Noise

Noise, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

2005 Update: An incoherent buzzing caused by research, reflection or a mosquito's wings. Any interruption of spin.

Before the Fall

Story #22, in which an evangelist offers his pitch for the bosom of Abraham.

To hear the story, interrupt the wedding before someone makes a big mistake.











If you want to read the appropriate passage, talk to my sister (right).

After great consideration, I have chosen to cross-post this story at Doug Drones On.

King

King, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

A king, in times long, long gone by,
Said to his lazy jester:
"If I were you and you were I
My moments merrily would fly --
Nor care nor grief to pester."

"The reason, Sire, that you would thrive,"
The fool said -- "if you'll hear it --
Is that of all the fools alive
Who own you for their sovereign, I've
The most forgiving spirit."

2005 Update: A male sovereign whose divine right and funny ears share a source. See Donkey.

Happy Birthday to King Stevie I of Portland

Left, Stevie Mooney, Crowned Head

Iconoclast

Iconoclast, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performance, and most strenuously protest that he unbuildeth but doth not reedify, that he pulleth down but pileth not up. For the poor things would have other idols in place of those he thwacketh upon the mazzard and dispelleth. But the iconoclast saith: "Ye shall have none at all, for ye need them not; and if the rebuilder fooleth round hereabout, behold I will depress the head of him and sit thereon till he squawk it."

2005 Update: 1. The servant of a superior false god.
2. Tomorrow's icon.

Special Guest Corpse

This week, it's my profound pleasure to have the late, great Ignatius M. Dedd as my Wednesday guest. I.M. Dedd offers the following definition:

Disdain, n. Can you believe this? This is my word? Disdain? Damn blogger. Can't come up with anything better that that? Of course, I guess he has to consider his audience. They're a bunch of bloggers, too. All sitting around their computers, needlessly prattling on about their lives. Where the hell is my vicodin?

About I.M. Dedd: The author of Dead Guy Lives is one of those gems of the blogosphere, producing a cartoon strip as witty as the best you'll find in your newspaper. His humor is broad, keen and edgy with droll illustration. More or less gallows humor for the guillotine set. Not only is Ignatius skilled and clever, he's a pioneer, having invented first person toilet humor and making fun of the President.

Published every Monday except when he sneaks it in on Sunday, I strongly recommend a weekly view. When justice is finally done and Dead Guy syndicates, you'll have to pick up one of those self-righteous alternative weeklies to see his work. Here are three of my favorites: Disaster, Korky (warning, pedophile humor here,) and Monster Envy, Part II. Thanks, Ignatius, for a great guest appearance and for burnishing my street cred.

How to be a future guest in this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Desert

Desert, n. An extensive and fertile tract of land producing heavy wheat and vintage crops in colonization prospectuses.

2005 Update: A hostile country destroying the hope, ambition and vitality of youth under unrelenting heat, dessication, gambling, golf and old folk.

Monologue

Monologue, n. The activity of a tongue that has no ears.

2005 Update: An atom of political discourse which forms a salt in outrage.

Who Framed Rabbit, Rabbit

Story #21, in which Doug doubles trouble

To hear the story, play Shave and a Haircut for Roger.







To read the story, click on Tupac Amaru, inspiration of the Sendero Luminoso revolution.

It may surprise you to know that this story is cross-posted on Doug Drones On.

Universalist

Part III in our three-part TLP celebration.

Universalist, n. One who forgoes the advantage of hell for persons of another faith.

2005 Update: A seeker of the salvation reserved for the inclusive.

And happy belated (I think) birthday to Spirit Dancer, who may share TLP's birthday. Masil, you hush up.

Unitarian

As TLP week continues...

Unitarian, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

2005 Update: An empiricist pondering the great mysteries of life and faith such as how many angels can fit on the head of a pin with a coffee urn; when we die do our souls leave our bodies or continue to inhabit our remains at the Justice Committee meeting, or; how do we know Emerson wasn't gay?

Rabbit, rabbit.