooper inspired each other today. Does Donovan have furry toes? I didn't notice.

k. riggs gardner said...

sauerkraut -- Did you think regular commenters on this blog haven't noticed cooper and Doug have an odd relationship? This is because she's odd. She writes posts about being stalked by Cuban waiters. Why do you go to her blog? And what was up with your brilliant scrapple comments on this blog?

Did you also notice that Doug and Quilly visit JIM'S LITTLE BLOG? One time Jim even made an appearance at TLP's blog!

I'm thinking these may be several of the reasons this dysfunctional blog is scheduled for an 11/06/2010 completion date!

k. riggs gardner said...

And one more ding-dang thing s'kraut:

"Why can't I lope; because you are fruity to elope. Just bring a ladder."

Anonymous said...

some leaks unstoppable
just dribble on and on......

as for a
supply side leak
i thought i
was just getting
pissed on
evaporated fast
left nothing
but the odor
middle class

sagging economic strength
the day you stop playing
is the day you start getting old


cooper said...

I love the poem but you're scaring me with that leak stuff. I get this visual of the sticky tabs on Whoopi Goldberg's Depends breaking.

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

Leak...hum. Sadly, these days I often find myself fortunate to reach in due time the loo without springing a leak!
Aging sucks.

Doug The Una said...

TLP, that depends.

Logo, it was pure fantasy.

Quilly, propriety took a holiday.

Thanks, Thom. At least the mind's still, uh. Ah. Hm.

Nope, Jim. Just the end of life off the rope.

Karen, you've studied Jim pretty close. If that ain't love I don't know what love is.

Sauerkraut, I read Cooper's post before I wrote this, if that helps.

Karen if the relationship between Cooper and myself seems odd, it's entirely consensual.

Bear, that's the barroom aroma.

Cooper that's a very funny, very bad image.

Tempest, it desiccates too.

TLP said...

Snicker. Good one.

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, TLP.